Blue Platinum

I'm Mac Manish Locc of Earthquake Crips, the second largest gang in Marin, a city on the coast of Central California. I come from a line of Crippin named by Mac. My big homie is my older brother Mac Nutty from SeaBlue Mob from SeaBlue City and my O.G. is my oldest brother Mac Slimm from SharkCity. My little homies are Mac Haze and my nephew Mac Chunk from my set; both are heir to the Mac lineage. With my big homie and O.G. from different sets, cities, and being locked down I've had to keep the Mac lineage going in a battlefield between two cities all while staying true to myself, my family, and my morals. Sucio, a huge city to the east of Marin, was controlled by Northerners and Southerners, with few Crips and fewer Bloods. SeaBlue City, a city to the south of us, was controlled by Crips, with few Northerners and almost no Southerners. These two cities same color, same race warred on each other and Marin was often caught in the crossfire, on top of problems of our own.

I woke up in the hospital; my right side ached like hell. I looked over to my right side to see my lil homies sitting in the hospital chairs. "You're awake, cuzz?" Haze asked. Haze was a 5'6'', 16 year old, Filipino with black hair and brown eyes. He got his name from all the weed he pushed and smoked. C-Swag looked up at me from his book "Oh shit, he is awake." C-Swag was 5'11'', 17 years, Black and Cuban, with black hair and brown eyes. I gave him his name since he had a Crip's swag before joining the gang, even though his family was Bloods. We often called him Cee for short. Next to him was Chunk, who was passed out on Dee's lap, she was passed out too. Chunk was 12, 4'8'', Black, Puerto Rican, and Mexican with long black hair to his waist and brown eyes. He got his name from my brother's ex girlfriend because he was fat as a baby. Dee was 6', 17 years old, Black and Filipino with long black hair and brown eyes. I looked over at the clock it said 12:23A.M. "Yeah, I'm awake and my side hurts like a bitch." I complained as Haze walked over to my bed. "How long have you guys been here?" I asked. Haze shrugged "Since like…." he looked back. "Like 10." C-Swag finished. We were whispering. "Should I like, wake them up?" Cee asked. I thought for a moment, and then shook my head. I was glad Dee was taking care of Chunk in my absence, even though he was a part of the set he was still a little kid. Dee wasn't part of the set, but we looked out for her, she did a lot for us when we needed her. I waved Cee over to stand at the side of the bed with Haze. Both Haze and C-Swag were my niggas; they rode with me until the end. "Who did this to you, Cuzz?" Haze asked with a serious tone. "Those punk ass Marin Surenos." I told him. "What the hell? Nigga I thought they weren't trippin?" Cee said surprised. "Yeah I thought they were inactive." Haze asked. "Yeah, but with those drop outs from Sucio tryna start a Norte hood out here; the Surenos are tryna bounce back." I answered. Haze scoffed "You mean the Northsidin Marin niggas that tried to move into our apartments? The ones me and Cee beat the fuck down and kicked out? Those niggas are nobodies." "Well obviously they are doing something to get the Southsidin Marin niggas riled up." I answered back. "Well what happened that night." Cee asked. "I was walking up 200 block to meet up with Smurf at the elementary school to pick up our work, when I seen one on of the twins running down on the other side of street. I asked if it was Jay or Jax. It was Jay; he told me was running from some Mexicans that tried to jump him. I didn't have my banger; I only had my tanto so I hit Smurf and told him meet me at the church a couple blocks from the school. I hit Windy Top Park at the top of 200 then turned west onto Olsen road. I heard the music from their car but I thought it was the a Mexican party cuz they were parked in front of a house two houses down from the church, and it was dark. You know I got bad eyesight. So when I passed van, this bald dude hopped out and banged on me. I banged back. The only one who was trippin was the bald dude; the rest weren't really banging on me. He ran up and I slept him, then the rest came out. It was at least 5 of them, that's when I pulled the tanto and two of them pulled their blades. I sliced one and the other jabbed me like 3 times in the side until I sliced him. I took a few punches, but I held them off with the blade for the most part. When I started feeling tired I took off, stabbing their tires on the way. They chased me half way back down 200 then stopped. I ran the rest of the way back to the block." I explained "Caught a nigga slippin." And they really did, I should've had my banger on me at that time of night not just a big ass knife. Haze looked irritated "We needa blast back at those niggas." He told Cee. "What if they had their bangers, they would've killed him." "They ain't got no bangers, cuzz. The Crips gave them a pass as long as they didn't try to make a hood out here. So they didn't need bangers." I reminded him. C-Swag shook his head "Yeah but they'll be quick to go to Sucio to get guns." We remained quiet for a moment, thinking, because Cee was right. Sucio was 3 times bigger than Marin and had 4 times more Surenos than Marin; they would be quick to help the ones out here. But I had a remedy for that once I got out the hospital. Behind Cee, I seen Dee shift and start to wake up. "Listen, we will retaliate. Until then we will keep this between the three of us." I whispered lower, I didn't want Dee to hear. "Hey you're awake." Dee said excited "Chunk, Manish is awake." Chunk had a hard time waking up so Dee sat him down and walked over. Cee and Haze moved over and made room for her. She punched my shoulder "Wassup Punk! Can I get a thank you for the ride to the hospital? 9 miles out of Marin is still a far to drive with no gas" She said with a smile. "Yeah thank you for the ride and asking if I'm okay." I laughed; she always knew how to make me happy. "And you bled all over my backseat." Dee said with a cheesy smile. "Oh wow." Cee mumbled under his breath. "Shut up, Cee." Dee snapped back. Haze shook his head and rolled his eyes. It hurt to laugh, but I was happy to be with them. I took this moment in because as soon as I was out of the hospital it was back to the block and back to business.

Back on the Block

My set the Earthquake Crips primarily occupied Seacrest Street in the dead center of Marin. It consisted of 4 apartment complexes and shopping on both sides of the north ends of the street. The Charnell Apartments the biggest apartments that took up half of the street south to north. A small but long road between Charnell and a small private complex called Crest Garden Heights (We called them Heights) lead to Crest Gardens apartments the second biggest apartments on the street that sat behind the Heights. And across the street from Charnell apartments were Crest apartments, which were surrounded by Cypress trees on either side. Me and my clique took residence in Charnell apartments. Being that we lived on a street with no traffic lights on the south end, it would be easy to drive through the north end and shoot up our apartments and leave through the south end. But no one ever did out of respect for our Grandma Thelma, the Marin O.G. She wasn't aware of the gang situation but she had risen, babysat, was a teacher to every gangbanger's parents or was a family friend. She had lived in Charnell Apartments for 59 years; longer than anyone else. No one dared even pull a gun on our street unless it was us. Even though a lot of gang members were spread all over Marin, most of our members where were from the center of town or the Westside. Our gang has 4 ranks. Lil Loccs: members 15 and younger, they are inactive and don't go on missions. Lil Homies: Active members between the age of 15 and 17 who have been put on by a Locc. Loccs: Active members 17 and up with lil homies that are either Lil Homies or Lil Loccs. O.G.: an active member 21 and up who's lil homie has a lil homie. Our gang has four founding O.G.s; Dragoon, Blu-Roll, Ice Locc and Braid. Each was in charge of a certain set of EQC members. Ice Locc and Dragoon were in charge of any members in the Halls of Hell and the Westside, Blu-Roll was in charge of members in the Crest Gardens and Crest heights, and Braid was in charge of any members from Charnell apartments or anywhere else in Marin. We only recently started making territories in Marin; since the Norteno drop outs from Sucio came into our apartments and tried starting to make our street a hood. My boys beat them down and they moved out and took over a street next to The Trees Middle School called Owen Street. They call themselves began recruiting some of the Mexicans from around Marin and call themselves NSM: Northsidin Marin. Ironically they were closer to the south side of town. Asians claimed the nicer houses and a few blocks on the far northwest side of town and called it AAC: All Asian Crips. Then on the West side was the "Projects" or "Ghetto" of Marin, apartments called Cypress Lake aka "The Halls of Hell". That was owned by Samoan Mob, the biggest gang in Marin, all Crips. That was where all the tweekers, prostitutes, and heavy drugs dealers went to do and make their business under the watch of the Samoans. The west side of town was separated from the Center and Southside by railroad tracks that ran through Marin and separated from the North West by the duck pond. A large part of the east side of town was left unclaimed; since it was the side the older military vets had retired. Though it was rumored that was where the SSM: Southsidin Marin niggas had had claimed territory somewhere in the transition between the center of town and the east. The south side of town was bare of claimed territory, but almost all of the members of the Samoan Mob lived there. There had once been a small clique of Bloods in town but they had all since dispersed around and now don't bang. There were also a few cliques from other cities spread around town. Although Marin was Oriental influenced, its population mostly Black and Asian, the Mexicans and Samoans were recognized. All the gangs in Marin got along until NSM came into town.

The bus dropped me off in front of the apartments. I didn't want to bother Dee by asking her for a ride home. I walked through the front fence and into the apartments. It was filled with cypress trees and was very clean and well kept. There were 300 units and each apartment had 2 stories, two rooms and a bathroom upstairs, and a kitchen and living room downstairs. One building had three apartments in it side by side and another building across from it. There were two parks, two laundry mats, and two BBQ pits, on both sides and a multipurpose room in the middle. The complex was round by I looked to around for a bit to see who was outside but didn't see anyone, so I walked to the north end of the apartments and knocked on C-Swag's door. I stepped back looked into the kitchen window which was right next to front door "Cuh-riiiiiiiip! Cuh-riiiiiiiiiiip!" I called the Crip call into the window since the door bell didn't work. "Coming Manish." A voice called from inside. I went and waited at the door. Cee's mom opened the door "Hey O.G. Grace." I said "Hey Manish!" she replied with a smile. I hugged her as I walked in the door. I loved Grace, she was a true dedicated Christian woman with a slight Crip twist but didn't bang. "Cee will be out in a little. How are you?" she asked. I put my hand up my shirt and touched my stitches. "I'm okay, 10 stitches isn't that bad, I'll be healed up in the next few days." I answered. Grace nodded "Yeah, Cee told me what happened. That's crazy but you know the Lord said it wasn't your time to go. They could've killed you." She said. I looked down "Yeah, they could've. But that's the life of being a gangbanger; I was just caught at the wrong place at the wrong time." I sighed. She nodded "Yeah, you just have to be more careful." Just as her sentence finished C-Swag walked into the living room and tossed me my cell phone. "Thanks, bruh." Grace smiled "Alright guys, what are you guys gunna do?" she asked. "Probably go over to Grandma's and eat." I answered. "Okay, well you guys be good and be careful." She said as we made our way towards the door "Remember. Praise Jesus, Cuzz!" she laughed. I laughed and stepped outside; Cee shook his head "Bye mom." He said embarrassed. "Bye O.G.!" I called as C-Swag closed and locked the door. We walked a couple buildings down then I called my Grandma talked with her then hung up. "Grandma's not home but she has some leftover food in the fridge." I said "We're gunna go get it?" Cee asked. "No Nigga, I just lied to your mom and called my Grandma for no reason." I said sarcastically. "Fuck you, Nigga." Cee snapped back. We laughed; insults were always exchanged between us. We walked to my Grandma's apartment, I went and made a plate of food, heated up and we sat on her front steps and talked. "What did they give you to eat in the hospital?" He asked me. I thought back, I didn't really remember what they had given me because I was on sleeping medication the whole time."Some type of TV. Dinner shit. All I know is this chicken and rice is fucking amazing." I laughed. Cee looked at his phone, then at me "Uhhh, does Haze know you're out of the hospital?" he asked. "Naw, I haven't hit anyone yet. We'll go by his house when I'm done eating." "Well after we left the hospital all that dude talked about was shooting at those SSM niggas." He told me "I sware, he was on that shit for a whole day until he got so high he forgot." I laughed so hard I almost choked on my food. That sounded exactly like Haze, to get mad about something then get so high he forgot what he was mad about. Cee was chuckling too "I swear to God." He said. "Yeah I wouldn't doubt it. That nigga is crazy, but don't trip cuzz. We'll get them niggas back. Just give it some time." I told him "For now I needa catch up on the block report. I seen an EQC tagging crossed out in red across the street." Cee rubbed his chin "One of those weenie ass Norte niggas. They couldn't make it in Sucio so now they're trying to be all hard here." He sneered. The way we knew they were drop outs from Sucio was because I stayed in Sucio for my freshmen year in high school. There was a group of Northerners who used the biggest guy they could find for their hard work and told him they'd let him join their hood. Half way through the year, right before Jaime moved they told him they were never going to let him join because his brothers had dropped out of a Northerner Gang. Then they moved out here, and when I came home they had managed to start a clique of Nortenos without anyone noticing; leading them was Jaime. C-Swag didn't like them, neither did I. "Too many to wipe out so we will just have to deal with them cuz they are here, bruh." I responded. "Right." He agreed. "You sure you don't want a plate?" I asked Cee. He looked at my plate then shook his head "Naw, I'm good." He replied. Cee was a calm, collected person. He rarely got mad and always kept a sense of 'the right thing to do". This came from a Christian upbringing, which actually came in handy when choices were to be made. I met him through Haze, they had been long time friends, and Haze introduced us. Because C-Swag had no family in town or even in county, I called him my cousin because he was like family. I finished my plate, took it inside, locked the door and came out. "Come on; let's go to Haze's pad." I said. Everything in Marin was within walking distance. You could walk from one side of town to the other within an hour and a half. We walked from my Grandma's to my apartment, picked up my revolver and some money then left south from out our apartment. "You got your nine?" I asked Cee. He lifted the right side of his shirt to show his 9mm tucked into his waist band. "Aight, lets go." We crossed the over to the liquor store Penny Pincher, on the off to the left of the south end of our street. I walked in and bought a Wood Tipped Black and Mild while Cee waited outside. "Celebrating being outta the hospital huh?" he asked when I came out. "Hell yeah, cuzz." I laughed as I lit it. The sweet flavored smoke filled my lungs and I breathed it out; ready to go. We began walking back westward. Haze lived about three blocks over from us but he also lived a street over from NSM's Owen Street. We got to his street, Sunrise Ave and walked south to the end of the street where he lived. It was a nice Tuesday afternoon, the sky was blue and there was a nice breeze, the air smelled like the sea; I loved it. It was way better than being stuck in the stuffy hospital room. As we walked I noticed there were a lot of X4, XIV, and NSM tagging on the sidewalks and on the fences in front of houses. I pointed them out to C-Swag and told him they were probably going to try to claim this street too if we didn't do something about it. We walked up to the four way intersection before Haze's house, a block to the left we seen a couple Northerners and their girlfriends standing on the corner of Owen. As soon as they seen us they began whispering to their girlfriends and staring at us. "I don't know why they're tryna mug, Cuzz. They will beat the fuck up in front of their girlfriends," I told Cee. I wouldn't fight them if they wanted; I wouldn't risk opening my stab wound. "Haha looks like they know who you are." Cee laughed and stared harder at them "Cuz I beat up their big homies." He laughed. We crossed to their side of the street; one pulled out a red bandana and threw out four fingers. Instantly I pulled the navy blue bandana I had tucked in my back pocket waved it in the air and yelled "Cuh-Rippppppp!" C-Swag did the same but yelled "Earthquake Crippin, Cuzz!" "Rollin on you niggas!" "Cuh-Rippppppp!" we alternately banged on them. They were waving red bandanas, four fingers and pointing the Owen St sign above their heads. Cee looked around, then picked up rotten apple that had fell from a tree. He yelled "Man, fuck NSM!" and chucked the apple as hard as he could at the Owen sign. It exploded on impact, the girls screamed as it rained rotten apple, and they scattered away from the sign cleaning themselves. I lifted my shirt to show my gun tucked in my waistband and they finally collected themselves and turned around; they looked surprised when they seen the butt of my revolver. They looked at each other finally said something we could hear "Fuck you pinche miates!" and walked back onto their street. Me and C-Swag laughed and continued walking to Haze's house. "Aye, that was extra convenient that apple tree was there." I admitted to Cee. "Nigga….Hell yeah." He laughed. We didn't have a problem with Northerners, but NSM had a problem with us, so we often had altercations. When we got in front of Haze's house; I told Cee to text him and come out. Haze's family had lived in same house on the Southside since his mom came from the Philippines. He lived with his mom, stepdad, and older sister. His older brother moved to NY with his girlfriend. I got along with his whole family except his stepdad. The old man Steve was rude and stuck up, he and Haze often got into fights and Haze left to come and stay with me. His sister, who was 20 like me, claimed to once have been a Crip affiliate but every time I offered her to join the gang, she declined. Haze came out his front door "Awww cuzz! You're finally out the hospital." He said. He shook both mine and Cee's hand with the standard Crip handshake "How you feeling, cuzz?" he said lighting a cigarette. "Like I need some lean! But not right now haha, we got shit to do." I told him He took a puff then looked back at his front door. I wasn't uncommon that his step dad would stand by the door, looking through the peep hole and listening to our conversations. "Yeah what we finna do so I know what to tell my mom?" Haze asked me. This time all three of us looked at the front door. C-Swag got up and ran to his front door, and went into Haze's house; this was his way of making sure Steve wasn't at the door. Haze was a young hothead; little things would set him off. He was good for getting info and talking to people. In fact he was notorious for his networking skills. "We are gunna head back to the apartments get a block report from Braid and handle whatever business that needs to be handled." I answered. He nodded. "Yeah the Nortes were banging on me and Cee on the way here." I told him. "For what? Northerners and Crips are coo, why are they banging on us?" He asked. He took another puff and tossed his cigarette in the grass. I stepped on it and put it out. Haze smoked cigarettes like he breathed air, it was ridiculous. "They coo with Crips, they just aren't coo with EQC, since you guys kicked them out the apartments. Any other Crips they are coo with." I answered. He shrugged, "Oh well haha." C-Swag came out the house eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He started at us awkwardly before taking a bite and saying "I told your mom you were coming over to my house to help my mom." He took a few steps forward and lifted up his shirt and said "I got your gat for you too." Showing he had got Haze's 9mm that was spray painted blue. Haze walked over, took the gun, and tucked it into his waistband "And this too." Cee took out a pack of Marlboro Menthol Cigarettes, and tossed them to Haze. "Damn Nigga! You got everything ahahaha." I laughed "Thanks, Cuzz." Haze said. With that we went back to Charnell apartments, and Braid's house. Braid was a 6'5'', muscular, 25 year old Black man. He had ties to all the gangs, cliques, and territories in Marin. He was all around a good person and was good with providing EQC with info. He was our Block Reporter, the person that kept track of our business and what was going on in town. We sat on the steps outside his house. It was now 6pm, and the weather was changing. "The Nortes have been growing in numbers. It's not other members from Sucio either, they are Marin natives. They've been tagging around Mortimer Lane and in store bathrooms. They got into a melee at The Trees middle school with Samoan Mob because of it. AAC, has been quiet, as always they stay to themselves, they are also getting a shipment of guns this weekend, which means they are also going to be selling them. NSM and SSM are going to be getting their hands on some new guns. That's going to shift the power. SSM….those niggas are still underwater, they're around but if they've claimed some type of territory, no one knows. But they've been seen up north by Windy Top Park. The old Bloods have been kicking it on the North behind McDonalds and Dominoes. Those apartments there. They would've been over looked if they weren't talking in the Marin Liquor Store. No big deal from them. We are still the highest demand for lean and tree. The whites are still getting their coke from the Mexicans, and the pills and guns from the Asians." Braid filled me on the report. I thought for a moment "Have the SSM niggas gone to Sucio's Surenos for back up?" I asked. "Naw, not yet. I know you guys are going to retaliate. You better do it before they get heated." He advised me, "AAC holds the biggest territory with the Far Northwest, then Samoan Mob with the Southwest and The Halls of Hell. The Nortes have Owen Street and are tryna take Sunrise Ave and Cypress Street, to take the lead in our tie. But we've claimed the abandoned farm by the Pond." He continually informed. "That's stupid, why would the Nortes try to take Cypress? That's where the Police Station is," C-Swag said "Their traffic will be slow." Braid asked Haze for a cigarette then explained "It's perfect for them, there won't be drive bys." There were rarely drive bys in Marin. The town wasn't dangerous at all unless you were a known gangbanger, drug dealer, or criminal and we weren't trying to change that. Drive Bys, random robberies, car vandalism, store robberies, crime involving women or children and to a lesser extent tagging, were all prohibited; we did our business but EQC didn't want ANY civilians hurt. "Aright so what are we doing tonight?" Haze asked. I still had my stitches and it was already getting cold and foggy, it wouldn't be smart for me to do too much. "Tonight we'll go cover up the taggings NSM did on Mortimer and Sunrise. I don't want to go too far until my wound healed so after that we'll head back to my pad and eat and everything." Haze and C-Swag nodded. We shook hands with Braid and departed to my house where we dressed in all black, strapped up with knives and spray paint. We waited until the fog rolled in and it was pitch black at 8. Under the cover of night and the fog, we covered up taggings. The night had gone smoothly; we covered at least 75 taggings and I returned home by 10. "Fuck!" I had forgotten to get some lean. It was my first day home and we handled some business due as it was. I was so tired; I didn't call anyone or even take off my clothes. I laid on my couch and passed out.

The Unseen

It had been four days since I had got out of the hospital; so I had Dee take me to get the stitches removed and we were now on the way back to Marin on a sunny Saturday afternoon around 3:45. "Thanks for the ride, Dee." I thanked her. "No problem. So are we going to pick up your package?" she asked. "Yes, and I got your weed for taking me." I told her "And we'll put some gas in this beautiful Impala." Dee lived in the AAC territory of Marin, with her Filipino side of the family. I didn't know anything about her home life other than she didn't like being home. Dee was one of my best friends, and I'd do anything for her, so she hung out at my house often. Even though she didn't bang, she was highly regarded in the set for her contributions and her help. We were going to meet up with Beat Seekerz, a clique of break dancers. Shogun was Japanese and Mexican, Obese and Audio were Black, and Flex was Filipino and Mexican. They were all 17 and for whatever reason got along with AAC with no problems; so we went through them to get the guns from Asian Crips for cheap. We got back into Marin and headed straight for the North West; the nicest side of Marin. All of the houses were newly built two story houses. When we got to the neighborhood, we stopped at Obese's house and parked in his drive way. I texted Audio to come out. There was a brief silence then Dee turned to me and smiled, I knew she wanted something. "So I've been thinking; you think you can give me a gun?" she asked. I was shocked, she asked for quite a few things but never a gun. The question amazed me, but considering she hung out with EQC so much, giving her a gun wouldn't be a problem. Audio came out of Obese's house, so I answered before he got in the car. "Maybe, but I don't see why not." I answered. Audio hopped in the car, and sat behind Dee. "Wassup Dee? What cracking Manish?" "Hey Audio" "What's cracking, bruh?" Audio was all tall about 5'11'' and really skinny. He was notable because he looked like Wiz Khalifia with no tattoos. "I see your not wearing blue today." He chuckled. I looked down at my outfit; grey tee, black jeans and grey chucks. "Awww shit cuzz, you're right haha." I laughed "Everything in your closet is blue." Dee pointed out. "No, just most of what you see me in is blue. Haha" I corrected. "So where's Shogun and Flex? And what the hell is Obese doing?" Dee asked. Audio looked at his phone then at the house. He was waiting for Obese to come out. "Well Shogun and Flex are tryna get their cousins to give them the semi autos and I have no clue what Obese is doing." He answered. Our set only had handguns and revolvers, we needed semi automatic pistols. Since things were heating up in Marin, we needed to get heated up; pretty soon we were gunna need recruits if we wanted to keep our position in town. "So what's new?" I asked Audio. He rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. "We have a dance tournament in two weeks." He said. "Really? Are we gunna go?" Dee asked me, assuming I wanted to go. "Yeah just hit me up and let us know where and what time." I said to Audio "You know I support ya'll niggas." Because I actually did want to go, it sounded interesting. We shook hands then he and Dee hugged. Audio snapped as if he realized something "Oh! And I have some news for you. I heard from a dance crew in Sucio that the Filipino Bloods are moving out here." He said. "Really?! When did you here this?" I asked. "A few days ago. They are established in Sucio but like no one gives a fuck about them, so they are talking about moving out here." This only concerned me for a moment, and then it washed away when I remembered my stay in Sucio. The gang was an all Filipino Blood gang that called themselves Dark Ways Piru. They did nothing more than said they were Piru and wore red. A lot of them were related one way or other and all went to the same high school. I had a run in with a few of their little homies, they were always talking under their breath, and stared but did nothing more. I laughed "Well just like those niggas are nobodies out there, they are nobodies out here." "I know. They act all hard but they aren't going to do shit. They are a bunch of nerds." Audio chuckled. We heard the house door slam and Obese came out. He smiled when he seen me and Dee in the car, and hoped in the backseat behind me. "Wassup guys?" he said. Like Audio, he shook my hand and hugged Dee. Audio hung his hand on Obese's shoulder and said "I was just telling Manish and Dee about the Bloods from Sucio tryna move out here." Obese laughed "Ohh pffft, don't even worry about them Bro." he assured. "I'm already knowing." I told him. "So are you going to our dance tournament?" He asked. Me and Dee nodded. "Yeah, Audio just told us." Dee answered. Beat Seekerz were a good B-Boy group; they did break dancing, Krumping, and Bone Breaking all of which were difficult to mix. Obese's phone went off. He picked it up and answered it. After a quick conversation with Shogun, we were told that AAC weren't selling guns until Monday. This actually came as a convenience to me; because me, C-Swag and Haze had a mission. "Well what now?" Dee asked us. I shrugged and looked back at Obese and Audio; they looked like they were stuck in an awkward situation. "So we're having a barbeque in the apartments, you're invited to come." I informed them. "We're too down." Audio said excited. We talked with Audio and Obese for about 30minutes longer then told them we had to go. Dee had got a call from one of her friends that wanted to smoke, and since I wanted to give her weed I decided I may as well let them come back to the apartments to smoke. We went to the north side to pick up her friends Alexx and one I had never met. Alexx was a 17 year old Mexican girl as tall as Dee. I had met and talked to her a few times before, she was a really nice girl. The other one was short and angry looking Mexican girl, her name was Isis. When I introduced myself to her she seemed cool, but there was something familiar about her. We went back to Seacrest Street, Charnell's Apartments and my house. I called the locc Breaker Loc to drop off an ounce of weed. Breaker Loc was a Black and Jamaican 19 year old, who got his name from breaking arms in his MMA tournaments. We kicked back, sitting on the couch and watching TV but the eeriness of the familiarity that Isis had brought to me was killing me. She looked like someone I had seen before, someone I didn't like. That feeling wasn't good, having someone I didn't like in my house, it was like letting an enemy in your home. After about 20 minutes of waiting, Breaker knocked on my door. I looked out the peep hole, he was with Haze. Haze must've been with Breaker selling weed. I let them in, Crip handshake with both as they walked in. Breaker stood at the door while Haze hugged Alexx, Dee and Isis; that's when I got my chance to interrogate. "Oh you know Isis?" I asked Haze. He looked at her then me "Yeah, from school." He answered. I nodded "Yeah you look familiar, have I seen you before?" I asked Isis. Dee narrowed her eyes and looked at Haze then Alexx; I guess she knew was something was up. Every inch of me wanted to pull my strap and bang on her, but that was far from what I was about. She gave a negative vibe. "Aye, you used to come to the apartments huh?" Breaker asked "I've seen you around here before." She let out an awkward sound then answered "Yeah I used to have a cousin that lived in here." Breaker's face lit up "That's right! You're Tokez's cousin aren't you? That's my nigga." He said. That was it, where I knew her from. Tokez was a Northerner from SeaBlue City that used to live in the apartments. When I was younger I got into it with Tokez and my cousin broke it up. While Breaker and Isis talked, I silently let go of the tension I held from the previous altercation; it wasn't worth it to hold onto it. Dee had Haze roll up two blunts for them and when he was done he declined their offer to smoke. EQC member had a policy to never handle business under the influence and I made my lil homies up hold it to the fullest extent. Since Haze was out selling bud, he couldn't get high. Breaker and Haze left to get back to business, and Dee and her friends began smoking. I went into the kitchen poured a cup of Sprite, lean, and dropped a Jolly Rancher in it. The smell of smoke started filling my house so I opened the kitchen window and returned to the living room. I sat next to Alexx who passed the blunt to me but I declined. I didn't smoke or drink. Alcoholism ran in both sides of my family so I didn't drink, and getting high was pointless to me, so I didn't smoke weed. We talked until their high set in and they began to space out watching TV. When my lean set in I began to space out, lost in thought.

Was gangbanging worth it? It was like an endless circle of violence. They hurt you, you strike back, and they retaliate. It was almost never ending. It all seemed pointless, there was almost nothing to gain in the end but pain. Drugs, guns, jail, hate, none of it was worth it. Why did we do it then? Why, if we new nothing good would come out of it would we gangbang? We did it to keep the city in line. Bangers from cities around us, those bangers would make upset the peace of our city. They already have, with the tagging and claiming streets. But would that really keep our cities peace? Us banging? We were seen as something negative just like them. No, we weren't like what they expected, we were the opposite. EQC was started to help keep the peace in Marin. There's nothing less than that reason. We were going to keep our city from getting out of hand. We didn't want it like Sucio. Women, kids, elderly, families were all safe here. That's how it has been since we started and we pressed to keep it that way. What a stupid it reason to gangbang though; to help the city? How does that make sense? It would make sense to a person on the street if we told them. Because we could get under it all, something the no one else could do. We could get into sets and learn things like no one else could. Hear and see things. It was like watching an ant farm, you can watch but you can't interact. That's why we did it. We did it, to keep the order of the city. That's why I did it. Like my big homie said, when you do it, do it right. I was doing it right. I did it to put money on my brother's books and to pay to fix our grandma's house. That's what Crippin and banging was doing for me.

My mind raced but really I was stuck. It had taken an hour for me converse mentally with myself; for me to access things. Whereas it felt like only a short time had gone by, it was actually an hour. I looked up at the clock it was now 5:30. "Hey are you guys hungry?" I asked them. Dee had a big smile on her face and they all said yes. I got up to make them something to eat and Dee followed me into the kitchen. "Um did you have to follow me?" I asked her. "No, but I wanted to get myself something to eat." She answered sweetly. We were both too gone to respond to intelligently interact so we went about our business. The girls wanted cereal but I had no milk so I made them Rice Krispie Treats. After about another hour of being stuck watching TV and eating; the girls decided they wanted Dee to take them home. They departed with their goodbyes and Dee told me she'd be back. I went outside and sat on my steps to get some fresh air. After a few minutes Roosen Loc and Powder walked by, stopped and stared. Roosen was a tall and lanky, light skinned black kid. Powder was a Roosen's big homie, a bulky white guy a little older than me. Both belonged to EQC. "Aye cuzz, what's cracking, you good?" Roosen asked me. It seemed like he knew I was leaning and that's the only reason they stopped and asked. "Yeah, why?" I asked. Me and Powder didn't get along; I thought he was too cocky, and he didn't like my ethics. Every chance I got I was picking at his nerves, trying to push his buttons. "Yeah, those niggas didn't get me good enough," I said, referring to being stabbed "You know? Real nigga shit." This was a shot at Powder. A stupid move considering that I was leaning and not ready to fight. "Aight cuzz, well just checking." Roosen said. They then continued on their walk. Me and Powder were going to fight one day, and I was going to make sure of it, and that day everyone would be there to see it. To me, he was an act trying to show off for the set, and I would pull his card. I got on the phone and called to make sure everyone was going to the barbeque, and they were. After the 20 minutes, Dee returned. We went inside. She rolled up joint, I answered calls about the barbeque and by 8 o'clock, and we passed out.

The next morning Dee and I went out to SeaBlue City to get the stuff for the barbeque, by 11 we were cooking and by 12:30 during the beautiful hot afternoon. Everyone was there. Haze, Isis, C-Swag, Alexx, Shogun, Obese, Breaker, Audio, Braid, Flex, Chunk all showed. Also my cousins Smurf and Trevon, who weren't gangbangers but hardcore hustlers, Haze's girlfriend Elania, and our homegirls Aria and Violet from AAC were in attendance. C-Swag's girlfriend was supposed to come but she failed to follow through. The event was successful, even people new to me showed. Breaker and Chunk taught MMA, Haze and Braid freestyled, and Beat Seekerz showed off their dance moves. Trevon was thin but muscular with short hair and as tall as me, where as Smurf was 6'3" and heavy muscular. Me and my cousins conversed about the city status and told the story of our Grandma Thelma successfully expelling the Hell's Angels from Marin. We never fully believed the story until my cousin Trevon's mom confirmed it. Flex and Shogun told us that there would also be a rap battle competition at the dance competition, and Haze should join, so I got him to agree to go. Cee seemed bummed out that his girlfriend didn't come, but we all knew she would, this wasn't uncommon. She would always say she would come to hang out but never did and I didn't understand how Cee could deal with it. I didn't like Haze's girlfriend Elania, she was stuck to him; depended. On top of that caused a lot of problem when it came to missions and her fussing with Haze not to do what he was told. So I made it more than clear to Haze, her and everyone else I didn't like her. It was from my Mac lineage: girlfriends were distractions and that's what I avoided. Dee and everyone that wanted to smoke went back to my house and smoked. While grilling, the girl that Violet brought slowly but surely made her way over to me. She was a short Mexican girl, around 5'1" with big brown eyes and curly brown hair. "Hey!" she smiled. "Hello." I replied. She took a step closer "My name Marleen, I've seen you around a lot and now I finally get to meet you!" she said. She was making me nervous; I wasn't used to girls approaching me this way. "I'm Manish. Haha if you seen me, how come you never stopped me to talk to me?" her smile was contagious, because I was now smiling." Well I would but you always disappeared." This prompted me to think if I had ever seen her before, but I couldn't recall. "Awww, I'm sorry. Next time just call my name." I told. From then we began talking. I was embarrassed because I smelt like smoke so every time she got closer, I moved a little further. She caught my attention, something about her kept my attention on her, and I liked it. We were interrupted by Shogun and Flex coming over. "Excuse me, just a second." I told her. Flex was higher than I had ever seen him. "What's good?" I asked. "So you are going the Stylez Competition?" Shogun asked. I nodded yes. "It's in Sucio, next Friday. Just um, don't bring any metal, cuz there will be a lot of Nortes there." He informed me, referring to guns. This was a little unsettling, especially after being stabbed, but there were no worries. Flex stood there smiling at me, he didn't know what was going on. Me and Shogun laughed, "I got you ahaha, we'll be there." I replied. Shogun and Flex returned to everyone else and the party. Before me and Marleen could continue talking; Alexx and Isis came over. They were just as high as Flex. It was kind of funny a lot of people were high at the party; they were walking around like zombies. "Hey I didn't know you and my cousin Tokez knew each other." Isis told me. This struck a nerve and irritated me a little bit. "We don't know each other. We had a run in." I said coldly. "Oh, he told me he knew you before he moved out." She said. "He didn't get move out," I smiled "he got kicked out." Isis looked surprise and said she would ask him about then her and Alexx walked away. It was true though, C-Swag's mom was the manager of the apartments, and she had kicked out Tokez and his family because they had 6 people in the house when the lease said 2. I thought it was funny, since she let me stay in my house free of rent. Aria and Violet came to me saying Chunk was hitting on them and if he didn't stop, they would kidnap him and keep as their husband; this was hilarious. Chunk was a true Mac, he always got the girls, no matter how much older they were and always had more than one. There were always competitions between Chunk, Haze and Trevon to see who got what girls. He won the two cute Asian girls that time. Haze his girlfriend disappeared, I didn't even bother asking what they were fighting about now, they irritated me. Cee was no longer upset about his girlfriend, but instead he enjoyed the barbeque; watching Beat Seekerz dance. When Dee walked by I gave her a hug, and expressed my gratitude to my best friend for helping. The barbeque couldn't have happened without her. For the whole day Marleen stayed by my side talking to me, pausing when my friends came to speak with me. Dee, Haze, Cee, and Trevon all kept eyeing us every once and awhile, so I knew they noticed. I didn't think she knew I was a part of EQC, because she didn't ask me any question about it. She did ask for my number, and got it, me and her would be talking after that. The barbeque was successful, and everyone was having a good time.

In The Night, There is Only The Moon

It was 11'clock. Everyone had left the barbeque at 9. Dee, C-Swag, and Haze waited for the call with me. We had all donned our nightclothes; black chucks, Dickies, hoodies and blue rags. My .44 Magnum sat on the table next to Haze's Glock 40 and Cee's Smith. I put a Beretta 93 on the table and slid it to Dee, "Here," I told her "I was going to give it to you anyways, but now is the right time." Her hand slid over the gun gracefully and she picked it out and weighed it out. I tossed the clip across the table next. "Thanks for taking us to do this, Dee. If anyone tries anything with you, you blast them, and if it looks like we're ina bad position, leave." Dee's well being was more important than ours was, and I wouldn't risk it. "Uh," she hesitated "Alright." My phone went off, and I answered it. After my 5-minute conversation, I hung up "Ready?" Haze asked. "Ready." I answered. We all picked up our guns and left. Dee took us to the Halls of Hell. The apartments were dark and blurry from the fog. It was an eerily scene, like something out of a horror movie. No one but designated people from sets were allowed in. Here, Bear from Samoan Mob, was waiting for me. Bear was a close friend of mine, we had both moved out of Marin and into Sucio at the same time and ended up at the same school. He and his whole family was Samoan Mob, and his immediate family owned the Halls of Hell. He walked, his huge menacing figure slowly making its way over to our car and came to the passenger's side. I got out and shook his hand, "What's good, cuzz?" I greeted. "What's cracking, cuzzin?" he responded in a calm voice. He waved at Dee who was in the driver's seat. This was business, so there was no time to waste. Cee hopped out of the backseat, and joined us. I opened the door and told Dee "We'll be right back." She nodded in an agreement, and Haze just stared. Bear lead the way through the maze like apartments. Even though getting around was complex, the apartments were simple and we were only on the outside. It was as if the place really was hell and full of sin. It smelled like weed and cypress trees; prostitutes and tweekers were everywhere. None of them would look in our direction, they were scared of Bear. Regardless of this I was still nervous as hell. This place was taboo to be in, and even dangerous, tweekers were unpredictable. "I found a person who will know where they are at." Bear told me, a prostitute heard him speak and turned away. I looked back to make sure C-Swag was okay behind me. "Who is it?" I asked. My eyes never left our surrounds. We walked into a building that had stairs that seemed to lead underground, this was probably were the "Hell" part of the name came from "His name is Juice, he's a Black Norte from Sucio. He stays in these apartments." Bear answered. We walked down two flights of stairs to a hot, dimly lit hallway filled with doors. The rooms emitted a smell a nasty mix of hard drugs. It really felt like we were walking down a hall in hell. "Why does he live here and not in Sucio?" Cee asked. "His hood in Sucio didn't support him, he's Black, not Mexican. When he moved out here, he started tweaking now that nigga stays here." Bear answered. We stopped in front of door marked twelve. Bear twisted the knob but the door didn't open and he looked mad "What the fuck? These motherfuckers know they aren't supposed to lock their doors. When we get in there, beat the shit out of that nigga." He snarled. We motioned for us to step back, which we did. He stepped back then kicked the door, smashing it open. Adrenaline rushed. Me and Cee ran in, Juice sat at a table; he had just taken a slam of heroin. When we ran up on him, he flung his right arm back trying to slash me with a knife but missed. That pissed me off and I became enraged. I grabbed his wrist, extended his arm, slammed his elbow and broke his arm. Before he got to scream, Cee grabbed him by his hair and slammed his face into the table. He screamed in pain, like he had been possessed. Bear came up behind us and kicked his chair from under him. Cee used his face to knock the heroin needles off the table and I began kicking him in the stomach as hard as I could. Fury had taken over. We tossed his around like a ragdoll. "Unless you want me to break your ribs and your other fucking arm, tell me where the fuck the SSM faggots are at!" His eyes rolled back in his head and he coughed up blood as his high set in. Cee slammed his face on the table one more time. He mumbled the answer but we heard. Cee dropped him and we turned to Bear, who looked pissed off. "We'll handle him from here." He said lowly, I nodded and we left the room. There were two huge Grizzly like Samoans outside the door; they went in as soon as we walked out and closed the door behind them. This was like an old school Mafia scene. Left the Halls of Hell and went back to Dee's car. That was the just what I needed, to get me into the mode. "What happened, Cuzz? Haze asked. "We are going back to where I got stabbed." I told him. Dee started up the car and drove off.

We rode in silence, all of us in our own mind thinking of the events to come. What little fear I had was run out by my adrenaline rush and my hatred for my enemies shone. We parked at the top of 200 block at Windy Top Park. Behind me I heard the metallic clicks of Haze and C-Swag loading the clips into their guns. I looked at Dee who was looking out of her window; something was wrong. "You guys be careful please." She demanded "If anything happens to you, I'll beat your guys' asses." We all chuckled. I took Dee's hand. Cee wrapped his arms around her neck, Haze grabbed her shoulder and we all promised her we would come back. We planned on telling her that. Loaded and ready we hoped out of the car, I reminded Dee to leave if we looked like we were in a bad situation. She agreed and drove off. We waited a moment; she called and confirmed that they were parked at the abandoned house next to the church. I thanked her and told her to wait two blocks down from the church, until we got back. I asked C-Swag and Haze if they were ready and they assured me they were. The night was pitch black and foggy, like this Sunday night was meant for us to creep up on our revenge and take it. The fog was so dense you couldn't see more than 3 feet ahead of you but the moon shined through. We walked slowly down Olsen road, listening to our surroundings. There were no cars driving and all the house lights were out, there was no life out but us. We crept up the east end of the house and seen their Toya Previa in the driveway. The old house was wrecked and broken down; overrun by plants. None of them were outside the car; all of the Southerners were in their car. We all tied out bandanas around our mouths to prevent our exhaled breath from being seen. With a deep breath it began. I signaled for Haze to run and duck behind the van. Within a flash he was there with his gun out and ready. I dashed in after, then Cee. They were playing Sureno music and talking. The stench of alcohol leaked from their van; this was good that probably meant they were drunk; we'd catch them off guard. I crouched at the back left end, Cee in the middle and Haze on the back right. My heart was pounding, this was the revenge I had been waiting for, and it was at my finger tips. Haze pulled out his blade and slashed the back left tire, letting the air hiss out. The van bounced as if they were surprised, then they began arguing like females about who would get out to check the tire. This was it, wrecking time. The driver opened his door and stumbled out. I turned the corner and unleashed the quake, blowing his right leg from under him. He screamed and flailed like a wild monkey. Blood splattered everywhere. Cee sprinted to the front right of the van, when the passenger got out, slashed his calf. The 3 remaining came out on the right side door and met with the barrel of Haze's Glock 40. "We got them at point." Haze called over to me. Success; only someone drunk would leave their car after hearing a gun shot. I got lucky the one guy I shot, was the same who stabbed me. I snatched the royal blue bandana out the downed Southerners pocket, broke his jaw, gagged him so his screams couldn't be heard then dragged him around to right side of the van. His homeboys stared in horror at the bloody stub that used to be his leg. "If any of you try to run or do anything stupid, you'll get your brains blown out." Cee snarled "get on your stomachs." We had caught them, and they were going to pay for what they did to me. I pulled the bandana from my face. Haze and Cee did the same. The SSM niggas were scared whining and begging for their lives. We stood over them, all on their bellies; we were the shadowy figures of vengeance to them. "You bitches remember me, Cuzz?" I hissed "You stabbed me and didn't finish your job, pussy ass niggas." I pointed my .44 at the bald one's head. "What's your name, bitch?" I demanded, kicking him as hard as I could. "Cortez." He mumbled, there was a sound of defiance in his voice. He had a huge blue star tattooed on the back of his neck. Haze kicked the one to his left and he answered "Tiny." He was actually the tallest of their group. Haze kicked the one next to him and he just whimpered. I shook my head and looked at the one C-Swag was standing over. Cee dropped a quick knee on his head and he answered "Gordo." He was fatter than the rest of them. "I'm Manish Locc from EQC." "Young Haze, bitches." "C-Swag, rolling on you faggots." Then I asked them where they were from as if I didn't know. There was silence. Cee got mad "Where the fuck you from, nigga?" He yelled and pistol whipped Gordo. They were all shaking, and breathing heavily. Finally Cortez answered "Southsidin Marin." Haze lit a cigarette, with his gun still pointing at Tiny's head. The smell of the cigarette was sinister. "Now your homie that just got his leg blown off, what the fuck is his name?" I demanded. No answer from anyone again. This time Haze dropped his lit cigarette on Tiny's back. It burned through his shirt like butter and began burning his back. Tiny screamed in agony and answered "Ese Cuete!" Cuete flinched and began whimpering and crying even harder. I looked back at the one Cee had cut his calf, he remained completely motionless. "Slash all their calves," I told Haze and Cee "And if you scream we'll blast you." Haze and Cee took their blades and carved Cs in their left calves. They all squealed like injured kids. We were leaving them with a mark they would remember forever. My hatred was burning to continue, this wasn't enough. It seemed only to be fueled by the blood that was drawn from their bodies. I took all their bandanas and dropped them on Cuete's blown off stub; they began to soak up the blood. "That's how the fuck I feel about your bandanas nigga. Haze, stomp out their arms." Haze didn't hesitate; he grabbed their right arms one by one and stomped on them until they snapped. It was a bloody mess. Now the whole ground around us was drenched in blood, drenched in revenge. Cee went into their van and found their tequila "You guys like drinking huh?" He began dumping it on their calves and arms. They began squirming like worms but made no sounds this time. This still didn't satisfy my hunger for revenge, I craved more, but something seemed like I was losing myself. This wasn't me. "Fuck SSM, nigga. And if you fuck with us Cuzz, we'll destroy you niggas. Earthquake Crippin over here cuzz. We ain't giving you bitches any passes." I told them. Haze and C-Swag pulled out their rags and started hollering the Crip call. "Cuh-Rippppppp!" "Cuhhhh-Ripppp!" "Cuh cuh cuh- Ripppppppp!" "Cuhhhh-Ripppp!" We howled like a pack of wolves in the night. We had taken our revenge and nothing stood in our way. Broken arms and carved calves were good enough; we left them with the memory of this night. Before we left, we broke all but one of their phones and Haze broke the tequila bottle over the unnamed ones head. We left the gruesome scene ran all the way to Dee's car, hopped in and told her to drive. Cee called 911 for the SSM niggas then threw the phone in the duck pond. Everything went more than perfect. We struck out like wolves, our revenge full and unaltered; our Crippin was to the fullest. That night, we put our set up higher on the ladder than it had been before, and it felt good. That night, we had accomplished more success than we knew. We got back to my apartment and Cee cleaned my gun, while I cooked us dinner, Dee put our clothes in the washer and Haze rolled 3 blunts. It was 1:50am when we all finally sat back and relaxed. Like the previous night, Dee was high and I was leaning. In addition Haze was high too. We ate dinner and relived the past 5 hours out loud. We rejoiced the victory we had taken that night, and went to bed bathed in glory.

Its All How You Feel About It

The next morning while everyone was still asleep I called my brother Mac Nutty. Despite always being locked up on and off during my life, I looked up to my brother. I always went to him when I had a problem or to get advice. This was easy because he owned a cell phone in prison. He taught me my Crippin and gave me my name. He was from SeaBlue City Mob but lived in Marin while he was out and on the streets. He was now doing a 17 to life stay for a home invasion he did when I was 10. I called and told him about the previous night. "Sounds like you guys handled business like you were supposed to. But I thought you were against violence?" he asked. "Yeah, I am but shit is getting ugly out here; with the Nortes that moved in, the city has been messed up. We don't have problems with the Surenos but I had to let 'em know not to fuck with me or EQC." I answered. "You niggas are maynee, cuzz. But remember there's always someone out there just as real as you or crazier. Don't think because they won't get back, their homies wont. The Southerners been out in Marin forever." "Yeah I know, they'll think twice before they fuck around and attack just anyone. They don't own shit out here, neither does the Nortes." "Well, you know things are subject to change, Lil Bruh. If I was out there on the streets it'd be a different story. But once you get up there in age, the banging shit becomes irrelevant. Banging won't put your kids through school or pay your bills, my nigga. Unless you do it right, but nowadays niggas are fucking their shit up." "Right." I agreed "That's when a nigga has to assess when they willing to die for it or not. Never die for anything that won't die for you. It's impossible for Crippin, Bloodin or anything to die for you. Its impossible, my nigga; so it really isn't worth it. Really the only thing worth dying for is your family. Always keep that in mind." "Yeah, I know. That's why everything I do here goes to your books or to fixing Grandma's house." "Oh yeah. Definitely Grandma is always first. By the way, how's Grandma Thelma?" "She's good. Ready to talk someone's ear off. You should call her yourself." "Yeah right. I don't have enough time in the day for one of her conversations." We laughed. Although there's was so much visible different about us, we were more alike than anyone knew and I held onto that fact. We talked about Haze and Chunk, our Grandma, SeaBlue City, Sucio and what I liked to cook. He always asked my interest in cooking to see if I furthered my pursuit at a career in culinary. We talked for at least 45mintues more then he had to get off the phone. "Alright Lil Bruh, I'll call you sometime this week; I love you and ce safe." "Love you too, gone" "Gone".

The next week was drama free, no trouble from SSM or NSM. Our set went about business as usual and everything was good. During this time, Marleen and I got to know each other well, and I even started to like her. On this sunny Monday, C-Swag had invited Haze and I on a couples' day out with our dates. Naturally Haze invited Elania, so I decided to invite Marleen. The plan was Duck Pond, park, restaurant, then beach; so me and Haze decided leave first and meet Cee at the pond. Haze, Elania, Marleen and I fed the ducks at the pond while waiting for Cee. The duck pond was huge; it was surrounded by trees and the trees by trails. We broke the pieces of bread and fed them to the squabbling ducks on the edge of the pond. I took notice to the fact me and Marleen were matching. I wore a Navy blue Hoodie, blue jeans and black Chucks and she wore a blue zip up sweater, blue shorts and black chucks. I looked over at Haze and Elania to see they were matching too; white tee, blue jeans, and Nikes. This struck me as weird. I walked up behind Marleen as she fed the ducks and wrapped my arms gently around her neck "Look, me and you are matching and Haze and Elania are matching." I whispered to her. She looked up then said "Oh my god, that's crazy." We laughed. I took some bread from her hands and joined her in feeding the ducks. "Cuzz, there's Cee and Cassie." Haze said. Me and Marleen turned around to see Cee and Cassie walking down path toward us. This was the first time I had seen Cassie in person. She was a short Mexican girl the same height as Marleen, with straight brown hair. As they walked up, I couldn't help but smile that we were three awkwardly matching couples. Cee and his girlfriend were both wearing grey shoes, blue jeans, and a black shirt. Cee of course wore his signature grey beanie. Cee walked up to us with an awkward look on his face. He looked at Haze then me "Uhhh…what's so funny?" he asked me. "We're all matching!" Marleen answered for me and started giggling. Haze smirked and looked at Elania "Oh! Look at that hahaha." He laughed. C-Swag shook his head and took a few steps forward "Sooo," He said in a hesitant voice "This is Cassie, Cassie this is Elania, Haze, Manish and Marleen." We all smiled and shook hands with Cassie. "So you want feed the ducks?" Marleen asked. We all split the loaf of bread and began feeding the ducks. It was funny to see them all squawk and squabble over the bread. Haze found it especially funny. While Marleen was distracted feeding the ducks I took a long piece of grass and tickled the back of her neck. When she turned around, I looked away. I did this about three more times and finally she turned around and said "Manish! I'ma get you! Come here!" I laughed as she chased me around in a circle, until I got tired. She grabbed me and tried to tickle me "I know that was you doing that." She giggled. "Okay okay okay, haha just don't tickle me please." I begged. When we got back to the others, I told them the story about when I was a baby I chased a duck all the way into the pond and got in with it. They laughed at me; they thought it was as funny as I did. When we finished all the bread, we went for a walk around the trails. It was scenic; there were yellow and red flowers everywhere that filled the air with a sweet aroma. It went perfectly with the summer air. We all talked with ourselves and were surprised to hear this was Cee and Elania's first time at the pond. Cassie said they picked the perfect day to come, and I agreed. A mother duck and her yellow ducklings crossing the trail to get back to the water stopped our walk. As they waddled across the girls took joy in the ducklings. "Oh my god, they are so cute." Marleen said excitedly. "Babe, look at them!" Cassie told Cee. "Awwww, I want one!" Elania clapped. They were cute, little yellow and brown puffs playing follow the leader. "I remember my brother brought one home for me, then our grandma told us we couldn't keep it." I said. "I remember my brother tried to get one and got attacked by the mom duck." Haze topped. We all laughed; I could picture his brother being chased by ducks. After the ducklings passed, we continued our walk. There was so much to see in such a small pond: frogs, lizards, butterflies, dragonflies and even koi fish. A few other people were walking the trail with us; we smiled politely and let them pass every time they came by. It was nice to there were other people put and enjoying the day. My attention was drawn to Haze and Cee holding their girlfriends' hands and envied them. I wanted to hold Marleen's hand but didn't want to overstep her boundaries. I looked over at her and smiled, she smiled back. We stopped at a bench and rested. Haze and Elania sat on the bench and talked, Cee and Cassie messed with flowers, and I stood looking out at the pond. Every once and awhile the waters blue surface would break when a koi fish would come up for air. Marleen came and stood next to me "What's on your mind?" she asked. I shook my head "Nothing. I haven't been here in awhile so I'm enjoying it." I really hadn't. With the current activities in my life, I rarely got the time to do the stuff I truly enjoyed. So I let this soak in. Marleen bumped me with her hip "Well you're here with me so you can enjoy it more." She said with a smile. She was right, and it made me happy. "You're right," I answered "Come on." She put her arm under mine and we walked back to the others, arm in arm. Cassie was kind enough to make us all flower bracelets with the yellow and white flowers her and Cee picked. The girls wore theirs but we were reluctant to wear ours. "Man, I didn't pick these flowers for nothing, you niggas better wear them." Cee complained. Me and Haze looked at each other and decided it wouldn't hurt to wear them .We walked around awhile and enjoyed the pond longer until we decided to leave after being chased away by a flock of geese that Haze pissed off.

We walked to Windy Top Park. Windy Top Park was a relatively big park with a blue and green themed playground. It was filled with slides; sliding rails, monkey bars, a rock wall and even a teeter-totter. Immediately after getting there, we engaged in a game of Tag. We ran around and played for about 45 minutes the got tired. I stopped and pulled Cee aside to talk to him "Uh, does Cassie know you're a Crip?" I asked. He looked back to make sure she wasn't around "No, she knows you're a Crip, why?" he asked. "Cuz I don't think Marleen knows I am." "What makes you say that?" "I don't know she seems…oblivious to it." "I guess it's a good thing they don't know." "Yeah I guess so." That question was one that stayed in my head for a while. I wondered if she knew I was a Crip, would her feelings change. When we went back to everyone one Cassie and Marleen had a big smile on her face and Haze shook his head. "You guys are going to push us on the swings." Cassie demanded. We agreed. The girls got in the swings and we began to push them. Marleen was extremely light, so light I had to push softer than I was. "Having fun?" I asked. She nodded yes in response. Out the corner of my eye, on the other side of Cee, I noticed Haze had stopped pushing Elania. Cee caught my attention and shook his head. This meant they were fighting again, as they often did. We continued pushing the girls trying to ignore the awkwardness of Haze and Elania being still, until Elania got out the swing and walked toward the playground. We all turned our heads and looked at Haze who shook his head and followed her, "What's wrong?" Cassie asked Cee. "Nothing, they do this all time." I answered. "Yeah" Cee agreed. "That's horrible." Marleen remarked. "What?" Cee asked. "That they always fight." She answered. "It's more like argue," I said "give it a few minutes and they will make up." "Forreal." Cee scoffed. "Be nice!" Cassie told him. We all got quiet and watched as Haze and Elania talked quietly amongst themselves. Their conversation ultimately ended with them kissing and walking back to us holding hands. "Told you." I said under my breath. They made their way back slowly through the sand. Marleen jumped off the swing just as they reached us and ran onto the jungle gym. "Manish, come catch me!" she teased. I was still tired and didn't want to run after her "I don't wanna run!" I called. She stuck her tongue out and stood by the slide. "I'll be back." I sighed to Cee. She continued to taunt me as I got closer. I got half way up the jungle gym she slid down the slide to escape. I hopped over the edge and raced to the bottom of the slide, meeting her there. "Gotcha!" I grabbed her and flung her over my shoulder; she was really light, it wasn't just the swing. She laughed uncontrollably. "Come on Mama, I'm taking you back to the swing." When we got over to the swings, Haze was looking at me funny. "So," he said with a smile "are you guys going out?" Embarrassment flushed over me, words wouldn't leave my mouth. It was only a split second that he didn't get a response then Marleen answered "We will, eventually." Her answer brought relief to me. I nodded in agreement; I liked Marleen. "I think you should date." Haze stated. "Yeah you guys are cute together." Cassie agreed. "So are you and Cee, how long have you guys been together?" I asked. "11 months." Cee answered, wrapping his arms around her waist. They were a proud couple, I could tell. However, it was a wonder why he never brought her around, she was really nice. They were so different but that made them perfect together; all three couples were different from their partners. It was amazing how different we were but we all connected. We talked a little longer then went to play on the playground. It wasn't long before we all had a show of Cee chasing Cassie in an excellent display of their Track skills. It had turned out Cassie took Cee's beanie and he was chasing her to get it back. There was a balancing beam that used to show off my "ninja skills" Chunk and I often practiced in the apartments. This entailed crawling around, climbing trees, running swiftly, and hiding in shadows. Haze and Elania sat and conversed between themselves quietly, unless Haze would converse with someone else. We each did our own thing, but didn't stray far from each other. Pretty soon we all end up on the grass field, staring up at the clouds. We were all lost in our own worlds. We were living a life away from life; a life that was more peaceful than Cassie or Marleen knew. What seemed like an hour went by then Haze said "I'm getting hungry, are you guys ready to go eat?" We all agreed, got up and left. It took us the whole walk back to the Central Marin to decide between Japanese and Chinese food and we decided Chinese. We ate at Lee's Garden, a Chinese food restaurant a block up from Seacrest Street. It was a very nice restaurant decorated with Chinese paintings and cherry blossoms, the feel and atmosphere was perfect. This had always been my favorite Chinese restaurant to eat at ever since I was little. The food was always good, service perfect, and reasonably priced. We ordered and ate Won-Ton Soup, Chow Mien, Beef and Broccoli, and Mandarin Chicken. The highlight of our time at the restaurant was when the waitress, who was maybe 70 years old, said "You know our food is THE bomb, I bet you'll you will keep coming back for this shit. Feel me?" in a Mandarin accent. We had all found that hilarious. We closed dinner with Chinese Passion Fruit flavored Ice Cream. When we left it was close to sun set to we headed for the beach.

We took our shoes off and climbed the tall sand dunes to get to the top and watch the sunset. The sand was hot beneath our feet and the walk difficult. We got to the top and travelled over a few dunes to a spot covered in pale beach grass. The warm air was fresh with the gentle sea breeze. I sat in the soft grass, and Marleen sat sideways between my legs. C-Swag and Cassie sat to my right and Elania and Haze to theirs'. There was no one else on the beach, everyone else had left. I ran my fingers through Marleen's curly hair. She smelled good like sweet fruit; she looked up at me. Her gaze was soft and innocent; it made me wonder what she was thinking. I stopped playing in her hair and wrapped my arms around her. In silence we watched the calm cold waves push and pull the sandy beach shore. Soon the sun began to set. An orange haze settled over the moving sea. Half of a glowing radiant orb loomed on the water's horizon, reflecting off every crashing wave. The sky was melting into a gorgeous display of colors as the night slowly fought its way in. Orange, red, pink, violet, and dark blue lit the sky with fiery colors. The night was winning, pushing the warm sun into the ocean. Over the brilliant display, a beautiful night sky made its way down. The fire died down as the midnight blue water slowly dissolved it in the ocean. It was now a deep dark blue night sky, filled with millions of white flickering stars. We had all laid back and stared up at the sky like we did at the park, but this time with reason. The moon shined down on us, illuminating a silver light on us while the stars winked at us. We settled in from our day. Arrival at the beach was like our rebirth. We climbed up the hot sand dunes to be refreshed and cleansed with a fresh breeze at the top. The sunset celebrated the new life, nightfall settled us in and the moon blessed us. It was more than amazing. We star gazed at the millions of beautiful stars. Next to me, the two couples began to kiss and become intimate. Soon Cee and Cassie got up and ran to our left over to another dune. The Haze and Elania got up and went away further right down the dune. I sat up; me and Marleen were now alone. She stood up and sat between my legs again, laying her back on my chest. My heart beat echoed through my chest and pounded her back. I wrapped my arms around her to keep her warm. The sound of the waves created natural ambiance under the star lit sky. I intertwined her fingers with mine and held her tighter. Everything seemed to have aligned. She released her right hand and soon I felt her small hand pull my head toward hers. She turned her head to me and I kissed her. Her lips were small and soft. It was right. She left go of my head and took my hand again. We continued kissing. Everything was right, everything had aligned.

"Aye keep it pushing Dee!" I called out. The next morning me and Haze watched Dee, Trevon, Cee and Chunk play basketball. "Shut up!" she snapped back. She took off her sweaty cut-off tee and threw it in my face. "Ew, what the fuck Dee!" I complained and everyone laughed. "Put a damn shirt on! No one wants to see you running around in your sports bra!" I told her. It was funny to see Chunk bob and weave under everyone and make the shots. Dee and Cee were serious about the game; Trevon and Chunk were just having fun. I guess that was because Cee and Dee were athletes. It was fun to spend time with the people closest to me.

News; Past; Present until the Future

C-Swag and I walked to Braid's house for a block report. Ever since the night we had taken our revenge everything seemed calm, but I didn't know for sure. Braid filled us in on the report. "Everything's dry. Nothing new other than the Southerners are missing." We nodded, this was good news. EQC held our place. "But NSM wants an answer for you guys disrespecting their street sign. I guess they want a 'backyard boogie'. You know how Mexicans are." I didn't see this coming; in fact I completely forgot that Cee had thrown an apple at the Owen Street sign. What they were asking was reasonable though. I looked at Cee to see what he thought. "I really don't care, Cuzz. They wanna fight, we can fight." He remarked. "Yeah, just uh tell their O.G. we'll go ahead and handle that at The Trees." I told Braid "but after that, tell them the beef between EQC and NSM is over." "Aight. Did you guys hear about the kid that got shot in Sucio? They said he from AAC, he got shot by the Bloods out there." This caught my attention, the Bloods actually shot someone. "Hmmm. I wonder if they'll retaliate." Cee said. It was possibility but we knew they wouldn't. AAC never really bothered with anyone because they made the most money and had all the guns. "Can you find out who it was?" I asked. Braid nodded "Yeah and lemme get on this fight with the Nortes." He said. We said our farewells and headed back to my house. When we got back to my building Haze was on the steps smoking a cigarette, waiting for us. "You didn't go in?" I asked. C-Swag, Dee, Haze, and Trevon had a key to get in my house whenever they wanted. They were the ones I trusted in my house when I wasn't there. "Oh! No. I just got here and decided to smoke a cig." Me and Cee shook hands with Haze. I sat a step above him because I didn't like the smell of cigarette smoke. "Where you guys coming from?" He asked. "We were getting a block report from Braid." Cee answered. "Now I'm bout to call Bear." I told them. While I was on the phone they talked to each other. "Hello?" "What cracking, Bear?" "What's good, cuzz?" "I had meant to ask you. What happened to Juice?" There was a quick pause then Bear chuckled and answered "That nigga knew the rules of the apartments. You aren't supposed to lock the door and no weapons, he broke those two rules. So in addition to guys beating his ass, we had to punish his stupid ass too." "What did you guys do to him?" "We beat his ass. That ugly ass nigga has to sit in his room with no drugs for two months." "Awww cuzz. He's gunna be in some pain too huh?" "Its' gunna be more pain than that ass beating haha." "You guys don't just kick him out?" "No, so he can take the drugs to the streets? If we do that we don't make money and the heavy shit gets on the streets." This made sense. If the tweekers did their drugs out on the streets and not in the Halls of Hell, the heavy drugs would be out in the town. "Yeah, that's true. Anyways cuzz, I just wanted to ask." "Oh! I heard you guys handled those Southsiders. Hahaha." "Yeah well, they got out of hand, nigga." "Hahahaha, alright cuzz." "Aight cuzz, gone." When I got off the phone Haze was looking at me. "Juice? Like Juice the Black Norte from Sucio?" He asked me. I looked at Cee then answered "Uh, yeah." "Oh I know that nigga," Haze said "I gave his a place to stay when he was homeless." This caught me by surprise, I never knew that. "Forreal?" I asked. "Yeah, but fuck him. He did me dirty." "What happened?" "We were weighing out some weed at the park and he didn't even tell me the police pulled up. He just grabbed his shit and dipped out." Haze told me. "Well," Cee sighed "we beat that nigga up for you." This made me think back to when we ran into the room and tossed him around, then imagine the Samoans stomping him out. I laughed. "I don't even know why that nigga is a Norte, he's Black." Haze said in disgust. Me and Cee laughed, this was hilarious. "Circumstances, I guess." I answered. Most the time we seen a Black person in a Mexican gang is when the Black person was half Mexican, but Juice was full Black. "That nigga has problems." Cee said shaking his head. Haze and I agreed. "Let's go inside and play Super Smash Brothers." I said. We all went inside and posted on the couch playing Super Smash Brothers. C-Swag spent most of the time complaining about me winning all the fights; I told him it was pure skills. We played for about 30minutes then Haze needed a cigarette break. When he stepped outside me and Cee ran in the kitchen and looked for something to eat. I found some beef jerky and Cee made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We sat back down and enjoyed our food while staring at a paused game. "You're really butthurt I keep winning huh?" I asked. "Yes! Cuz you like cheat or something, nigga!" he said. I stared at him trying to hold my laugh in but then I couldn't help it. We both began laughing. "Don't laugh nigga the shit ain't funny. Me and Haze cant' win even if we tried." He complained. "That ain't my fault, cuzz." I responded. He put his hand on my shoulder "C'mon nigga, just let me win one round." He asked. My phone started to ring "Yea right." I told him as I answered my phone. "Fuck you nigga." He laughed. I answered my phone without checking who it was. "Hello?" "Hey Manish." It was Marleen. "What's up Mamas? How are you" I asked, I had forgot to text her that morning. "I'm great. What are you doing?" "I'm hanging out with C-Swag and Haze, yourself?" Cee had gotten up to get more food. "I'm here taking care of my sibling. Haha what are you doing this weekend?" "I have an event to go to this Saturday but I'm not going anything Sunday. You wanna hang out?" "Yeah! I was gunna ask that! Haha, how'd you know?" "Well I wanna hang out with you so I planned on asking you anyways." "Aww you really want to hang out?" "Yes Mama, I want to see you." "Aww that's sweet." "I had fun with you Monday, it was really nice." "I had fun with you too, especially at the beach. The sunset was so pretty. It was like so many pretty colors." "Mhm, I love that part of the beach. It's always been my favorite." At this point I noticed that Cee had finished making and eating his second sandwich and Haze still hadn't come in. "Uhhh Babe, is it okay if I call you tonight, we have to check on Haze." "Okay, don't forget!" "I won't Mama. Muah, bye." "Muah, bye." Immediately after hanging up the phone I looked at Cee. "It takes the average person 7 minutes to smoke a cigarette. That nigga has been out there longer." We were about to get up to check on Haze when he came waking through the door shaking his head. "We were just about to go out there and check on you." I told him. He looked pissed off. "Man, Cuzz. What the fuck is Powder's problem?" Haze asked "Why? What the fuck he do?" I asked, mad. "I was sitting there smoking a cigarette, you feel me and that nigga came up outta no where talking bout 'Why the fuck didn't you join AAC? You're Asian aren't you?' I told him 'I'll join where ever the fuck I want, why does it matter to you?' then that nigga started to get crazy with me." He told us. This pissed me off. Powder wouldn't say shit like that to me so he opened his mouth to one of my little homies. "Fuck that. Is that nigga still outside?" I got up and was ready to go outside. "Naw he walked off". Just as Haze finished his sentence, my front door opened. Dee walked in and into the kitchen. Without a word to us, she went into the cabinet and began shuffling around. After a few minutes we heard a crunch as she bit into something, then she walked out of the house chewing on something. We stood there in silence then Cee said "Awkward. No 'hi' or 'bye'." I shrugged "Oh well. Anyways, don't worry cuzz. We'll get punkass Powder." Cee looked at me then at Haze then me again "Nigga, did you not just see Dee come in and eat you food without saying a word?" Cee asked. Haze and I laughed at Cee and we started playing video games again. After about another 30mintues we got bored and switched to Resident Evil. I listened as Haze and Cee began talking about Haze's stepdad. He almost was snooping around Haze's room and almost found Haze's pistol and his weed under his mattress. Haze got so mad he actually pulled the pistol out on Mr. Steve. It cause a big fight in his house but his mom took his side and made Mr. Steve stay out in SeaBlue City for the night. It caught me by surprise that his mom actually kicked the old man out, cause whenever there was a fight Haze would end up at my house. Regardless to that fact, I still liked his mom. It was like my friend Nicci from Sucio, who's parents didn't like me because I 'put their family in danger'. It didn't make sense because her family didn't know me, and neither did anyone else out there. This always made me skeptical with parents, especially female's parents. They always judged me before getting to know me, and that caused problems. Haze never had that problem though; parents always seemed to like him. Cee told Haze that his mom probably needed to time to adjust because she and Steve had just married. While they talked I thought back to when I first met Haze and Cee.

I was at school in Sucio. I rarely went into the back of the school but my girlfriend and homegirl wanted to walk through the whole school that day so we did. We got to the basketball courts and some kids were gambling. While looking over at the crowd, I guess Haze had seen my blue bandana and decided to bang on me. He turned away from the crowd and stacked set signs I didn't understand, in response I threw up the C. After that we would talk on an occasional basis and more after he walk with me on my way home one day. Turned out like me, he was from Marin; just he went to Sucio for school. At that time he was from Samoan Family Mob, or just Samoan Mob, although it occurred to me strange that he was Filipino in a Samoan gang, I never thought too much off it. It was soon found out his "joining" Samoan Mob was a set up by his to get his money and use him for dirty work. On top of that after a misunderstanding with Bear's older brother, he was after Haze's life. Haze had warned Bear's older brother about the girl he was dating, and Bear's older brother took it the wrong way. After cutting all ties with his "big homie" (who had set him up) and talking Bear's brother out of his hatred for Haze, I had literally saved Haze's life. Because sure enough, the one night I had met bear's older brother, he had a rifle and was looking for Haze. When I moved back to Marin I put him on EQC and made him my little homie. As I started spending more time in Charnell apartments with my cousins, Haze would hang out with us and bring along Cee. After a few months of kicking it with him I gave him his name and put him on the set. From then on they were my crew.

I toned back into reality and away from the game when my phone rang. It was Braid. "Hello?" "Aye cuzz." "Yeah." "The fight will be today at 5." The phone beeped because Dee was in the other line. "Aight. We'll be there. Lemme hit you right back." "Aight. Gone." I clicked over to Dee. "Hello?" "Manish!" "Yes Dee?" "I was wondering can I spend the night tomorrow night?""What's tomorrow night? Thursday?" "Yeah." "Yea, I don't know why you're asking. You know you can spend the night whenever you want." "Okay! Thank you!" then she hung up. "Again, no kinda 'bye'." C-Swag remarked. "You heard her?" I asked. "Yes, she's hecka loud, nigga." Cee laughed. It didn't bother me Dee didn't say bye, it was no big deal. "Did you hear Braid?" I asked them. They both replied no. "You guys are some shitty niggas. He said the fight is at 5." I told them. Haze asked 'what fight?' and we told him about the fight. "So do they want you and Cee or me and Cee because it was me and him who originally kicked them out?" I shrugged, "I don't know, we'll find out when we get there." I answered. We continued playing video games then completely stopped when we got bored and started to watch TV. We got into a huge debate about why 2Chainz, Lil Wayne and Drake were trash rappers. Then Haze when on a rant about how he was better than all three of them combined. We argued more when I randomly added that I didn't like Tech N9ne or Tyler the Creator. Half way through the argument Haze got up to get food and argued from the kitchen. The argument went from rappers to clothes then a discussion about food. Pretty soon it was 4:45 and we had to leave the house for the fight. I called Braid and asked what we were to do about the fight. He told us to leave our guns at home, meet up at his house, and then he'd go with us to The Trees. Haze was hesitant to leave his gun but he did, Cee did as well. I started to leave my gun, but my distrust for the Northerners compelled me to keep it without their knowledge. After locking up, we left the house, met up with Braid and left. We went south down Sunrise Ave, turned left and went east down Hillcrest street past Owen to The Trees. When we got to the school park, there were 6 Nortenos, two of their girlfriends, Breaker Loc, and EQC member Blu-Roll, who was Samoan and Puerto Rican. Two of the Nortes were the two me and Cee had banged on with their girlfriends. The most muscular but shortest Norteno step out of their group and shook hands with Braid. He looked about Braid's age. "What's cracking?" Braid greeted. "What up, G?" The Norte greeted back. Braid introduced himself to the Northerners; in turn the tallest Norte introduced himself as Solid Locz. Then introduced the other O.G. IV and their homies; Zippers, Tailz Locz, Ratt Locz and Arrow. It was Tailz and Ratt that we had had the previous altercation with. Their girlfriends were glaring at us with hatred. Braid introduced me, Haze, and C-Swag. While words were exchanged with Braid and the O.G.s, my partners huddled to talk to each other. Some part of me didn't want this fight to happen because violence bred hatred and hatred more violence. It would've been an endless cycle. Though it seemed there would be no other way than "their way" as much as I didn't like it. I looked over at the girlfriends who were still glaring at us; their eye manifested the hate, and the fight would fuel the fire. My eyes left them to the street where I seen Dee and Chunk coming across the field towards us. "What are they doing here?" I thought. Without thinking about the current situation, I began walking toward them to greet them. I took maybe 10 steps when behind me, I heard the words "Pinche chino". Haze and one of the females began to argue you. I turned around to see Breaker holding Cee back and Roll holding Haze and IV holding Ratt and his girlfriend. I started to make my way back to grab Haze, but Cee broke free and launched his attack. A perfectly aimed haymaker smashed Ratt's nose. There was a storm of words, everyone was yelling and screaming. It was like watching a slow motion movie. As Ratt's body was flung backward and blood sprayed from his nose, there only a moment of delay before Zippers and Tailz began to retaliate. I started to rush in when Chunk jetted past me. He got between Cee and his opponents, and repelled both Northerners with a butterfly kick. A panic rushed over me now that Chunk was in the middle of it all. My instinct was to protect to my nephew while in the battlefield. I got between him and who was now my opponents and drew my pistol on them. Imediately IV pulled a sawn off shotgun and pointed it at me. My heart dropped. "I swear to fucking God; I will waste a clip into anyone who comes near my nephew." I warned, my hand were shaking.The barrel was aimed at Tailz; with IVs double barrel pointed at me. Ratt was on his knees; his hands were drenched in blood from his nose. "Ey what the fuck, homie? Braid we said no gats." IV demanded He took a step closer to me. Braid put his huge hand on my shoulder. "What the fuck Manish, I told you no guns nigga!" he complained. He was mad. I glanced back and seen Haze had four large gashes in his neck. Further behind the group Dee slowly made her approach. "That bitch scratched me!" Haze said pointing at Ratt's girlfriend. "That puto broke my nose!" Ratt whined pointing at Cee. "Manish, put the gun down!" Braid demanded. There was too much yelling for me to think clearly. Behind me, Dee pulled Chunk away from the altercation. I stood, gun pointing in the direction of Ratt, with Tailz and Zippers next to him, and behind them the O.G.s holding their girlfriends behind them. The girls remained silent now. Behind me Braid was trying to take my gun, C-Swag stood prepared, and Breaker and Roll held Haze back. I didn't want to let go of the gun, my heart was pounding. It took awhile for me come back to my senses. Now that Chunk was no longer in the battlefield, I released the clip to my gun, put into my pocket and lowered my gun. Everyone eased up a little. "Manish, what the fuck are you doing, Cuzz? I said no fucking guns!" Braid asked. Truth was I had no clue what I was doing, it was pure instinct. "I don't care what happened, if someone hit my nephew they would've been killed." I said coldly. I wanted to make that crystal clear. "You fucked up ey. We told your stupid asses no fucking guns." Zippers snarled. I had a flash back to when we had took our revenge on the Surenos. "This fight isn't going to happen. I'm Haze's and Cee's big homie, what I say goes. You banged on us, we banged back, your girlfriend scratched Haze, and Cee broke his nose. It's even. This beef is done. Between us and between Earthquake Crips and Northsidin Marin. We're letting it go." I talked straight through to the Norteno O.G.s. IV put his gun is his jacket. Haze was breathing heavily behind me. "My bad for pulling the gun, but with my nephew in the fight, it was unavoidable." IV and Solid Locz smiled, this was a sign they understood why I pulled the gun. They laughed. "What do you think about that IV? We're calling it off." Blu Roll called out. "It's good, homie, we would've done the same thing with family in the line of fire. We would've reacted same way. The beef is over. Shake on it." Solid instructed. All their homies hesitated and their girlfriends protested. "You guys fighting started all of this shit." Solid stated "We should end it without fighting." As quickly as it all started, it ended. Braid made us shake hands with the Northerners, and we all called a mutual truce. Solid Locz and IV sent the little homies and their girlfriends home. Breaker and Blu Roll stayed with Braid and O.G.s to discuss reparations. Haze and Cee walked to his house. Even though we had shook hands with the Nortenos, Haze wasn't going to let it go, and I didn't blame him. But for the day, this issue was dead and I would discuss it was him next day. I went back to Dee's car where they awaited me. "What was all that about?" Dee asked. I took a long deep breath to gather myself. "It was supposed to be a fight to end the beef between us and the Nortes. But I guess when I went to meet up with you, the Norte's girlfriend scratched Haze. So Cee broke her boyfriend's nose and Chunk stopped them from jumping Cee." I glared back at Chunk for a quick moment, letting. "I guess its good he's Tae Kwon Do black belt then huh?" Dee remarked. "Yeah but that was a dispute between older niggas. He could've got hurt." I snapped at him "Next time don't fucking come out to the middle of a fight." "Well they were fighting, I'm a part of Earthquake too!" he complained. "You didn't know what was going on, they could've shot you!" I fired back. He remained quiet because he knew I was right. Secretly I was proud of him; he took on two grown men and showed he had the guts to. This feat amazed me, and I was truly impressed. He was almost an exact replica of me and I knew I could leave and depend on him to take my position. I love Chunk and I'm willing to die for him. "Well did it at least end good?" Dee interjected. I nodded and told her what happened. The outcome was slightly what different than I wanted but just as good. The least amount of violence with a positive outcome. I preferred no violence but beggars can't be choosers. "Hey are you guys hungry?" I asked them. "I am!" Chunk said excited. "Come on. Let's go get something to eat and I'll get you guys some ice cream."

Before, when I was younger, I idolized the stories my brother would tell me of the 80's gang life. His war stories of shootouts and robberies in SeaBlue. The money, women, cars, power, cars and clothes. I idolized it all. But as my brother became absent in my life and I grew older my views changed. I didn't believe in using violence to get what you want, I didn't believe in unnecessary violence at all. What made anyone better than anyone else to let them damage or destroy the life of others? There was no answer. I was against violence and letting the gang life take over one’s life. All kids did was try to act more hard than they were, and that was their reason for joining a gang. I was against letting it change who we were as people. People lost their humanity to gain power from fear. But fear, just like violence, could breed hatred. I sought the respect of being real. Being a real person, and being my real self. When I joined Earthquake Crips, I made it clear to everyone that's what I wanted. I wanted the respect for me being real. My brother taught me it's impossible to gain true respect by fear or violence. So I didn't look to scare or hurt people for my respect and I stuck to that.

Show Yourself

Saturday came along and Dee took me, C-Swag, Alexx, and Chunk to see Haze and Beat Seekerz compete at the Stylez Competition. The competition took place at a small sports center on the northside of Sucio. I called Flex while we were in the car on our way the there "You guys are there right?" I asked "Yeah, man, we're here." "Is Haze there too?" "Uhh yeah, I just seen him right now but he walked off. I don't know where he went." "Well when you see that nigga tell him to answer his damn phone." "Alright man, later." "Gone." When the conversation ended I told everyone they were there. Sucio was dangerous, you could get shot while being shot for no reason so we all wore neutral colors. When we got the Sports Center, I instantly took notice that it was full of police. We parked and got out. While standing by the car a promoter walked by and handed us a flier. It said the dance part of the competition would start first then the rap start after. When everyone was ready we all walked up to the door, got checked by security was let in. It was a huge gym with bleachers that made a semicircle around both sides of the gym. There were hundreds of people, most looked like dancers, hype beasts, or swag kids. Everyone was walking around and talking before the competition started "There's a lot of people here." Dee said. We all agreed. It wasn't what I expected, Shogun said there would be a lot of Nortenos, but I didn't see any. "Cee take Chunk and look around." I told C-Swag, I wanted to look around on my own. We all decided to go separate ways and meet up 10mins before the competition started to get seats. My instincts told me to look for people I knew during my time in Sucio. There were a lot of dance crews talking and random rap battles happening, but nothing of too much interest to me. Most of the dance crews were Asian kids with spots or sprinkles of Black or White kids. And the rappers were almost all Black except a few Mexicans. It was just how I remembered it from high school. As I walked along a group of rappers, a girl in a purple sweater watching them caught my attention. I slowly made my way through the crowd closer trying to get a closer look at her. She noticed me before I noticed her. "Manish!" she called out. It was my homegirl T-Mac. "Hey Tee!" We hugged. She was a friend from high school, a 19 year old Black girl." Oh my god, I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you?" she asked. "I'm good, just here to watch Haze in the rap competition." "Really? He's gunna rap? I can't wait to see that." She replied. "Yeah, he's always rapped remember? What brought you here?" I asked. "I'm here to watch them do whatever they are doing. Did you see Nicci? She's here!" she told me. This excited me. Nicci was one of my best friends until her and I lost contact. "Foreal? Lemme go find her. Text you ina bit." I said. "I see how it is." She joked before hugging me and walking off. I waded through groups of people looking for Nicci. Not knowing what she was wearing wasn't helping my bad eyesight. Soon I came to a group of rapping Filipinos; I noticed they all wore red Pirates hats. They were Dark Ways Piru. I briefly debated whether I should stop and fuck with them or not and decided to. I knew one of them, his name Bell, and he would be my excuse. I walked into the middle of their rap battle, interrupting it, and shook Bell's hand with the Crip shake. "What's crackin', Cuzz?" I said loud. This was a Haze move. I was in the dead middle of their circle; I was an open target. I could feel their stares burning through me, they remained silent. I had successful disturbed all of them. When I turned around to leave their circle, I made eye contact with all of them then continued my search. It was pretty funny how they didn't know how to react to me. After awhile I ran into an old homie named Vemon's Tongue who was a skilled lyricist. We talked for a good long while then he asked "Wanna hear something I've been working on?" I nodded in agreement He smiled "Come bust a flow, and we can see who runs The crew's like The Hulk on rampage, ragin', can't you see? I murder stars like Galactus erasing galaxies, Amazing Fantasy As spectacular as Spider-Man, but they call me Venom Tongue. I hex raps at ya rhymers and ya'll amazed when I'm done. 9Tre, we bust with fumes and lighters, come out spewin' fire Young Respect thinks he's dope but he's a putrid liar. My crew's armed like human spiders, no need for heater sparkers swingin' at you like Peter Parker, 'cause we beef with bars first Any rapper that steps to us will nearly drop dead and tell his crew he got shredded, by some dude as hotheaded as 'Ghost Rider', but I ain't need one 'cause my flow's tighter Even Pyro and Jean Grey will tell you I'm bustin' the most fire. Yet to say I stole the scene but I'm as sharp as Wolverine, I'll make you hold your spleen, I'll battle dope Emcees, They get smoked like the Human Torch tryna hold a tree. My style's so rugged it leaves you blistered, I rap sick. Bitches stand back quick! I 'rapped' around you like Mr. Fantastic." He gassed. "Damn nigga, what the fuck? You're a fuckin' beast!" I said. He smiled, Vemon had always been a humble guy with the knowledge of a genius. "Hey weren't you looking for Nicci?" He reminded me. "Oh shit, yeah!" After we shook hands, I bid him farewell and continued my search for Nicci. There was so many people that the feeling of despair started to set in. There were so many Asians and a lot of them looked like Nicci. After about 10 more minutes of looking, I gave up and decided to call Haze and tell him about the Bloods. I exited a side door and turned to see Nicci's dad talking to another cop. "Fuck." I whispered. I didn't want him to see me; if he knew I was there he would keep Nicci from me. Immediately I turned around, walked through the door and ran into someone. "Ouch." She said in a calm voice. "Oh my god, Nicci I'm sorry!" I said hugging her "I missed you!" and hugged her tighter. "I missed you too haha. You're squishing me." She laughed. I stepped back and looked at her. She was still the cute Guamanian and Vietnamese girl I remembered. "Umm let's go this way cuz your dad is out there." I said nervously. The thought of her dad catching us talking was unsettling. "Yeah, let's go that way." She said. We walked back into the crowd of people and started to talk. "So what were you doing behind me?" I asked. "I seen you and I called out your name but you didn't turn around so I followed you. What are you doing here?" she asked. "I'm to watch Flex's group dance and Haze rap. What about you?" "Oh they're here? Oh I'm here cuz my dad brought me." "Ohhh, I see. So how are you? I missed you!" I said slapping her shoulder. "I'm okay. I missed you too." "Yeah, cuz we all know, me and you can't talk" I said referring to the fact her family didn't like me. "Again with this?" She asked irritated. Nicci didn't like when I brought up that her family didn't like me; I thought it was stupid prejudice. Her parents really believed I would've got their house shot up by her hanging out with me. It was ridiculous. Regardless to that fact, Nicci was still my best friend and that didn't come between our friendship. "Yeah, whatever. You don't know anyone here?" I asked as we walked through the crowds. "Yeah I know a few people. My cousin's dance crew is here so yeah." She answered. "Oh. Do you still sing?" I asked "Yeah but only for my YouTube videos." She said. Nicci was a talented singer; better than most amateur singers her age. I had always been in love with her voice. "Really? I'ma have to look those up when I get home. My Nicci Baby can sing." I said. She laughed. We walked and talked for a while, remembering our times in class together and jokes we had made. It kind of made me miss being younger with fewer worries. I guess that's how it felt getting older but it felt good reuniting with someone from my younger days. Dee called me and told me that they were getting seats and I should hurry to meet them. I asked Nicci if she would like to sit with us but she denied my offer, stating if her dad seen her she wouldn't hear the end of it. We said bye and we'd see each other again. I called T-Mac and met up with her; together we met with Dee, Cee, Chunk and Alexx, found seats and waited for the tournament to start. "I bet you I can dance better then all of those dancers out there." Chunk boasted. He was actually a really good dancer "I'm sure you're a better dancer than a lot of the people we'll see today." I told him. "You jealous cuz you can't dance?" Cee remarked two seats over. "Nigga fuck you." I laughed. "You guys are crazy." T-Mac added. "Try spending the night with them." Dee told Tee. "You still do it anyways!" I teased. "Yeah, she snores LOUD." Chunk laughed. We all began to laugh. I didn't know if it was true or not because I always fell asleep before her, but I believed it. "At least she don't fart all night like there's something's wrong with her." Cee shot at Chunk. We laughed harder. After a few more minutes of joking the host came out to the middle of the gym. "Okay everyone this is the second annual Stylez Competition hosted by me, SuperDef Ray. Here's last year's winner and my Co-Host, Vemon's Tongue. Winners get signed to my label SuperDef ENT and get free promotion, videos, and studio time! So without further delay, here are our dance groups!" I knew Ray. He was a close friend when I stayed in Sucio, Black and Puerto Rican like me. He was a DJ, rapper, and producer trying to start a label and it looked like he had great success. Vemon's Tongue was standing next to him and scoping out the audience. The dance crews came out, got on the mic, and introduced themselves. When Beat Seekerz came out we went crazy then "aww'd" when they left. There were 30 crews. It wasn't long before the dance competition started. A lot of the dance crews were impressive. Beat Seekers won the Dance Competition against an almost all Asian choreography dance crew hand s down. We cheered and screamed when they were declared the winners. Our friends had won; we were all super happy. During the 20minute intermission I went and found Nicci and discussed the different dance crews. I tried not to laugh when she told me her cousin's crew lost their first round because I knew it would hurt her feelings. After our conversation I called Haze and Beat Seekerz to see what was going on back stage. They said the dance crews were going to stay backstage until the Rap Competition was over and Haze was ready for that. I congratulated them for winning then wished Haze good luck. Right after I hung up, I got the idea to go find Ray and talk with him. Nicci declined my invite for this so I set off on my own. The search was cut short when the 20minute intermission ended. This time around Nicci decided to sit with me, despite her dad being there. When we all sat back down I introduced Nicci to Dee and Alexx, since she knew everyone else. "Hey Nicci!" T-Mac made her presence known to Nicci. "Hey Tee." She replied. "Tee, Dee, Cee, I'm surprise none of us have gotten confused yet." Alexx said. "Seriously." C-Swag added. "Shut the hell up ugly ass nigga!" I snapped at him. Chunk began to laugh uncontrollably. "You too, short ass nigga!" I told Chunk. We all began laughing. "Shut up or I'll have Nicci eat your dog." Chunk said. "I don't eat dogs. They're too salty." Nicci responded jokingly. "You guys are gross." Tee remarked. "Not grosser than Dee's extension coming out of her purse and attacking me." I laughed. She responded to this by punching me so hard I almost lost my breath. Soon the Rap part of the competition started. There were 40 rappers, all freestyling their own styles. Haze ripped through all his opponents till he hit the finals where he was against another Filipino. "This is everything goes, all rules goes off, 12 bars," Ray instructed "We'll flip a coin to see who goes first. Haze what do you call?" "Tails." Ray flipped the coin. "Heads! Spider, you go first. Ready?" The other Filipino nodded his head "GO!" Ray commanded."Wassup yeah it's me again, red ragged hooligan. Go berserk up on yo turf, real pinoy. I'll get you hurt. Give a damn bout how you feel, bro I got soft and a couple of pills And a fully loaded glock, that'll give yo lil homie chills that's fareal. You ain't playing with no soft one, you a .22 fucken around with a shotgun. Snitchin when the cops come, droppin out on yo clique, pussy nigga you a clit. Run up where you live, put a hole in yo wife and snatch yo kids, You don't want that now do you, snatch yo main baitch and choo choo; I'm the black sheep, I'm bad juju." All the Filipinos in the audience went crazy and started cheering, everyone else "ooh'd". "Now watch Haze rip a hole in this nigga." Cee remarked. Ray nodded at the verse Spider spit. After the noise died down, Ray handed Haze the mic, and he went. "Okay now listen, that life you talkin I know you didn't live it. I know real bloods that live in prison, and if they was out here they'd bust yo melon I'm respectable and reputable, yo bitch call me Hulk cuz my sex game incredible. Yeah! He claim he hard, I know he not. He claim to be a Crip killa, let's see how that works out when my niggas bust out the chops and raid yo spot. Block life is what he preachin, but the block life he never seen it. He talking all that good shit, when he seen it, he hoed up, and said 'bruh I didn't mean it.' He apologizing, cuz he know we ridin. Wet a nigga up, pistol on my hip better known as Poseidon. Watch what you say, cuz there are plenty hungry sharks that live off in the Bay. Keep pushin your luck, guaranteed you get stuffed, and snatched up and used for bait! Over." The whole gym went wild. We stood up cheered and clapped. It was more than apparent that Haze won the battle. He got a standing ovation. After about 4 minutes of clapping Ray put up his hand to talk. "Well, it's one undeniable choice. Haze is the winner of the Rap Styles Competition!" We all got up in clapped. The whole center was a storm of clapping and stomping, whooping and hollering. After awhile Ray called for the winning dance crew to come out, and he congratulated both of them. He had them sign a contract to his label then they held it up to everyone. We all cheered again. I looked at my company to make sure everyone was having fun then an idea popped into my head. I pulled out my phone and sent a text Haze, watched him look at his phone and nod. Within due time, Ray excused everyone and we all got up out of the bleachers. No one left everyone stuck around talking to the rappers and the dance crews. Haze texted me to go to the back where rappers and crews waited before their performance. I told Dee and everyone to wait for me, I would be right back, and left to backstage. I dragged a hesitant Nicci along with me, as she was a part of my plan. Immediately we ran into ray and Haze. "Manish, what's good bro?" Ray greeted. "What's good, Cuzz?" I replied. We greeted each other with our own custom handshake from back in the day. "I see you finally got your label together." I told him. "Yeah, it took some time but you know. Once I got everything together, it all fell into place.," He said "So you know Haze?" I looked at Haze and nodded "Yeah, I'm his big homie; I was the one who told him to join the competition." I answered. "Well it was a good thing he did, he's got talent." Ray laughed. He looked at Nicci then at me. "Oh! This is Nicci, Nicci this is Ray." I introduced. They shook hands and greeted each other. "Nicci is a really good singer, you should hear her. She can sing her heart out." I said. Nicci smiled awkwardly, I completely forgot she was shy. "Oh really?" He asked "Well let me hear." Nicci laughed nervously then said "Okay umm..." It took her awhile to decide what she wanted to sing. She cleared her throat then sang I Miss You by Aaliyah. Her voice improved drastically from when we went to school together, I was more than impressed, I was in awe. Haze was shocked as well. When she was done, I hugged her, and Ray said "I like that. I definitely want to work with her." Nicci looked shocked; she didn't expect that answer. "Would you want that?" I asked. "She should, she's good." Haze added. "Thank you. Yeah I would love to!" She thanked excited. We started talking business then me and Ray began talking about the past. He asked about life in Marin. Come to find out, Ray had beaten up Juice before he left Sucio and moved out to Marin. 15minutes passed then I remembered to ask about the Beat Seekers. Ray said they had all went out to the gym to talk to their families then after they would finish their paperwork. Dee called me and told me it was time to go. I bid farewell to Ray and told Haze I'd see him when he got back to Marin with Beat Seekerz. As I left I noticed Vemon was no where to be found again; it was really strange. Me and Nicci hugged and kissed, we promised we'd see each other again, and I left. I waded back through the crowd until I found Dee, Cee, Alexx, T-Mac and Chunk. We all left to the parking lot and waited outside the car for a bit. T-Mac asked Dee for a ride and she agreed. When we were standing outside the car Obese and Shogun came to the to us. We shook their hands and congratulated them. It was amazing how my friends won the competition and against the odds; I was happy for them. I felt like I had some bragging rights since I knew them. Dee and everyone sat in the car while me and half of the Beat Seekers stood behind the car and conversed. "So you guys know anyone here?" I asked. "Naw, in the Rap competition yeah but not in the Dance." Obese answered. "Yeah it was funny cuz you guys couldn't hear it but the dance crews were talking hella shit." Shogun laughed. "For real? Haha well they lost so too bad for them." I said. After a few more minutes of conversation Shogun whispered "Aye, there's some Filipinos tryna walk up looking hard." I turned around and seen the Bloods that were with Bell walking down the car lot toward us. One had his hand in his waistband; he had to be reaching for his gun. "You guys walk away, these are the Bloods" I whispered. Shogun and Obese nodded and walked away. I left my glock in the car and it was 4 against 1. This made me a little bit nervous. They stopped about 5 feet from me and one pulled his pistol. My heart started to race. "What's poppin' B, you a crab?" a short Filipino with braces said with a smirk on his face. I sized all of them up with my eyes "EarthQuake Crip Gang, Cuzz. Fuck a menstrual blood." I snarled. They all chuckled and looked at each other, they knew they had an upper hand. "No, fuck crabs. We kill and eat you motherfuckers." one in the back laughed. It seemed like they had pulled my card, but I wasn't trying to go out like that. "I'd like to see you try." I growled. Two more of them pulled out their guns. The one with braces said "What are you gunna do?" For a moment I was at loss for an answer. I heard a click come from my right. "You guys aren't going to do shit." Chunk was hanging out of the window behind the driver with a sawn off shotgun pointed at my enemies. They froze up. One of their pistols aimed at Chunk. A door on the right side of the car opened and closed and Cee came with a strap pointed at them. He walked next to me and handed me my glock; I raised it to them. Dee opened her door and pointed the her gat over Chunk at the Bloods. 4 against 4, 4 guns against the 3. The moment the Filipinos had walked up I completely forgot that I had a car full of my niggas to back me up. "You guys should probably put your guns away." Dee said cheesy. "You're out numbered." Cee said. "What you guys gon do?" one of the Bloods asked. We all stood they, guns drawn at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. "I think you guys need put those away. The Police are coming." T-Mac said from inside the car. I looked behind Dee to see a police car driving in the next row over. "Chunk, get in the car." Dee said. We all put our guns down, glared at each other then put our guns away and separated. We all got in the car; Alexx and T-Mac just looked at me. Dee laughed and we drove off. On our way to T-Mac's house we conversed."Well that was fun." Dee said. "Yeah it was." I agreed. "Haze beat all those niggas." Chunk added. "I knew he was gunna say something about Crip, I knew he wanted to." Tee said. "Cuz that's all that nigga knows." Cee replied. "At least he can rap." Dee shot. "Yeah, Cee, what can you do?" Tee added. "He be smelling booty." Chunk laughed. "Dee's booty." I whispered. Dee cut me a look threw the rear view mirror. "Dee, you're a bully!" Tee said. "What, why?" Dee asked. "I saw you give him that look." She replied. "Dee will beat your ass." I fired at Cee. "Yeah well Alexx will beat your ass." Cee fired back. "Leave me outta this." Alexx interjected. "You guys should shut up or I'll beat both your asses." Chunk added."Hey! That's my job." Dee complained. "Well you aren't doing your job good enough, pimp." Chunk teased. "She about to beat CHUNK'S ass." I laughed. We all laughed. "Leave him with a broken arm like that one dancer." Alexx said. "Yeah that looked like that hurt." Tee added "he shouldn't have been trying to do flips so fast." Chunk started laughing. "That's why I don't try to do shit like that." Cee remarked. "Nigga, she said rapping not dancing." I said. "'She said rapping not dance' shut the hell up nigga." Cee mocked. "Don't get slapped, bitch." I threatened. "He's just mad cuz he can't dance like me." Chunk boasted. "Well I don't think any of us will be able to dance like that." Alexx decided. "You guys won't, I will." Chunk continued. "Chunk, shut up." I demanded. The rest of the way to Tee's house we argued and joked. When she got out, we all said our goodbyes, and continued our discussion when we left. We continued all the way home to Marin. The day was a success. When I got back home Haze was at my house to discuss the label signing. We discussed it for a bit then I remembered I had taken out steak to cook for dinner. I cooked dinner for Dee and Chunk then called Trevon.

Later that night I met up with Trevon outside Charnell Apartments. "You got the seeds?" I asked him. He pulled out a bag of ranch sunflower seeds "Hell yea, nigga" He laughed. We me and Trevon were kids we would walk across Marin all day; commuting from our Uncle's to our Grandma's to stores, the duck pond, and the beach. That had been a staple in our childhood memories. It was a warm and foggy night and we decided we would walk through the South and West side because was late. "Do you remember that girl that used to come over to grandma’s? What was her name?" I asked Trevon. I was talking about when we were little my dad's girlfriend had a daughter our age that would always be all over us. "Aw shit nigga, I don't even remember." He answered. "Wasn't it like Aubrey or some shit?" I asked. "Aubrey? Nigga what the fuck kinda name was that for a black girl?" He said. We laughed. We walked on the Southside past a house of partying Samoans. The Southside was always dead unless the Polynesians were having family parties; then that particular street would be filled with music. "It was something with an 'a'. Andrea! That was her name!" I remembered. "That was her name huh? Shit I forgot all about her. I wonder how she looks now" "She probably still got those big ass titties." "Forreal. Her titties were big for no reason in Middle School." "Remember when we had to jump out that girl Chelsea's window?" "Nigga yes! The damn gardener knocked on the door right when I was about to fuck that bitch too. I was fucking pissed haha." Those were the days. The days when we and my cousin would walk around town because we didn't have rides, we were young and had no clue what we wanted in life other than money and women. There was no where we wouldn't to get where we would had to. I took the seeds from Trevon and popped a handful into my mouth. We walked past a house under construction; ahead of us I noticed a missing plank in the fence and got an idea. Just as we walked past I grabbed him and said "Boo!" He jumped and swang at the open space in the fence and I cracked up laughing. I laughed so hard I didn't see the gopher hole a, tripped over it, and fell on my side. We both laughed hysterically. Karma bit me in the ass and we both had a laugh about it. After we had calmed down we walked toward the Westside. Finally we got to the main street that separated the Westside from the rest of the town. There used to be a huge bridge that lead over the street from one other that they had torn down not long before. "Damn nigga remember the bridge?" Trevon asked. "Hell yeah, that bridge was the shit." I remembered. "Why'd they even tear it down?" He wondered. "Cuz the city didn't have enough money to continue maintaining it so they tore it down so nothing bad would happen." I answered. He nodded in response, that was always our favorite part of walking across town. Now we had to use a regular cross walk to get to the Westside. Even though Trevon lived on that side of town his whole life; we never really spent much time there. Unless we were going to the beach or the duck pond. We always went to the pond to fed the ducks and all of our old Myspace pictures were taken there. Didn't spend much time in the housing area. We did one night after Christmas time, we ran through peoples lawns and kick over their decorations. "Aye, whens the last time you been to the Dunes?" Trevon asked me. "Not in awhile," completely forgetting I had went with C-Swag, Haze, their girlfriends and Marleen "I don't like going there anymore, last time I was there was with my ex." I mumbled. "I feel you," he said; he was once close to her too, they were like family "but fuck it, we'll go tonight." I honestly didn't want to but I decided to go anyways; it was what we always did. As we walked toward the beach, the smell of the ocean became crisper and the ocean mist denser. It was what our city was known for; the fog. We got to the dunes and climbed to the top and stood looking out at the sea. I took at deep breath; I was relieved I decided to do it, it was a breath of memories. I remembered all of me and Trevon's ventures and they would always end with a night looking out at the ocean. The best times, all of it was memories of why I loved my city.

What If It's The Person Standing Next To You

The next day, I woke up cleaned my house, eat and got ready to see Marleen. I was excited to see her, since I hadn't since the Monday prior. Despite being so occupied, she was on my mind a lot. I got out my tan Lugz, 501s, black tee, and navy blue leather jacket and made sure they were wrinkled. I hopped in the shower and when I got out my cat was on my bed. "Hey Nia, what's up?" I asked her "You hungry?" I went downstairs, got her some tuna, and brought it up to her. "There you go, brat." I petted her as she ate. A lot of people asked why I spoiled her, and I told them all the same thing. She was the certain thing in my life, friends and girlfriends come and go but she'll always be there. I may as well treat her good; she'll never do me wrong. Unless she laid on my clothes and got fur on them. After feeding Nia I got dressed and called Marleen. "Good morning, Beautiful." I greeted. "Hahaha. Good morning, Manish." She replied. "How'd you sleep?" "I slept good." "That's good. Have you eaten breakfast?" "No not yet." "You wanna go and get something to eat?" "Umm…sure! What would you want to eat?" "Well I was thinking of going the Bagel Shop." "That sounds cool. I'll call you when I get there, okay?" "No problem, Mama. See you when you get." "Kay Babe, bye." "Bye Mama." After hanging up I brushed my teeth, got dressed and carried my cat downstairs. "Come on, Nia. Time for you to get the hell out my room." She meowed and I dropped her off. I looked out the window to see the weather; it was a nice sunny day. Nia sat on the couch next to me, purring, trying to get me to pet her. "You know what Nia, you're spoiled, and you know it don't you? I don't think people buy their cats tuna everyday or let them sleep on their beds. You live in my house; do whatever you want and not pay rent. It's ridiculous. Well….maybe not cuz I don't pay rent either but that's not the point. You're a spoiled brat and I love you, that's the only reason I'm petting you right now." I engaged in a one way conversation with my cat. This was common for me. She was no different than another person and nothing less than family to me. I loved her like family. I watched TV for about 15minutes then Marleen called. "I'm outside." "Alright, I'll be right there. " I got up and went outside. She was wearing tan short shorts, black Vans, a white tee and a blue denim jacket. "We aren't matching today. Hahaha." I joked. "Oh shoot." She laughed. We hugged; it reminded me how small she was. After a long hug we kissed. "You ready to go?" I asked. She nodded yes in response. We walked north to the end of Seacrest Street, where the shopping center was, and went to the Bagel Shop. We sat inside talked and ate. "What have you been up to this week?" she asked me. I thought back to the past week and everything that had transpired. "Not much, just hang out with Chunk and Cee." I lied "And we went the Stylez Competition. What about you?" "Watch my little brother and sister; I took them to the movies Thursday, since they wanted to go. Then yesterday I spent time with my mom." She answered "That sounds like fun." "Yeah, it was. But I've been waiting all week for today. Oh! You had something to tell me?" She asked. I completely forgot I had something I was going to admit to her. "Hold on before you tell me, I have something to tell you." She said quickly. "Well after people found out we were talking, a lot of random people out of nowhere saying bad stuff about you." This didn't surprise me, if they didn't like us talking, they'd say anything to make us stop. "What did you hear?" I asked. "Well I was at a party and some girl approached me and asked if I was talking to you and I said yeah. They started saying that you're a thug and I'll get jumped if I hung out with you and you're a jerk, don't trust you, you'll hurt me. Blah, blah, blah. I told them not to talk to me if they were going to be talking about you like that because I know you and that's not how you are." She told me. I thought for a moment then put my head down "Well one part is true and that's what I wanted to tell. I'm not exactly a thug, I'm a Crip. All the other stuff is a lie though. I'll die before I let anything happen to you because of my affiliation" I said. She didn't seem bothered by what I told her at all, almost like she expected t. "See that's fine with me, that doesn't matter to me but I don't like people talking about you, especially to me. I know you and none of that's true." At that moment I realized she was more down to earth than I thought. There was a lot more to her than I thought. "So what have you heard about me." She asked taking a sip out of her Orange juice. I really didn't like repeating what I heard, even though she wanted to know but I did anyways. "I was told you're a liar, fake, you tell stories, and you're a 'hoe'. It's been a few things." I answered. "But I know you and I know they aren't true." There was a depth in her eyes, as if she had accepted what I said with a meaning. Despite my trust issues, I trusted and believed her. My logic was telling me not to put myself in a position to be hurt by trusting her. She would hurt me like my ex girlfriends and females best friends who damaged my trust. On the other hand my emotions told me otherwise. Give her a chance; pursue her, if you like her she's worth it. That was the question to myself 'Is it worth it?' but I had no clue how to find out. Time would tell. "I don't care what people say about me because they don't know me. I know what's true and you know what's true." She said softly. It seemed like what was told me to hurt her a little. She told me about her life's hardships and about her family. She had been through a lot and was still just an average girl; I admired this, she was able to maintain through her struggles. In return I told her my story, which she listened to respectfully. After awhile of talking we finished our meal and had a respect for each other but there was something that kept me on edge. I got a phone call from Chunk saying my sister Necia had dropped him off at my house and he was waiting outside. "Marleen, we have to go back to my house to pick up nephew. Is that okay?" I asked her. "Yeah, that's fine. Let's go." She smiled and said. We exited the Bagel Shop and immediately I was flagged down by a Pharmacist from the CVS a few stores down, who was walking to her car. "Hey, you're Thelma's grandson right?" she asked. My grandmother's fame had preceded her. "Yeah." I answered. "Her prescription is ready. Did you want to take it to her so she doesn't have to come and get it?" She asked. I turned to Marleen then back to the pharmacist "Uhh, sure." We followed her inside the store, signed for my grandma's medication, and left. "That's nice of you to get your grandma's medicine for her." Marleen said as she slipped her arm under mine. "Yeah, they know me because me and my cousin's always go with her to get her medication." I told her. She giggled, I didn't understand what was funny but she laughed at everything. We got back to my apartments and immediately headed to my house to pick up Chunk. When the steps leading to my house came into view, I saw Roosen Loc standing at the bottom step and Powder higher up talking to Chunk. My mind raced, I didn't want Powder anywhere near Chunk, I didn't want him near my house, I remembered what he had said to Haze, and I didn't want Marleen in the situation. When Roosen seen he, he took a step toward me like something was wrong. "What up, Cuzz?" he asked, holding his hand out to be shook. I shook his hand but didn't say anything to him. I handed my grandma's medicine and my key to Marleen as I walked up the first set of three steps. "Take Chunk inside please." I asked her kindly. I knew she could sense the negativity building up. Powder looked at me and smirked when I got to the step he was on. Anger hit me hard, and I didn't wait for Marleen to take Chunk in. "What's cracking nigga, why the fuck were you trippin on Haze, Cuzz?" I snarled. "What the fuck, bruh? I don't give a fuck nigga, he's a little homie." Powder snapped back, taking a step closer. "Shut the fuck up, Cuzz. That nigga is MY little homie. Nigga, I put him on EQC! You gotta problem, fuck nigga, take that shit up with me!" I told him. I pressed it down hard even though I noticed Marleen had opened the door but was standing there watching. "Fuck you, Cuzz. Fuck you and your little homies. Picking up a fucking Asian Crip reject." Instinct told me to fire back about his little homie, but I had known Roosen Loc since he was a kid and had no beef with him. But he struck a nerve. "Cuzz you got a problem, do something." I said coldly. His smile was brief because within a split second he was pounding his fists into my upper body and arms. My arms formed a W with my fist up to my neck to defend the hits. He was hitting harder than I expected and had me with my back against the rail. His onslaught went on relentlessly for about a minute. He finally hit my face with a left hook then made the mistake of trying right hook. I caught his wrist, spun him around, kicked the back of his knee, and pulled his shoulder down. He slouched; I put him in a choke hold and unleashed a round of knees into his lower back. Then the anger set in and I fired elbows into his the side of his face until his jaw cracked. The feeling of his jaw breaking was nasty, but it released all my anger. I didn't have the rage to fight any more so I let go thinking he'd stop. Even with a broken jaw and blood dripping out of his mouth, he turned around and tried to continue to fight. It was become increasingly difficult to avoid the blood that was spewing from his mouth. Roosen started to make his way up the stairs toward us. Out the corner of my eye I saw Chunk leave Marleen's side. He jumped off the first set of steps and blocked Roosen's path; threatening him. Chunk putting himself in the middle again pissed me off again. My counterattack on Powder engaged. I swang violently until I was physically unable to. Marleen was restraining me. "Manish stop!" she demanded. I wasn't going to fight her to get free, she had me stuck. "Bitch ass nigga!" I yelled at Powder. "Powder let's go!" Roosen demanded. With Marleen in the crossfire, we had to stop. She was a civilian, and we couldn't let her get hurt. Powder's lower face was swollen and he took a step down "You're lucky your bitch came, nigga." He grumbled as he walked toward Roosen. Marleen freed me and I took a step down as Powder walked passed Chunk. Roosen looked up at me then attended to Powder as they walked off. Marleen had a calm shocked demeanor about her. "Whoa that was crazy." She whispered. I motioned for Chunk and her to follow me into the house. When we got in I took my jacket off and laid it on the couch "Fuck that nigga, Cuzz." Had it not been for the little bit of martial arts techniques I picked up from Chunk and my neighbors, I would've had my ass whopped; I didnt have the stamina and Powder was way stronger than me. Marleen sat next to me and Chunk stood by the door. "Chunk, get the Clorox spay and spray all those blood spots outside before someone sees them, please." I told him. "Okay." he responded and ran upstairs to get the spray. My face and arms were sore from getting punched, bruising wasn't far from now, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I got some aspirin from the kitchen, took it and sat back down next to Marleen. I felt horrible. "Manish, why did you do that?" she asked me. "He made me mad. I don't like him and he shouldn't have been talking bout Haze." I answered "I don't even like fighting. People get hurt and you get mad for no reason." I admitted. Chunk came downstairs and went outside. "I just know a few Tae Kwon Do and reversal moves." I told her "But that hold you had me in, what was it?" I asked. She smiled "It's from Jujitsu." This reminded me she had told me she did Brazilian Jujitsu. "You're a lot stronger than you seem." I laughed. "I'll teach you some of the stuff I know, if you teach me what you know." She offered. I agreed; it seemed like it would be fun. I texted C-Swag and Haze about the fight. Chunk came back in the house and told me to call Breaker Loc for him because he wanted to spar with him. I called Breaker, told him about the fight and told him to keep Roosen away from Chunk. He agreed and told me he'd be over in ten minutes. Marleen reminded me we had to take my grandma's medication to her. I washed my hands and face, grabbed the medicine, told Chunk to lock my door when he left, and me and Marleen left. We walked over to my grandma's and I gave her medicine and left. We sat at the park at the in my apartments. She sat on the playground and I stood with my arms rested on her legs. "So you like cooking?" she asked me. "Yes, I love to cook, bake, and grill" I said. "I can cook and bake but I've never grilled before." "Oh my god, really? It's super easy. I can teach you!" "Really? Thank you." "Of course. I think it would be fun to teach you." "You're so nice hahaha." "So areeeee youuuu. Haha" "Haha well I'm nice to people who are nice to me." "And if they aren't, fuck them. Haha." "Yeah exactly." "Have I told you I like your hair?" "No, but I could kinda tell by the way you were playing with it. Hahaha. Why do you do that?" "I don't know it's a weird habit." She began to giggle. "I like your smile." She said. I couldn't help but smile at the compliment "Really? Thank you." I wasn't used to getting compliments. I looked behind me and surveyed the area then turned and look at her. She was looking at me with her pretty brown eyes. "You have really pretty eyes." I complimented. "Oh my gosh thank you." She laughed then leaned over and kissed me. We sat in silence, soaking in the moment. I loved when we kissed and being close to her. But something was stuck on my mind. "I'm sorry about earlier. I really didn't want to fight in front of you." I admitted. "It's okay, I'm glad you're okay," She replied "Does Chunk normally do that?" "Do what?" I asked. "Jump into your fights," She answered "He was really gunna fight." A flashback of Chunk and Roosen hit me. "Naw not really. This is the third time he's done it. But he can hold his own." I assured her. "That's crazy, he's such a small kid." She said. "He's just like me. You know, always be nice to your younger siblings. They look up to you and if you hurt their feelings it'll crush them." I advised her. It then hit me that I hadn't spent enough time with Chunk. He jumped into my fight, rode with my niggas, I had expressed likeness, and he spent a lot of time in my company. He and I were just alike, we were close and I needed to appreciate that more. "Yeah, you're right. It's true. I try to be a good big sister." She told me. "I'm sure you're a good sister. You're a sweet girl." "Aw thank you." She thanked and grabbed my hand. My eyes were drawn to look into her's, they were beautiful. My mind drifted for a moment and thought of my distrust in the situation. "Hey if I got us matching hats, would you wear it?" I asked. "Yeah! Haha, why not?" she giggled. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her. She hugged me back and I hopped up on the playground next to her. She bumped me with her shoulder and I bumped back; she squeezed me and I threatened to lick her by sticking my tongue out. I asked her if she wanted to go to my house and watch movies and she said yeah. To my surprise she took me by the hand and led me back to my house. There was a change in our vibe, the connection we shared. It's pace had sped up. I stopped her when we closed the door and kissed her. Taking off our jackets didn't stop our kissing. We got to the living room and she pushed me on the couch and climbed on top of me. My heart was racing. We continued to kiss as I ran my hands over her small waist, her touch was soft as she bit my lip lightly. My right hand ran from her hip, up her back, swept across her neck and into her hair. She was so light I sat up with ease and traded positions and laid her on her back. I began to bite her sides and tickle her. She tried fighting me off but had no success. I stopped when her laughing was strained. I sat back and took a deep breath, still sore from the fight. She sat up next to me and hugged me. I kissed her in response. We laid out on the couch decided we would watch a few scary movies. We actually watched movies all day and enjoyed each other's company until sunset. She looked outside and realized it was time for her to go. I didn't want her to leave; I liked her company but wasn't going to try to stop her. We walked to the door holding hands, kissed, and said our goodbyes. The end of the day was a mess for me. The fight and my mixed emotions for Marleen had me mixed up. I sat for awhile, thinking of what I should do the next day. My thoughts went to Chunk who was going to come into the house in awhile and the fight. They then went to Marleen, the events of the day and my trust issues. I make a cup of lean to relax. There was just so much on my mind that the best idea was to call my brother and ask for his advice.

It's What Makes The Road Smooth

For the next week I spent most of my time with Chunk, letting Haze and C-Swag handle business on their own. On this Saturday evening was Chunk's Tae Kwon Do training, and I told my sister I would take him. Together Chunk and I went to the TKD dojo that was less than five minutes north from my house. "Don't think because you're taking Martial Arts you're gunna be able to fight me. You gotta long way to go, bruh." I teased Chunk. "Yeah right, I'll kick your ass, Manish!" he snapped. He swung at me and I pushed in into the grass and took off running. We ran all the way to the dojo; it was behind McDonalds. When we got there Trevon's homeboy Tacc Zero from AAC was outside the door. I didn't know him well so we only shook hands and went inside. There were at least 15 other kids that were Chunk's age there. "I'ma go get changed then Sensei is going to come out in a little bit." Chunk told me. I nodded and told him I'd be there when he got out. The dojo had padded floors and huge mirrors for the kids to watch themselves as they practiced. It was actually really nice, it was Korean themed. I waited with the parents as they watched their kids practice their moves. Soon Chunk came out of the back in his Gi and began practicing with the other kids. He was shorter than a lot of the kids but that didn't catch me by surprise, he had always been short. Soon their sensei came out. She was a young girl, even younger than me. She was 17 with long black hair and hazel eyes. Her assistant yelled a command in Korean and all the kids bowed. Sensei bowed back. Sensei then began shaking all the hands of the parents. There was a smirk on my face as she went down the line and got closer to me. Finally she came to me. "Hey." I whispered. "Oh my god, Manish!" she said excited. It was Minish, one of my little homies. "Sandra! Take over the class for awhile. I have business to attend to." She told her assistant. Her assistant started the class and Minish and I went outside. "What are you doing here?" She asked me. Minish was a good friend of mine, like Dee, she wasn't part of the gang but was highly regarded. I gave her the name Minish because she was the mini female version of Manish. "I'm watching my nephew. He's in your class." I pointed to Chunk. "Chunk huh? He's a good fighter. He acts a lot like you" She said "But anyways, I haven't seen you in forever. How are you?" Tacc Zero was watching us until Minish motioned for him to go inside. "I'm good. Just everyday Crip struggles." I joked. She laughed. "How about you?" I asked in return. "I've been okay, just tired from working a lot. Plus my family has been grieving because my cousin just got shot in Sucio." She sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that. A member of AAC just got shot in Sucio not too long ago. Sucio is a dangerous place." I told her. Minish nodded. "Yeah that was my cousin!" "Really? That's crazy! It's sad AAC wont do anything about it. He got shot by the Bloods out there." "Oh really? I was trying to find that out. I couldn't find out who did it." "Yeah I used to live in Sucio, so I have a few connects." "Well since I know now, I'll have it handled." "You're going ask AAC to do something about it?" "No, I'm going to tell them." "That doesn't mean they'll do it Minish." "Uh yeah. They have to listen to their boss." "Head? You're going start to the head of the Asian Crips?" "No I am the head of AAC." I was shocked to hear this. I thought she was joking but the look on her face told me I was wrong. "Are you serious?" I asked baffled. "Yes, I'm the head of All Asian Crips." She said in a light tone. I thought for a moment, it made sense since she was White and half Filipino, that she would be a part of AAC. I then knew why Zero went inside when she told him to; he was her body guard. My eyes wandered around to see a few other AAC members spread around the parking lot watching us talk. "How'd you manage that?" I asked, still somewhat alert to eyes watching us."Well a lot of my cousin's are a part of AAC so there's that. My family is well known in the Asian community. And well, no one would expect me to lead a gang or be able to defend myself. I actually fought guys to be head" She bragged. Minish had every right to brag, she had always excelled at everything. Now she went from not being a gangbanger to the leader of a gang and owning her own dojo. I was proud of her and happy to see Chunk was training under an expert martial artist. I couldn't call her my little homie anymore, because she was my equal. "Ahahaha, that's just like you to be beating niggas up." I laughed. She smiled "That's why you never fought me." She taunted. "Yeah nigga, and I won't!" I said. She laughed. I had always said I would fight her, but never really would. We talked for about 30mins and then she decided to get back to her class. We hugged and I told her I was proud of her becoming so successful. She thanked me and we decided we'd go for lunch sometime. She went back in to teach and I stood outside for a moment. My eyes made contact with all of the Asian Crips in their individual discreet watch outs then went in. After two hour the kids finished their practice and Chunk ran over to me. "Hey, you know Sensei?" he asked. "Yeah, I know Minish?" "How do you, uh, know Minish?" "I've known her for awhile. She was my best friend." "Ohhh so you were talking to her earlier?" "Yeah we were catching up." We started to walk out of the dojo when Minish came running out of the back "Bye Manish!" She said. We hugged and I lifted her in the air and set her down. "Bye Minish! I can't wait to see you again." I told her. As Chunk and I walked out Zero's eyes followed us. The Asian Crips weren't playing, they really kept an eye on their leader. Me and Chunk talked on the way back to the apartments. "Chunk, one of these days I'm just gunna sock you out while you're asleep." I wrapped my arm around his head and started slapping him on the head. "Forget you Manish. I'ma dump cat littler on your bed while you're sleeping." He laughed. "Nigga you're mad cuz I put your face in the litter box, cuzz." "Okay, at least I don't get girls with kimchi coohie." "Nigga, you only go after the Asian girls with kimchi coochie!" "Fuck you!" "No thank you Chunk. "Nigga you gay!" "You're gay! You're the one always talking about 'lemme touch your beard'. Weirdo." "Yeah cuz it feels funny." "You'll get a beard one day, too Playboy. Then you get to play with yours." "Does Mac Nutty have a beard?" "Naww, he barely has any facial hair. Me and you have the most hair out the family besides Uncle Angel." "Ew! One time I was spending the night at Uncle Angel's house and I seen his stomach and it looked like, I don't know, it was a monkey stomach." I had to stop walking I laughed so hard, he wasn't lying. "Really! He had all kinds of hair on his stomach." "I believe it. I do too. I think we get it from my Grandpa." "Is he hairy?" "I'm assuming." "Oh. " "Yeah." When we got back to the apartments, Chunk was about to eat when my Grandma Thelma called me. "Trevon is over here. I cooked dinner for him. You know chicken and gravy, rice and white beans. There's a lot, ask your friend what's her name?" she asked in her southern accent. "Dee?" "Yeah that's her. If ya'll are hungry we gon' be here eating." "Alright Grandma, we'll be over there in a little bit." "Alright, bye-bye." Bye Grandma." Even though I didn't like talking to my Grandma on the phone, I always listened to what she had to say. Over 70 years on earth and 59 years in Marin gave her knowledge that I knew should be heard. I called Dee and invited her to dinner; she was at my house 5mintues later. It actually surprised me that she invited Dee over because she was always against me and Trevon having female friends and especially bringing them over. Despite this I still had invited Dee. Together her, Chunk and I walked over to my Grandma's. When went inside, me and Chunk shook hands with Trevon and hugged my Grandma. Dee hugged both my Grandma and Trevon. We wasted no time eating and telling stories. It was a ritual for me and Trevon to do so every time we were at our grandma's house. My Grandma told us stories of when she lived in China Town in Sucio; they made China Town seem so normal compared to now. It was like The Halls of Hell only ten times worse. My grandma wasn't a California native, she was actually from Louisiana. Coming to California she brought her Creole heritage. She had six kids, one being my dad. It was from her and my father, that I believed I got part of my love to cook because they both shared the passion. Every time she cooked her southern food me and Trevon would be there in an instant to eat. Our dinners were always fun. Chunk seemed to get the most laughs out of all of us because he choked on his food at least 6 times while laughing. We shared laughs and "aww"s. The whole time I poked fun at the fact Dee was hitting on my cousin, who was used to girl always trying to get at him. It was a lot of fun. At the end of dinner, my Grandma gave us some pineapple cake for dessert, telling us it took her a long time to make it. When we finished it was 11:30 at night and she wanted to go to Penny Pinchers to get her lottery tickets. Dee decided me and Trevon would go with our Grandma and she would take Chunk back to my house. We walked next to our Grandma, at her sides like bodyguard, like bodyguards. We were walking through the parking lot when Trevon alerted me to a car with a Mexican wearing red bandana. "Man, fuck it." I said passively. When we got to the sidewalk to cross there was a man standing in the darkness. He spit and started to cross the street at the same time as us. We crossed paths, he seen our Grandma put his head down and said something. When we got across the street and far enough out of his hearing distance I asked Trevon "What did he say?" "He said 'I apologize ma'am.' Cuz he spit." He answered. As we walked up the Penny Pincher's parking lot I saw the Mexican with the bandana in the store. He glanced outside, snatched the bandana off his head, and shoved it in his pocket like he had seen the police. "Hi Grandma." he said lowly. The tall guy next to him was holding a puppy. "Oh hey, how ya mama?" my Grandma asked the shorter one as she began to pet the puppy. My left met with his and didn't leave. "She's good." He said humbly. My Grandma then turned to the cashier and started talking. "See, I know them. I raise 'em. We out late like we some gangsta. Well I'm a gangsta, they not gangsta. They pretend gangstas." She joked. Me, Trevon, and the cashier busted out laughing, like the two guys smiled and put their heads down. They were feeling shamed. "Alright Grandma, we have to go. We have to take the puppy home." The taller one said. "Alright, tell ya mama I said hello." She replied. They walked out the store and left. "Those niggas got punked by Grandma." Trevon laughed. "Hell yeah, he took off his bandana and everything." We laughed. While our grandma was talking to the cashier, a man walked in, went to the back and got in line behind us. "Moms, is that you?" he asked. Our Grandma turned around and greeted him. When they started talking me and Trevon made space between us; his breathe smelled like crap. After their short conversation, our Grandma started talking about us. "Them my grandbabies. They some bad dude. One half Mexican and the other half Puerto Rican and tough as all hell." She said proudly. The guy nodded his head in agreement then he asked us "So where do ya'll hail from?" "Right here." We both answered. "Yeah that's Moms. We take good care of Moms." He informed. We nodded. This was testament to our grandma's status as an O.G. She didn't need anyone to take care of her though; she was tough, tougher than anyone her age. She was known by everyone in Marin, without a doubt. Through her I learned the importance of knowledge, because the information she always passed was always a new way to look at things. We left the store and took our Grandma home. After we said our goodbyes to her, we went to my house and met up with Dee. Chunk and I decided to her take us to our Grandma's house on the farthest eastside of Marin. Trevon said he was going home and would meet up with Dee after she dropped us off. This caught me off guard; I didn't expect him to offer that. Chunk and I shook hands with our cousin and we all departed to Dee's car. While driving I noticed there was something wrong with Dee, I could tell. She was unusually quiet and seemed sensitive. I turned around and seen Chunk was asleep and decided to ask. "What's wrong, Dee?" I asked. "Nothing." She said quietly. She was lying. "Tell me, Dee." I told her. She sighed. "Well when I was little I used to live with my dad and he was really abusive. He used to beat me and my little sister for no reason He left all kinds of bruises and scars. I hated hearing my sister cry so I usually took most of the beatings. I hate my dad so much Manish you don't understand, I was so happy when my mom and grandma came back from the Philippines and we got to live them them. I haven't talked to him for 9 years and he called today. I ignored the call but he texted me saying," She looked through her phone and quoted the message "'Dee, I’m your father and I still love you. Call me if you ever need anything.' I didn't reply I don't want to talk to him. Why would he text me? He used to beat us for no reason. I don't need anything from him and don't want anything to do with him." Tears ran down her face. It killed me for my best friend to be so hurt. I reached over the seat, hugged her, and I assured her she didnt have to have anything to do with him. She had me, Chunk and everyone else to help her with anything she wanted. She squeezed me and thanked me.

Like Dee had a bad relationship with her dad, I had a bad relationship with my mother. Me and both my siblings did. She would always make my life a hell by accusing me of smoking weed, ditching school, most of my friends being gay, and harassing me; stupid shit she had no proof of. This furthered my older siblings' dislike of her, but really I blamed them. They had known how she was, left, and left me with her. Our mother was a tyrant who believed it was her way or no way and she was always right. It was all magnified by her becoming angry when she was drinking. The living situation with her was hell and beyond unbearable so as soon as Grace offered me a free apartment I took it and lost all contact with my mother. I called my Grandma, asked her to open the door and carried Chunk into the house. My grandma didn't speak English, being that she was full Puerto Rican. Even though I wasn't fluent in Spanish, between my grandma and me, we never had a problem communicating. She had spend a lot of her life in the military and finally settled down in Marin. When her and my grandpa divorced he gave her the house and moved to Texas. Every time I had got a large sum of money I gave it to her to help keep the house in good condition. She was the backbone of my mom's side of the family. Everyone looked to her for help and support, so every chance I got, I gave to her. Because of her I was in love with my Puerto Rican heritage and upbringing. She always stayed up late watching novellas so I sat Chunk on the couch and drank some coffee. After awhile of texting Marleen I got tired decided to go to sleep. "Goodnight Grandma." I called to my Grandma. "Buenas Noche." She replied.

The next morning, my grandma had cooked cornmeal and coffee for Chunk and I. Since was still asleep and my grandma was in the shower I decided to go sit on the steps and smoke a Black. It was a chilly morning but he sky was blue and the sun was out. It was really nice. I walked around the front yard for a bit and noticed that new people had moved in the house across the street. My Grandma lived in her house for 40 years and same people lived on the street the whole time. But things change. I sat on the steps and text Marleen and Dee good morning. Ten minutes went by and I had finished my Black when a police car pulled up in front in front of the house. "What the fuck?" I thought. The officer got out of the car and messed with something inside. I decided to meet him in the drive way so he wouldn't come any closer to the house. "How's it going? Do you live here?" He asked as he approached me. He was a tall, skinny, White officer asking typical cop questions. But this particular question really irritated me. "Naw, this is my Grandma's house. I'm visiting." I answered. "Alright what's your name?" He asked. I told him my real name, gave him my I.D., and he went back to the car run my name through the system. I wasn't worried, I had no criminal recorded but it didn't make sense for him to be asking anything. He came back over and handed me my I.D. "Alright sir. Sorry to waste your time" The officer apologized. "It's good, what brought you all the way out this way." I asked. "Well someone called concerned about specious person in the neighborhood. So I came to check it out." He told me. I immediately looked at the house across the street with the new neighbors. There was a shadow in the window; someone was watching us. "Oh alright, Officer. You have a good day." I said. "Likewise." he replied. He drove off and I stood at inspected the house. After a while of staring directly into the window I waved at the person hidden in the widow behind the curtain. I wanted them to know I seen them and knew they called the police. When I went back inside Chunk was up and eating with our grandma. I sat down and ate breakfast with them. "Can I have some more, Lita?" Chunk asked. "Tu puedes comer todo lo que tu quieres." She answered. She was always generous when it came to her grandkids. We all often fought over who was her favorite but I knew her favorites where my older siblings, especially my sister. After me and Chunk ate, we started to clean her back yard. Pulling up weeds, picking up trash, and watering her flowers. The whole time me and Chunk talked shit to each other. Being in her backyard always treated my love of nature, she had so many plants and we always seen lizard or weird bugs. We shared a deep appreciation for nature. We got done in the late afternoon and began sparring. He began going fighting harder than our grandma seen us and said "Dejan eso ja!" so we stopped. As we walking in the house I smiled at my grandma and she started to laugh. When we got in she had made us more Puerto Rican food to eat. My second half of my love to cook came from her. I kissed her and thanked her. She was always happy to be with us. From her I learned my compassion and generosity. She loved my family and took care of everyone, like she was our protector. She took a big part in raising me and I loved her more than anything; there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her. Night time came around, we ate dinner then it was time to leave. Chunk offered to stay so I let him. My grandma offered me money for cleaning her backyard but I declined and took a pack of gum instead. I shook hands with Chunk and kissed my Grandma goodbye and left. The walk back to my apartments would be at least 45minutes but it was time for me to think. There was a life I needed to enjoy more. There was much I was missing out on by living the life I was.

Caught In The Middle

The next few weeks were peaceful. There was no sign of Powder trying to cause trouble, SSM, or anything. It was a boring Saturday so I invited Minish to lunch, so we decided met at New Tokyo across the street from Lee's Garden. This would be our first outing in a long time, we hadn't spend quality time in awhile. When I got into the parking lot she sent me a text saying "Just walk into the restaurant. Ignore us." I assumed she was arguing with her boyfriend or something. When the restaurant came into view her and 3 Asian guys were arguing with 5 Black guys. The Black guys were from SeaBlue City, I could tell by the way they dressed; S hats and Dickies jeans. Just as I was about to walk past, I made eye contact with Minish. I sat inside for awhile then I realized what was going on. In SeaBlue City, Blacks and Asians didn't get along and they carried that when they went elsewhere. Niggas from SeaBlue City were ruthless true Crips. Whether it was the younger niggas who ran in groups or older niggas that were ice cold, they were solid. I didn't know if this guys were Crips or not but that didn't matter. I knew shit was going to go bad and Minish would be in the middle. As soon as I stood up and turned around to go outside, they started fighting. Before I even got out of the restaurant, the 5 on 3 fight turned to 5 on 2. I ran outside and hit one of the guys. I was scared out of my mind, the odds were against us but I wanted defend Minish. A guy punched me in the jaw and another slammed me on my back. What I seen next was like a scene from a Bruce Lee movie. Minish took stance then attacked. One by one took each guy was taken down with a flurry of kicks, knees, punches and twists. One by one they were dropping and folding. Lightning had struck and she was the force of nature. As fast as the fight started she ended it. Her skills as a black belt in Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Kickboxing, and Jujitsu were made known; more than that she showed them. The guys were groaning in pain; I scrambled up as fast as I could and gawked in amazement. 5 grown men had just been taken down by 1 girl and it was more than scary. There were people everywhere, staring. "You wanna meet up later for lunch, I'm sure someone is going to call the police." I asked rubbing my jaw. "Uh yeah that'd probably be a good idea." She agreed. We decided to meet at my house later. With that, the Asian Crips rushed into their car and left, and I turned and left for home.

Everything ended as fast as it started. I got back to my house and sat on the couch next to Nia who was sleeping. "Nia if you had seen Minish." I sighed. I was about to call Haze when Haze called me. "Hello?" I answered. "Cuzz." Haze replied. "What's cracking?" I asked. "Where's Guero?" he asked. Guero was my 23 years old, White and Mexican cousin. Like Ray, Guero was a rapper and producer. But his style was completely different from Ray's since he was "Northern Cali Raised" as he said (whatever that meant). I had hooked them up so that they could collaborate on beats and music. "I don't know. He isn't with you guys?" I asked. "Naw, he was supposed to meet up with like half an hour ago but he didn't." Haze answered. "Alright, I'll hit him and hit you back." "Aight, Big Cuzzin." "Aight cuzz, gone." I really didn't want to call Guero but I did anyways. There was no answer so I texted Haze and told him. Since me and Minish were still going to have lunch, I got up and checked the fridge for food to cook. "Well then, fish it is." I decided. My mind kept going back to later tonight, when I'd be bored with nothing to do so I called Braid for work. He told me that Sucio Crips were having a big party on the east side of town and we need to keep watch over. So he gave the job to me, Breaker Loc, Blu-Roll, and Haze. He didn't seem too surprised when I told him about the niggas from SeaBlue City being in Marin. He said they probably knew that Sucio was having a party and that's why they were riding around. It was perfect timing that my brother called because he was the person I would go to involving SeaBlue City. My call with Braid ended and I clicked over to talk to my brother. "Hello?" "What's good, little bruh?" "What's good?" "Whatchu doing?" "Just got in. I was just about to call and ask you, have Blacks and Asians always not liked each other in SeaBlue?" "Naw, we was cool when I was out there, why?" "I guess after they split a block out there they have been beefing. I just had a run in with some of the niggas from out there." "What happened?" "They were trippin on the Asian Crips out here and my home girl was with them so I had to jump in. It was 5 on 2. But she handled it." What do you she handled it?" "She's a black belt MMA fighter. Cuzz, she took them all down. And she's the head of AAC." "AAC? What's that?" "All Asian Crips. It's a gang out here." "Oh is that right? They didn't have that when I was out there. You're homegirl sounds bad though." "She is. She's Chunk's teacher. She's the one teaching him Tae Kwon Do." "Really? How long have you known her?" "A few years, she used to be my little homie, called her Minish." "Is that right? Sounds proper." "Yeah. Anyways have you talked to Grandma?" "Naw, not lately." "Me and Chunk spent the night over there and helped clean up her backyard." "Most definitely that's a good thing. You know Grandma love when you guys go over there." "Yeah, I know. She gets happy." "Listen I was gon' ask you. And you get me a 50 dollar Verizon phone card?" "Yeah, I'll get on that, when do you need it?" "Ehhhh, tomorrow morning is good." "Aight, I'll do that ASAP." "Alright and I'll use the homie's phone to hit you tomorrow." "Aight." "Love you, boy." "Love you too." "Gone." "Gone." After I hung up with my brother I called Minish and asked her if she was still coming over. She said confirmed and said she'd be over in half an hour. I sat there for a moment bored out of my mind then Nia's head turned to the door. Dee walked in the front door, took a few steps, then stood and stared at me. I stared back. We had an awkward moment for about two minutes just staring at each other then slowly smiled and started laughing. "What?" she asked. "What do you mean 'what'? You were just staring at me!" I answered. "Well you just looked at me like...yeah." she responded. We laughed. I told her about what had occurred today and about the mission Braid had given me. "I'll take you guys." Dee volunteered "I have nothing else to do." This struck me as strange because Dee always seemed to be doing something, but I accepted. "Yeah I'd appreciate that." I thanked. She took a few steps towards the kitchen "Alright, well. I'ma grab something to eat, call me later." She said with a big cheesy smile. "Hahaha, alright." I said as she walked into the kitchen. I listened to her open the fridge, then cabinet and dig around. After about a minute she walked out with an arm full of Rice Krispie Treats. She was hanging out with Trevon, I knew because his favorite was Rice Krispie Treats and she took a lot. I laughed, Nia meowed at me and I looked at her. "I saw that too, Nia." I started cook lunch and finished right before Minish came. She knocked on the door, came in, and we sat and ate lunch. "So what happened today?" I asked. How the fight started was still unknown to me and I wanted to know. Minish let out a long sigh and swept her hair back. "Well," She said "they confronted us before I even got out of the car, they started saying 'Fuck slanted eye bitches' and crap like that." Her voice seemed kind of tired, like what they said disappointed her. I assumed she really didn't want to talk to me about it. "Oh, well you sure the fuck showed them." I laughed. She smiled "Well, you know me, Manny." Manny, I hadn't been called that in a long time, it was welcoming. "I'm Head Lady hahaha." She laughed. "That's why I never sparred with you." I admitted "You're scary, so much power in such a small girl." She smiled at me. She knew what was said was the truth. We began to talk and remember our old times when she would come to the Charnell apartments to visit her family. We met because my dad and her family were good friends and we often hung out together. There was a considerable gap in our ages but she was always mature for her age. We had a good friendship; she had taught me to use a sword effectively and I taught her life lessons. As we got older, she caught on to my affiliation with EQC and eventually I had to tell her. Despite that she remained a good friend. Really, over everything she has grown up on me. She was an impressive young woman. After we finished eating, I showed her my sword collection, the gun stash, and Nia (who Minish had known since she was a kitten). As we toured my house, sparring with her became a possibility to me. I knew she would like the idea and even though it scared me, the more I thought of it the more I wanted to do it. "What ever happened to Nica?" she asked me. "Nica? I broke that bitch off. That bitch was a weirdo" I said. Nica was a girl I was dating right before Minish and I lost contact. She claimed to be a Blood from LA until I exposed her, after she called herself acting hard. I broke her off when she became more and more strange and lying to me. "Why? What'd she do?" Minish asked. "Nothing, just lying for no reason and shit." I replied. "Wow Manny, always getting the winning ladies huh?" She teased. I rolled my eyes "Right?" I thought about telling her about Marleen but I wasn't sure about Marleen myself. The thought to ask her about her boyfriend crossed my mind but she never told me about her relationships. We talked for about thirty minutes more and when I checked the time it was 4:23pm. She decided it was time for her to leave because she had business to attend to. She seemed stressed to leave, like she didn't want to handle whatever she had to. I felt for her, not only had she done big things but had to handle big things. It must've been so hard for someone so young. We walked downstairs and stood awkwardly by the front door. I reached out and massaged her shoulders and she sighed "You seem like you don't wanna do whatever." I said questioningly. "No," She lied "I'm just tired." I admired that she never let her problems affect her too much, she always faced them head up. "Well alright Minish," I walked over to the cabinet and got her a pack of licorice "take some candy, you'll feel better." She smiled and laughed "You're silly, Manny. Thank you." We hugged. I kept a hold of her hand when we said bye to ensure I would always be there for her. After she left, I started to call Haze and make sure he was ready for the night but then I remember he was recording. The party didn't start until 9 so that gave me five hours to relax and my thoughts together.

A little later that day I went to Penny Pinchers to get a Black n Mild and ran into my homie Trigga, a Crip from Seablue City, and T-Mac in front of the store. "Awww shit Manish. Whats happenin cuzz?" he said. We shook hands and I hugged T-Mac. "Manish! How do you know Trigga! Oh my gosh." she asked. I had met Trigga in Sucio when I almost got jumped by a Norteno and a so-called Oakland Crip; me, Trigga, Smurf, Trevon, Chunk and a bunch of other niggas went looking for them. "Some shit that happened a few years back." I answered with a smirk."What are you doing?" Trigga asked. "Not much bruh, whatchu doing out here" I asked. "Shit. Just came out here to see my cousin." "And get a bottle!" Tee added as if Trigga had forgotten. Trigga pulled a bottle of Hypnotic out of his coat and smiled. Me and Tee shook our heads and I said "Oh god." "You don't drink?" he asked. I remembered the story Smurf told me about him picking this nigga up after a party and his drunk self was shooting out of Smurf's car even though Smurf told him not to."Hell naw. Haha Aye who's your cousin? I probably know them." I asked. "Braid." He answered. I got excited "Aw shit, for real? That's my nigga!" I laughed. "Dang. You guys know everyone!" Tee said. We talked for a long while then finally I decided to leave the front of the store. Before they left Trigga asked if I had some weed, I gave him the zip I had on me and told him if he wanted to make money to try selling in the Halls of Hell. T-Mac said "not with me you're not!" Meeting with Trigga made me wonder what ever happened to the niggas that tried to jump me. It was funny how they tried to jump me and I made allies with people I never thought I would've met. It made me love being a Crip.

Dee picked up me and Breaker and took us to the party. When we got there we met with Haze, Blu-Roll. Much to my surprise my cousins Smurf and Trevon were also there. That's why Dee offered to bring us, because of Trevon. They were there handling business like they always did. It was a regular party for the most part. Occasionally someone would flash a gat but that was no big deal. After a few hours of nothing happening it was 1 and we got comfortable and started to enjoy the party. There were a few new niggas from Sucio I met; Lil Rhino, Tay Keys, Blacc Ace, and Dirt. They were cool, but I didn't plan on making friends with them since my big homie was from SeaBlue. Me, Trevon and Dee were chilling the backyard looking through the slide door. Smurf was playing beer pong but was using Bacardi instead. "That nigga Smurf is about to be shit faced." Trevon laughed. He wasn't lying either, Smurf's stories always started with "I was hella drunk at a party." I smiled and watched Smurf take a shot "Really." "Nigga, this party is actually pretty coo." Trevon admitted "Hella niggas to network with and shit hahaha." I nodded in response. Haze was talking with Tay Keys inside, I watched them shake hands and walk out the front door. Haze was way young than everyone so I kept an eye on him; made sure he didn't get into trouble. Breaker came outside high as hell. "Aye, this party is crackin." He laughed. "Yeah it is." Trevon responded. "Bruh, I don't think the SeaBlue niggas are coming. If they were they would've been here already." Breaker said. He was right. He walked in a circle then said "Alright, I'ma going to smoke another bowl." and went inside. "We needa go on a vacation, Cuzz." I told Trevon. "Hell yeah, like L.A. or something." He responded. It had been years since me and Trevon went on a vacation and I thought we were past due for one. Dee put her arm on his shoulder and said "I can take you guys!" I smirked and remarked "Who said you're coming with us? It's a FAMILY vacation. " She made a fake sad face and we laughed. "You know you only wanna go cuz you like my little cousin." I told Dee referring to Trevon. She chuckled and raised her eyebrows. "This nigga," Trevon remarked "Anyways whatchu doing this weekend-" before he could finish his sentence Dee interrupted "That's that bitch!" She leaned off Trevon and got closer to the sliding glass. Whoever she saw made her mad so I looked inside through the people to see who it was. After my bad eyesight adjusted I seen my ex girlfriend Nica walking around. "What's wrong with her?" I asked. This was my way to hear someone else who didn't like her talk shit about her. "I had a class with that bitch, she used to talk hella shit. Like that she was a Blood and she killed people. When I confronted her she didn't wanna say anything but she was talking shit behind my back." Dee said with disgust. "Soooooo…" Trevon wondered out loud. "Fuck that, I'm going to fuck her up." Dee said. Before me and Trevon could protest she opened the sliding door and went inside. We had just lightweight instigated a fight. We watched as Dee walked in the house, wading through the crowd. She was taller than a lot of the guys in there. She moved swiftly through to my 5'2" ex who was standing in front of the beer pong table. She tapped Nica on the shoulder said something. "I wonder what she's saying." I whispered. "I know." Trevon replied. Everyone in the house stopped and looked toward Dee and Nica; Nica looked dumbstruck. I never understood why me and Trevon never went inside to see what was going on but my focus was interrupted by my phone ringing. "Hello...Yeah I'm at a party. Why?...What do you mean? My cousin Guero...When? Is that why he didn't show up...Nigga, for what...Well, I mean that's what he gets he doesn't even bang we told him about that. Is he okay?...The hospital?! What the fuck? What'd they do?..." it was Ray telling me our cousin Guero had been jumped and stomped out by Sucio Nortenos that were on Owen street and was now hospitalized. Even though me and Trevon knew would happen, it still surprised us. The thought of him getting jumped pissed me off. As I relayed everything Ray told me to Trevon there was a loud bang on the slide door. We looked to see Nica's back against it and Dee standing in front of her. "Ray I gotta go…" and abruptly ended the phone call. Trevon opened the door and Nica came spilling outside, along with Dee and everyone from the party. Within a matter of seconds everyone was in a circle around Dee and Nica, cheering the girls on. Dee was towering above Nica who was standing with her head down. I couldn't hear what was being said over the cheering and noises. For a moment I felt bad, we knew Nica was a fake but at the same time she should've know the risks she was taking; now she had to face them. Dee's long arm reached out shoved Nica. She was thrown off a few steps but her head never came up. The crowd was filed with "Ooh"s. Dee shoved her again, still with no reaction. She walked over and stood over Nica again. After about a minute Dee shook her head and turned away. The crowd "aww"ed and Nica clearly said "Fuck her." She fucked up, bad. I seen Dee smirk. She turned around, slapped Nica then fired round of powerful punches head and face. This was going to be one sided; Dee was going to hand out an ass beating. Dee's onslaught ended with another hard shove that knocked Nica on her ass. Dee was yelling "Get up!" but it looked like Nica didn't know what was going on. She looked stupid, even more than before; like a clueless buffoon. The look on her face made me mad, she looked so dumb. Everything in the world made me want Dee to destroy her. Dee walked over, grabbed Nica by the hair and started punching her. Soon enough there was blood splattering on the floor. When I seen Nica's head come up her nose was bleed. The punches were relentless and unforgiving. I stood there staring trying to figure out what looked wrong and I realized Nica wasn't fighting back, she had no chance. Trevon clinched next to me every time Nica was hit. This was the first time I had ever seen Dee fight and it was scary, she was a beast. The fight was so one sided it was horrifying. All the hooting and hollering clouded my thoughts; there was something I wanted to do but I couldn't think of it. I couldn't hear myself think but some how Trevon did. My cousin left the crowd, grabbed a hold of Dee and I absent mindedly followed him. Her right hand was covered in blood and she was breathing heavily. She had went into a rage and the only thing hold her back was Trevon. Nica sat there with her head low and her hands over her face, dripping with blood. "Aye somebody come get her!" I called out to the crowd. Everyone closed in and started congratulating Dee on her victory, but Trevon just held her. While Lil Rhino helped Nica up, I felt slightly sorry for her, but that was quickly distracted when Breaker and Haze came over and began talking to me and Trevon. Trevon got irritated and walked Dee away from everyone. That was the best idea when Dee was mad. "Cuzz isn't that your ex girlfriend?" Haze asked. He had met Nica once before and banged on her, she had no clue what she was doing. "Yeah that's her." I mumbled as Tay Keys guided her away from the backyard and into the house. After seeing Nica walk in the house bloodied up Blu-Roll came out and called everyone inside. All of the Sucio niggas turned, looked at him, and did as he said. I let everyone filed passed then looked at Haze and told him to wait for me. I walked over to Dee and Trevon, Dee was shaking. My arms went around her. The embrace lasted at least thirty seconds then I wrapped her hand with my bandana and left her with Trevon. Me and Haze went inside and continued to party. Go explained to Haze that Dee was my responsibility just as much as he was, not because I invited her to the party but because I cared about her. After about thirty minutes right as Dee and Trevon came in, there were gunshots outside. It was known instantly; the shots aimed at and went through the garage. Everyone in the house became riled up and they started pulling their guns. Immediately I looked at Blu-Roll who stood at the front door refusing to let anyone exit. There was complaints and protests no one dared challenge his Samoan size. Breaker and Haze stood at the back door behind Trevon. We were wrong, the SeaBlue niggas were going shoot up the party. If anyone got out it would've been a grim scene. I moved to the back and stood next to Dee. There was three more gun shots fired into the garage and everyone in the house ducked. While everyone was distracted me, Dee, and Trevon slipped out the back door into the backyard. We dropped to the floor when there were 6 more shots fired and after that we heard a car try to take off with the brakes on. Me and Dee drew our guns, ran around the side of the house to the front just as the Red Acura driven by the shooters sped off. I looked at Dee and Trevon. "C'mon nigga!" He said as Dee took off to her car. Dee got in the drivers seat, me in the passenger's, Trevon in the back and sped off after the car.

There was no one on the road with us. We chased the car all the way through the silent East side of Marin. We hit the highway then the car turned into the close military base the surrounded Marin. The night was cold, black and foggy. The only noise was us screeching as we hit corners and made tight turns. The military base was mostly woods and old base housing. Dee was dead on the driver's ass but for whatever reason they managed to keep ahead of us. Trevon texted Blu-Roll telling him that we were following the SeaBlue niggas. Truth was we were chasing but had no clue what we were going to do if we caught them. We chased them for almost an hour but the driver managed to stay out of our reach. "Nigga we need to catch this car!" Trevon demanded. Just as he said that the driver's arm reached out the window and let off shots at us; we swerved to dodge the bullets. We hit a corner and we were on a straight road with woods on both sides. "Oh fuck no!" Dee yelled. I could hear in her voice the rage from the previous event was still there. Instantly she pulled out the Berretta I gave her and loaded the clip. "Take the wheel, Manish." She said coldly. I panicked, she must've lost her mind "Dee, what are-" She rolled down window and hung out the car. The car jerked and I panicked then reached over, grabbed wheel and tried to keep the car steady. "Trevon! Grab the wheel, I can't see the road!" I yelled. My cousin reached over me and grabbed the wheel and steadied the car. I grabbed a hold of Dee and kept her steady. "Hurry up Dee!" Trevon demanded. After about 4 more seconds of looking at her back pockets there were 5 shots from the Berretta and the sound of the car tires screeching. I let Dee go, Trevon let go of the wheel and Dee took it. She had taken out the back tires and the car was swerving violently. It swerved left and right then finally skidded out of control, flipped over, and landed against the trees. Dee stopped the car about 50 feet behind the wreck. "Stay here." We told Dee. I couldn't believe what we were doing next; me and Trevon loaded our clips and got out. It smelled like wet cement and burning rubber. All the trees seemed to be closer than they were in the car. The feeling of having my gun drawn with my cousin at my side made my adrenaline rush. I walked more on the driver's side and Trevon the passenger's side. If anyone in the car was conscious, they fire on us and we wouldn't even expect it. It was already too late to turn back. As we neared the wreck, we noticed there was only one person in the red car. I looked at Trevon who nodded to me and we agreed. With our guns aimed, we ran to driver's door. My heart dropped. I felt sick to my stomach; time seemed to slow to almost a complete stop. The world seemed to fall upon me. I had no clue what Trevon was thinking but it couldn't have been different than what I was. The horrifying sight of seeing our cousin Smurf passed out in the driver's seat with blood dripping down his head.

It's Like a Circle

It had been two weeks since the night of the party. I had been spending more time with Audio and Minish; try to keep my mind occupied. Two weeks prior Marleen had got a boyfriend while we were still talking. This bothered me since I liked her a lot and she had told me she loved me then changed up immediately. It bothered me so much I didn't tell anyone other than Minish and kept it from Dee. This happened right after me and Trevon saved Smurf from the flipped car. It turned out while he was playing beer pong one of the Sucio Crips kept asking him if he was from SeaBlue City. Drunk and angry, Smurf had left the party while Nica and Dee fought, stole a car and shot up the party After we pulled Smurf out the car Dee dropped me and Trevon off at home then took Smurf to the hospital. We told police that he had got drunk and then got into a fight with a Samoan. The story we pitched sold and all he got was an expensive hospital bill for his broken ribs, leg, and stitches. Since then Dee and Trevon established themselves and began dating. They made a cute couple and I was glad for them but they became rarely seen. Me and Trevon found out exactly who jumped Guero but ultimately didn't care. He had went to the hospital with a minor concussion and was sent home the same night. When we left the party, Blu-Roll and Breaker Loc ended up having to break the limbs of Lil Rhino and Blacc Ace, who tried to fight them. C-Swag had found himself a lil homie; that led me to change his name from C-Swag to C-Rocc, for being a solid Crip. Haze, like Dee and Trevon, was also rarely seen. He spent most of his time working on music with Ray and Guero. With no going-ons this gave me time to relax and enjoy life.

It was a sunny Thursday afternoon, Minish invited me, Audio, and Chunk to The Crest Gardens for a spar session. I don't know I why accepted her challenge, knowing very well what I was getting us into. We stood in the grass; me, Audio, and Chunk faced Minish. Audio had no clue we were about to get smacked up. Chunk stood the most chance since he was her apprentice. As for me and Audio, even thought he had the flexibility of a dance and me some training, we were in trouble. "Shi Jak!" Minish commanded. Within a split second she had taken stance and was sparing with Chunk. I didn't waste anytime to join the match. As soon as there was space between her and Chunk, I launched a kick. She grabbed my foot and twisted down, tripped me, and stepped on my other foot pinning me down. Chunk tried to intervene but she ended up slamming him on my chest. "Chunk! Get off me you're heavy!" I demanded. "Shut up Manish, its not my fault!" he responded before rolling over and jumping up. I had to get off the floor because I would lose instantly if she decided to submit me. Audio rushed Minish and which gave me a chance to get free when she moved. She moved to attack Audio. When I stood up I saw the funniest thing. Minish had climbed on Audio's back and had him in a headlock. It was like a monkey swinging in a tall thin tree. It only took a few seconds for him to tap out. "I'm done Manish!" He laughed "That's all you and Chunk." He walked over to a bench and sat down to watch. "We can take her." Chunk said. I looked at him then Minish and thought "No we can't." We stood facing each other again. She took stance then Chunk and I dashed in. Minish twitched it was game over for me. She spun once and hit me in the shoulder with a devastating tornado kick. The hit was hard enough to make me feel like I had bed smacked in the stomach with a bat. "Time out! Stop, stop, stop! I'm done! You win!" I coughed and backed up "I feel like I'ma throw up." Minish and Chunk started laughing. They thought it was hilarious. "Manish you're a dick, you didn't even tell me what we were getting ourselves into!" Audio complained from the bench. I laid out on the grass slowly and took a deep breath. "I didn't know she was going to murk us like that!" I told him. Chunk started laughing harder. "Oh hush Manish, you're such a big baby! That wasn't even that bad!" Minish laughed. She walked over, sat on my chest and slapped me. "You can take more than that!" she teased. "Yeah but not from your Bruce Lee ass," I struggled to say "For a small girl you're pretty heavy." I tapped her and she hopped off. I got up and wiped the grass off. Chunk was still laughing "That was funny Manish, you sounded like you were going to die," he mocked "'Stop! Stop! I'm done!'" He made himself laugh harder by mocking me. Chunk always did that; when he found something funny then made himself laugh harder by repeating it. It was funny when he did that. I walked over to Audio and Minish. "You gunna let him talk about you like that." Minish teased. "Instigator. Hahaha" Audio laughed. They were joking but I guess they wanted me to say something back to Chunk. I thought for a little bit but nothing came to mind. Then I remember how his mom used to get me "Don't worry, I'll get him when we get home." I smiled. "Whatever Manish!" he snapped. Audio and Minish laughed; Chunk's face had turned red from laughing. After that, we walked to Starbucks, got coffee then to the old abandoned farm by the pond. It was an old horse farm that stood looking over the pond but was surrounded by tall cypress trees. There were tire swings hanging from the trees. It was actually a really nice place besides the spiders. This was there first time I had been there in a long time but there was no better time to enjoy it; so we did. We all sat in the swings except Chunk who pushed Minish. We talked about a lot, the weather, food, nature, sports everything. We found out Minish wanted to be an X-Ray technician. We gambled with our health when we joked that she wanted to X-ray bones that she broke in fights. But she told us that it was truly something she wanted to do and that the dojo was just to keep her busy for now; until she got enough money. Audio had no clue what he wanted to be so he was just going to continue to dance until he figured it out. Minish referred him to a Caporiea gym; saying that that would be good for him to learn since he liked dancing. They all knew I wanted to be a chef and own my own restaurant. This had always been my dream since I was young. Chunk said he didn't know what he wanted to do which was fine. He was young. As the day moved slowly along we decided we wanted to search the abandoned farm. Initially Chunk protested but me and Minish assured him everything would be alright. We left the swings to the trail up to the farm. It was a huge grey farm with broken down stables, pigpen, and chicken coops. The farm was overshadowed by low hanging branches and moss hanging from them. There were spider webs between every crack and crevice and few bats were heard chirping from inside the chicken coops. It was interestingly spooky scene even for it being daytime. We decided I would go first then Minish and Chunk and behind them Audio. They all knew I didn't want to go first but I did anyways. As we started walking through and inspecting everything, I wondered if there were any live animals in the farm other than the bats. There had to be, this place was abandoned for years. Chunk behind me picked up a huge stick and walked with it. "There's nothing to see here. And it's really creepy here so maybe we should leave?" Minish asked with a slightly nervous tone. "C'mon Minish, don't get scared! You'd be the one to kick whatever is here." Audio teased. "If there's anything in here." I remarked. "There better not be," Chunk added "Or I'm sorry you guys but I'ma take off running and leave you guys here." I turned around and we all looked at him like he was crazy. "You won't make it out of here." Audio chuckled. "You'll end up lost." I added. "That's what you think." He remarked. We laughed. Minish seemed uninterested in our conversation; she stood there looking around. I glanced around real quick then Audio asked "What is it?" I relayed the question to Minish "What do you see Minish?" She continued to look around then finally replied "Nothing just wondering how long this has been here." "Quite a few years." Audio answered. I looked passed them to the farmhouse. "You guys wanna go in there?" I asked. Everyone froze and looked around. That was a stupid question, they didn't want to go in there but someone was going to anyways. "What are you crazy, Manish?" Chunk asked "There's probably a snake or something in there. I'm not going in there." "But if we go in there you aren't going to stay out here yourself." I shot back. Minish looked at me and said "Let's do it!" After a few more minutes of pointless debating, we decided to go in the same pattern as before. The building was huge, grey, and broken down. The branches from the trees overhead sat on the house and overshadowed the broken window. When the wind blew, the whole house seemed to come to life and screech in pain. We were all nervous as we got closer to the house. It was kinda funny that two gangbangers and a gangleader would be afraid of an abandoned house. I touched the door, there was no doorknob, and pushed it open. Instantly, we were all hit with the smell of wet wood and dust. It was dark but the inside looked considerable newer than the outside but still equally as grey. We all remained dead silent as we spread out and looked inspected the house. We all split ways and I decided to go upstairs. It led to a hallway with 4 doors, 2 on the left, 1 on the right, and one all the way at end. I walked to the one on the right first but the first was locked. I shoved the door but it wouldn't budge. Someone flushed a toilet downstairs and Minish announced there was running water. Next was the first door on the left. I touched the doorknob and it was cold. I twisted the knob and pushed the door open. My heart almost dropped at what I saw. In the corner of the room on a broken bedpost sat a huge Great Horned Owl. The bird was a beautiful black, brown, grey, and white. It's big yellow eyes seemed to being stared through my soul. I was amazed, I had never seen an owl in person and it was beautiful. As I took a step forward, it spread its wings and hissed: warning me I was already too close. I texted Minish and Audio and told them to come upstairs fast and quietly. Within the minute Chunk, Audio, and Minish were behind me admiring the owl. "Oh my gosh." "What's it doing in here?" "It was probably sleeping cuz they're nocturnal." "Can we catch it?" "That thing claw us the fuck up! What the hell, Chunk?" "What?!" "It looks mean." "It's pretty!" "It's mad were in here look at it hissing." "How do you think it got in here?" "Probably came through the broken window. It says here" We conversed amongst ourselves about the owl. It was a wonder for all of us to see but I knew it wanted to be left alone. Without saying anything, I turned around and left to inspect the rest of the rooms. Slowly, I walked to the room at the end of the hall. I pushed the door open and walked into the dimly lit room. Nothing was interesting but my attention was drawn to the bathroom. I turned around looked at the other's backs; they were still staring at the owl. As I walked through the doorway to the bathroom the devil touched me; a huge spider web wrapped around my face. My fear of spiders took over and I panicked. I screamed and wiped at my face. I ran out the room and passed my friends. They were talking to me but I could barely hear them, my heart raced; the thought of the spider crawling on made my adrenaline rush. I ran outside, out the farm, and out to grass. I took my shirt off and rubbed it violently across my face. My energy was completely gone and my heart was pounding, I became light headed, and passed out. After I woke up Minish, Audio and Chunk said I had only passed out for 5 minutes. They seemed mad about me passing out because they didnt know why. I proceeded to tell Minish and Audio about my fear of spider and how I was horrified by the feeling of the web wrapping around my face. They all thought it was funny but I didn't find any of it funny. My fear sprung from when I was young and my uncle threw a tarantula at me. One of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. We returned to the swings and continued swinging and conversing. The weather began changing from warm and sunny to cold and cloudy. It was going to rain, I could smell it. We all decided to go home since it was getting late anyways. Chunk wanted to go back to my sister's house so Minish gave him and Audio a ride home: I decided to walk. This was a bad idea because I knew Marleen situation would run through my head but I did it anyways. On my way home Haze called. He and his mom were tired of his stepfather and had moved out of the house and in with Grace and C-Rocc. There wasn't enough room in the house so Haze gave the room to his mom and asked to live with me. Without hesitation, and because I had an extra room, I said yes.

When I got back to Charnell apartments, Haze was at Cee's house, so I went over and talked to with them for a bit. Haze's mom was funny, she had a thick Filipino accent and often tried to talk street. It was funny when her and Grace tried to talk like us to each other. It was pretty interesting but sometimes I wondered if they were making fun of us. While there I found out C-Rocc had been hanging out with some younger kid which Haze later told me was Cee's newfound lil homie. After about two or three hours of conversing and helping Haze's mom unload her stuff, it hit 9 and Haze decided he wanted to go to my house to unpack his stuff. Before leaving, Haze's mom asked if we wanted anything or wanted help. I declined; Haze assured her he would be okay and he was only a building away and not miles away. Cee decided to stay behind and help set up. Me and Haze bid our farewells and left for my house. Haze didn't have much, maybe a half a room worth of stuff so setting him up in the extra room didn't take long. After the thirty minutes of setting everything up, Haze wanted a cigarette so we decided to sit on the steps in front of my apartment. When we went outside it was raining so we had to stand in front if the door and watch the rain instead. "So you excited to move in and have more freedom?" I asked Haze. He took a long drag then blew the smoke out "Yeah, now I'll be living close to you and Cee. Well actually I'll be living with you so haha." He answered. "Yeah, I'll go get you a key tomorrow. It's a trip, it was hot this morning but now it's cold and raining. I guess its just Marin weather." "I know, why is it like that?" "Have you noticed we get all the seasons here? Spring its warm and rainy, hella animals and shit. Summer is always sunny and hot. Fall is chilly and windy. And winter is just dumbass cold for no reason. I love it. My dad said one winter it actually snowed but that was hella years ago." "Huh. Lucky bastards haha. I wished it would snow during our life time. You think it will?" "Probably but I don't think it'll be snow, snow. Most likely a bunch of a hail." Haze ashed his cigarette. Out of no where Juice walked in front of us with his head down and arm up shielding himself from the rain. We made no movements other than our eyes following him walk past us and out of our view. "Oh. THAT was Juice." Haze said purposely. "I like how we both didn't move so he wouldn't see us, nigga. Hahaha if we don't move he can't see us hahahaha." I joked. "Aye but what the fuck was he doing in here? There's no crack in here. Shouldn't he be hanging around the Halls tryna get a hit or something" "I don't know. Maybe he just came back from Owen and is passing through. Who cares?" "Hmm. I guess. "Really." We sat in silence outside for a nice long while enjoying the fresh air and night sky. Haze and I hadn't had "bonding" time but since he was now living with me we were going to having a lot of that. I often gave him a hard time but that was because I wanted him to do the right thing and stay on top of what was important. It was something no one had done for me. We sat outside for an hour then went inside when we got bored. We sat on the couch in the living room, watched T.V. and talked. It was raining hard so I turned up the heater and told Haze it would probably rain the next few days. He agreed and asked if he could light a blunt. I looked at the clock, it was almost 11 so I agreed. While he lit his blunt, I went up stairs to get my codeine. Nia was laying on my bed so I petted her, got my lean and went downstairs into the kitchen. Nia followed me downstairs and began pawing at the front door. "What's wrong, Nia?" I asked her. I walked to the door and looked through the peephole; Dee was standing outside, texting. I opened the door and looked at her "Uh, what are you doing standing out here?" She looked at me and I could tell there was something, I could sense it. I grabbed her hand and hugged her "What's wrong?" she didn't answer. "Can I stay with you?" she asked. "Of course, you know you can, why would you ask?" "No, I mean can I live with you for awhile?" The answer didn't leave my lips; I just stepped aside and let her in the house. Haze was paying attention to us but couldn't hear what was going on. Dee sat on the couch next to him and he passed the blunt to her and she took a hit. She told us that her and her mother fought, she was tired of the pointless fighting and wanted to leave. There was no problem with her staying with me other than there were only two rooms but that was nothing. "Dee, you can have my room for tonight." I told her. "You sure? I can sleep on the couch." She replied. I shook my head "No, take my room; I'll sleep on the couch." We agreed that she would take my room and I would sleep on the couch. That night was the beginning of a new home life. Now two of my closest friends were living with me and it was going to be interesting.

The next morning was cold, ugly, and raining. I woke up earlier than everyone else so I decided to cook breakfast. French toast, bacon, and hash browns were for breakfast. Nia had slept downstairs with me so she accompanied me into the kitchen. "I hope they like this Nia cuz if they don't they are shit outta luck." I told her. She sat there staring at me, watching everything I was doing. "What? What do you want? You want bacon don't you? Alright here you go, Spoiled Brat." I threw a raw piece of bacon on the floor; she snatched it up and took off running. The thought of being in the house all day wasn't all that bad, we had a full day to kick back and relax. It was kind of strange though, considering that Dee had been absent to me for the longest time and she was now living with me. This meant I was going to get a chance to find out what she was up to. I didn't feel like waiting for them to wake up so when I was done cooking I woke them up and told them to come and eat. Together, we ate in the living room and watched TV. Dee told us she had been so busy because she watching my cousin sell weed. This caught me by surprise because the thought of Dee accompanying Trevon to sell weed never crossed my mind. Ultimately it wasn't my choice and we all knew Trevon would take good care of her so there were no worries. Haze did have his protest but kept them to himself. We decided that I would do the cooking, Dee would take out the trash and Haze would wash dishes. Sundays would be Cleaning Day; we would take a good portion of the day to clean the whole house. There also was the issue of the bathroom; 2 guys and 1 girl. Dee demanded that the bathroom be cleaned every night so Haze volunteered to do it. Everything else would be left for me to decide. After enjoying breakfast, Haze washed the dishes, and we all sat together. Dee suggested we go cruising that night since it had been months since we went cruising together. Without hesitation we all agreed, it was going to be like "the old days" all the idea of it was amazing.

Later that day, I taught them to make cookie dough from scratch, we wrestled, Alexx came over and hung out, and we went to help Haze's mom unpack. C-Rocc came with us home and Trevon came over. Together, Dee, Cee, Haze, Trevon, Alexx and I all went cruising that night.

Higher End of The Scale

The following week, right after Smurf was released from the hospital, mine and Trevon's uncle passed away of lung cancer. We were hit hard, especially Trevon. Our uncle was like his dad and one of his favorite people. This was the first time anyone I was close to had died and to me and to Trevon, it was unreal, unbelievable. It felt like we could still get in the car with him and crack jokes. It felt like we could still go out and eat breakfast with him. I realized it was because he was still there with us, looking over Trevon as he always did. In memory of him, Trevon get a tattoo that said strength with the lung cancer ribbon as the "e". Every week we would go to his gravesite and eat and talk with our uncle.

To keep my mind on earth I began talking to an old best friend from high school named Melissa. She was an 18 year old Mexican girl with long straight black hair. We often went on small dates to different restaurants around town or just went on walks together. One Friday, while we were out at the coffee shop down the street from my apartments, we ran into Tailz, Ratt, and Isis outside of the shop. Even though my hatred for them had long since passed I still wanted to test them; see if they were still tripping. It looked like Isis and Ratt were now dating because she clung to his arm and stood close. It wouldn't have surprised me if they were since that was the kind of guys she liked. Tailz knew Mel so he avoided my gaze by hugging and briefly conversing with her but Ratt wasn't so lucky. Isis conversed with me while holding his hand. I intended to make it awkward for him. When the false pleasantries ended, Tailz surprised me when he walked passed me and shook my hand then they walked off down my street. I really thought they would hold a grudge. For a moment I was lost in my thoughts. "So hey, what was that about?" Mel asked me. "Huh, what was what about?" I asked with a smug smile. I couldn't hide it from Mel, she knew me way too well. "I seen you looking at them all crazy, don't try to hide it." She teased. "We previously had a few altercations with them." I admitted. I didn't realize that I was also admitting that my staring at them was me testing them. Mel shook her head and looked at her coffee. "So when are you going to teach me to make cookie dough?" she asked. I loved Mel's appetite; it fit my love to cook well. She would always eat anything I cooked and asked for more. "We can go now." I said excited. "Well I gotta finish my coffee first!" she laughed. "I know, don't worry." I replied. Since Dee and Haze had moved in everything went good for me. Every Wednesday night was barbeque night; I would barbeque and invite Trevon, Smurf, Alexx, Violet, Minish and a few other over to eat with us. After Sunday mornings of cleaning the house and spending the afternoon relaxing we would cook a huge dinner and invite Grace, Haze's mom, my sister Necia and my grandma, and Dee's sister over for dinner; and we'd all share dinner together. It was funny because Haze hated doing the dishes those nights. Dee was around a lot more and when she did disappear she told us she was going with Trevon. Them living in the apartments gave me more time to do stuff like spend time with my grandma and go out on dates like I was with Mel. When Mel and I were done with our coffee, we left back to the apartments. Half way back Mel seen a puppy and got so happy she nearly had a panic attack. It was good for a laugh because it was just like Melissa to become over excited over something so small. It had always been funny. We got back to my house and to my surprise my neighbors were outside on the steps talking. "Look, there he is now." Gary chuckled. Gary lived in the apartment to on my right. He was a 27 year old tall Black and Puerto Rican man with long black dreads and green eyes. He lived with his girlfriend Jessica, a 26 year old Hawaiian and Mexican woman with straight black hair and strange eyes that often seemed to be purple but I had never paid too much attention to what they truly were. "Aye what's up?" I shook hands with Gary and then Devon. "I was just telling Devon we should barbeque tonight." He answered. Devon was tall, very muscular 32 year old Black man who, like Gary, also had long dreads. He lived in the building front of mine with his wife Jazzlyn and their daughter Jessica. Jazzlyn was 32 year old, Korean with long black hair. Their daughter Jessica was 2 years old. They were good people. Gary and Jessica had been living there long before I had moved in; they helped me move in when I did. They had had been together for 15 years. Gary and I were a lot alike, it was crazy and Jessica was an exact fit. They worked as vets and owned an owl and an iguana. I didn't know what they did in their free time at home; I did often hear strange sounds from their house though. They were an interesting couple. Devon and Jazzlyn had recently moved in. Devon told me he was once in the military he and his family did a lot of moving around and only recently decided to settle in Marin. Devon worked in SeaBlue City at a restaurant and Jazzlyn stayed home and took care of their daughter Jessica. They seemed like an average family except they were always flying out of country. "Yeah. I'm down." I responded "I'm not bout to buy any meat though." Melissa shifted next to me. "It's okay; I plan on buying a lot of meat. So invite a lot of people." Devon answered "I think Johnny and Monique should be out here tonight." Monique and Johnny were Devon and Jazzlyn's friends from Cuba. "That's why we came up with the idea to barbeque tonight." Mel got excited and asked "Can I come?!" Gary smirked and said "Yeah, Devon did say invite a lot of people." "Yay!" Mel squealed I realized I started a conversation without introducing her. "Oh, guys this is Mel, Mel this is my neighbors Gary and Devon." I introduced. They shook hand and greeted her. "So is this your new girlfriend, Manish?" Gary asked me. Devon chuckled. "Naw, she's my best friend from high school." I answered. "What's wrong with me being your girlfriend?" Mel teased. Gary joined in "Yeah Manish. What's wrong with her being her girlfriend? Hm? She's pretty!" he added. Before I could answer, Devon asked "What happened to that girl Marleen that you were dating?" I shook my head and shrugged "It didn't work out." I didn't feel like explaining and they could tell so they didn't question why. "I'll beat her up!" Mel offered "I'll punch her HARD." Gary and Devon laughed. It was funny but I knew she would do it so I didn't want encourage her. "No, it's okay. She don't matter. Where's Jazzlyn and Jessica? I haven't seen them in a while?" I asked Devon. "They went grocery shopping. They’ll be back in an hour." He answered. Jazzlyn and their daughter were around more than Devon was so I was more used to seeing them than him. "Yeah," Gary added "They went to go buy some food for tonight." "And your Jessica? Where is she?" I asked Gary. "There are two Jessicas?" Mel asked. "Uhhh yeah, well Gary's girlfriend's name is Jessica and so is Devon's daughter. So yeah." I answered "Ohh." Mel replied. I turned to Gary for his answer. "She went to go see her brother Max out in Sucio, she'll be back tonight for the barbeque." He answered. "Oh. Alright well its bout that time me and Mel in, I still gotta get ready for the barbeque and teach Melissa how to make cookie dough. Do you guys know if Dee or Haze is home" I asked. Devon shook his head and said no but Gary answered "I seen Haze leave about 20minutes before you came. He didn't say where he was going though." He shrugged. "Alright." I responded. Me and Mel said goodbye then went inside. Immediately I gave Mel the ingredients to make the cookie dough and told her to make them. She failed the first time so I helped her the second time. It had become a trip down memory lane. We talked about when we met, things we did in school, and crazy things we said. It made me miss high school somewhat. But something inside me buried that deep down and the same moment I missed it I got over it. We talked about our lives and how they changed so much of out high school. The talk was great but I didn't like the regression into the past so I changed the subject to the cookie dough. Mel then went on a spree about how much she like my cooking. It made me feel good to know she remembered my cooking. After we put the cookies in the oven decided to search my house for Nia. I decided to call Dee and Haze to find out where they were at. When Dee answered she said she was with Trevon in Sucio and she would be would be home soon. This really picked at my interest as to what she was always doing with him. I knew they were dating but she was always coming and going at random times. It was pure curiosity, no worries; we all knew that she was in good hands with my cousin. Next was Haze. He said Blu-Roll sent him, C-Rocc and another EQC member to the Eastside of town to pick a package up then he had to go to the Halls Of Hell. That pissed me off to hear that Haze and Cee got sent to the Halls without my knowing. I shrugged it off to Haze and told him about the barbeque but I was still upset. After he hung up I called Breaker Loc and told him to meet Haze and Cee where ever they were at. For a moment, I thought then decided I wanted to see Nicci so I called her and invited her to the barbeque. She told me she wanted to go so I gave her Dee's number that way they would pick her up before returning to Marin. I decided to call and invite Minish, Ray, and even let Elania come. After those phone calls, Mel came rushing downstairs saying she had to leave to go help her mom but she would be back for the food. We briefly hugged and as she was leaving Chunk walked in the house. I finished the phone calls, took the cookies out of the oven, and then went to talk to Chunk. He told me about his Tae Kwon Do class and about the different girlfriends he had just picked up. It was cute but I knew too well that a girlfriend was a good distraction and he was trying to have 5 or 6. He asked what he should do and I told him to not even worry about a girlfriend and to just have friends. He then proceeded to ask if Melissa had boyfriend; I never laughed so hard in my life. He was back at it again. I took the next few hours to spend with my nephew. We talked about putting a koi pond in our grandma's backyard; something we had always thought would be cool. Going to Japan and studying Ninjutsu; that was my idea. The fact that were always huge turkeys walking around Marin that came from the woods that surrounded the east and south sides of town and how we should hunt one down. We talked about getting our asses handed to us by Minish. He told me that we wanted to have a sword collection like mine. I told him I wanted hair like his. This led to our typical shit talking and exaggerated threats. We would go at it for awhile then return to a regular conversation. He asked for one of my swords and initially I was reluctant but I decided to give him the first sword I ever got; a full sized all black katana. He was in awe that it was now in his possession and I was happy that he was happy. People always said family first and it was true more me. In the world full of craziness I knew I always had him and my siblings over anyone. After we discussed the swords, Chunk wanted to call my brother. We all shared a good conversation.

That night a lot of people showed up to the barbeque. Minish, Alexx, Flex, Dee, Jazzlyn, Jessica, Haze, Melissa, C-Rocc, Elania, Nicci, Ray, Johnny, Trevon, and Monique were all in attendance. We decided to have the barbeque in front of our apartment building instead of the middle of the apartments since it was night time. I mean who had a barbeque at 9 at night. Initially it seemed like there wouldn't be enough food but when Dee and Trevon came with 40 dollars worth of meat; that washed the doubt away. It was so much fun having a new cast of people together. We all ate and conversed in the warm summer night and since I wasn't the only one barbequing, I got to socialize. Monique and Johnny were an interesting couple. Monique was a plus sized Cuban model and Johnny was a bar owner. I was talking to Johnny and he told me him and Devon were like brothers they had been through a lot together and Jazzlyn and Jessica were like family to him and Monique. Devon was barbequing and Jazzlyn was talking with Melissa. When I asked about Devon being in the military Monique frowned and Johnny shrugged then they walked away. This made me wonder if Devon was in the military at all or did something else. Flex made it a point to come and talk to me. Apparently he had something important for me to know. He asked me if I knew about the new Filipinos that moved in from Sucio He seemed surprised when I said I hadn't heard about them. He said they were a big family that was related to the Dark Ways Piru gang and he thought they may cause trouble. I reassured him nothing would happen; they were only one family and couldn't do much in a town with 3 Crip gangs. He seemed unsure at first but accepted my answer. Before we got a chance to discuss anything else Alexx came and pulled him away to smoke. I really didn't understand how they could be high all the damn time but it was their choice. I sat down on the steps and watched Devon switch with Gary and began to take his place barbequing. Somehow I found myself watching Nicci, she was talking to Ray. For whatever reason I called her over to me with my hand extended and open to her. She took my hand with her and I pulled her in and hugged her. She said what but I didn't answer. She sat between my legs on the step below me. Our friendship always had a slight intimate sense and this was part of it. Chunk stood above me and asked if Nicci and I were dating. We both said no at the same time then glared at each other. Chunk said it looked like we were dating. It was funny because Chunk had always got close to whoever I was dating, and it never really occurred to me until then how much he would follow my love life. Dee, Trevon, and C-Rocc walked over to join the conversation. Dee tried to punch my shoulder but I caught her fist; if she had hit me I knew she was going to fuck my arm up and I told her. We all laughed. Cee called her a bully and she ended up punching him. Like a bully would. Cee was always second to Dee's abuse, I was first. Trevon and I discussed when we would go visit our uncle's grave and other family business. We hadn't had the chance to have a conversation in a while because we were both busy with our own lives and going about our own business. It was decided we need to spend more time together. During the conversation I noticed that Dee would inspect Nicci when Nicci was looking away. To disrupt her I asked her what she was thinking about. She lied and replied nothing. Dee, like Chunk, took an interest in who I may be dating or talking to but in a more protective way. It didn't bother me because me and Chunk were the same way with her but I did move Nicci from here she was sitting. Both Dee and Chunk were both wrong if they were thinking there was romantic feelings between Nicci and I. Over by Gary's front door I noticed that Minish had isolated herself with Jessica and they were talking. This was good; I could ask Minish what color Jessica's eyes were when they were done talking. Haze and Elania stayed close to the barbeque pit talking with Gary and Devon. When Jazzlyn and Melissa joined them I called Haze over and told him to go inside and make me and Trevon some lean and bring it out. The night was amazing. It was food, family, and friends. I was enjoying the easiness of it all, there was nothing to worry about. Seeing all my friends happy made me happy. When 11PM hit; Ray, Haze, and Nicci stopped everyone and performed a couple songs they had been working on. It was really good, better than I had imagined when I connected the three of them. After the 15 minute show no one clapped by quietly cheered so they didn't wake up our three other neighbors. By 12AM the food was done and everyone decided to go home. I thanked everyone before they departed ways. Devon and Jazzlyn wanted to make sure Jessica was still asleep and Monique and Johnny wanted to cure their jet lag. Flex and Alexx hitched a ride with Minish back to the Northside. Melissa got a ride from Ray to Eastside. Gary and Jessica were quick to return home. Cee walked one building over home. Haze asked me if Elania could stay the night at the house. I was reluctant to give an answer but when Dee told me she was going to leave with Trevon, I said okay. I remembered Nicci had to go home to Sucio but her and Trevon said they previously talked about it and they would take Nicci home at 2AM. I agreed and we said bye to Trevon and Dee. After they left me, Nicci, Haze, Chunk, and Elania went inside. Haze and Elania stayed down stairs. We decided to watch a movie me, Chunk, and Nicci went to my room. Nicci surprised me during the barbeque by sharing my cup lean and asking for more; we were both mellowed out. Me and Nicci laid on my bed, Chunk laid on my couch, and watched The Hangover.

The next morning I woke up and Chunk wasn't in the room anymore. It took me awhile to gather myself; it felt like I was waking up from a codeine coma. The blanket felt weird on my skin, I looked under the covers; I was in my boxers and Nicci only her underwear. The sun bled through my blinds as Nia dropped from the window ceil to greet me Good Morning. I turned over petted her, looked at my phone and panicked. "Nicci! Wake up! It's 7!" I told her. She shuffled behind me then jetted upright, said "Oh shit!" and raced to get her clothes on. The time and her getting in trouble completely I called Dee and heard her phone in the next room. "What the fuck?" I thought. I put my shorts and a tank top on and went to Haze's room. Chunk was asleep on his bed. Dee had left her phone on Haze's dresser so I picked it up, put it in my pocket and returned to my room. Nicci was fixing her hair in my mirror "Was Dee in there?" she asked. "No but I'ma call Ray right now." I answered. "Oh my god, my parents are going to freaking kill me." she stressed. There was a still strange sense of awkwardness there so I called Ray and got her the ride home to Sucio. "Ray will be here in a bit. He was already up I won't take him long. Just tell your parents you and Ray were working on music." I told her she let out a big sigh and looked around the room. "Alright Manish, I'll call you and let you know what happened." "Alright Nicci." we hugged and she left my room, went downstairs and left. Like Nicci did before, I sighed and looked around my room. I opened my blinds and the window then looked at my bed; it mess but I left it that way. Nia followed me into the bathroom as I washed my face. My head was still somewhat on slow-mo. As I brushed my teeth in the mirror my leg banged Dee's phone against the cabinet. Her phone vibrated multiple times. Curiosity got the best of me and when I was done washing my face, I went and sat on Haze's bed next to sleeping Chunk and read through Dee's text messages. She had a lot of text messages from random numbers that weren't saved asking to buy weed. At first the concept of people asking Dee to sell them weed didn't make sense but after a minute of thinking I realized what was happening. She was selling weed with Trevon. This had explained why she hadn't asked me for weed and always had money to fill her gas tank. She needs to get a job I thought. Chunk woke up to me sitting on the bed and I asked "When did you leave my room?" "You don't remember you brought me in here. I was asleep and you carried me in here." He answered. There was no memory of that event in my head. "For real? I don't even remember." I said. "Well you woke me up in the middle of the night and you woke me up now. I'm going back to bed." He yawned. As he pulled the covers over his head, Nia jumped on the bed, rubbed her head on him, and laid down She was as close to him as she was me. There wasn't much else to do but go into my room lay down so I did. There was nothing to do other than clean my room and the house. I remembered my conversations with everyone from last night and everyone. When I got in my bed, I smiled at a thought that ran through my head before dozing off.

Sunday came along and me and Trevon went to have breakfast and replace the flowers at our uncle's grave. I made the typical breakfast of bacon, hash browns, and eggs and we to his grave and ate. It was like the weekends when we were children and we would go to his house, he would cook for us and take us places. We always reminisced those times and it was hard being at the grave reminded that the reality was that he was gone. Trevon always insisted we got blue flowers to put on his grave and wouldn't have it any other way. Trying to imagine his pain was the hardest. He showed less emotion than me but underneath it all he was hurting. On this particular day we had finished eating and my cousin laid the flowers down. As he did, I seen a tear run down his cheek and his hand was shaking. He mumbled something and stood up. I found myself becoming teary eyed as well. Before we left, Trevon whispered "I can't wait to see you again." The words he spoke expressed more emotion than imaginable. For a second I understood what he felt. I miss my uncle as much as he did. After we got done spending time at his grave I asked Trevon to drop me off at my Grandma's house on the Eastside. When I got there she was in her room watching Novellas. I went to the family room and looked at all our family pictures. She has a bunch of pictures of my oldest sister Necia. My older siblings were her favorites. It was funny to see them as kids and how their looks changed so much. At the same time she had pictures of me and how much I changed. Everything changes to fast, it was important to enjoy the important things when you had them. I went into my Grandma's room, sat on the bed, and watched Novellas with her.

The same night for Sunday dinner we had Melissa, C-Rocc, and Alexx over. At the dinner table, we discussed the events for the week and the things we could do together. "We could have a movie night." Dee suggested. "We have those already." I said. "What about like a beach day?" Mel asked. "That's not a bad idea." Dee admitted. "Yeah I like that idea, get everyone together and go to the beach." I added. "Will there be food?" Mel asked. Everyone looked at me because they were expecting me to cook or barbeque. "Only if you guys buy the food. I'm not finna be buying food for everyone." I complained. Alexx laughed. "No one said you had to." Cee shot at me. "Nigga, shut yo ass up." I snapped. "ANYWAYS." Dee said to change the subject. "Oh my gosh, you guys are so mean to each other haha." Mel chuckled. "No, mean is Dee punching us. For no damn reason, laughing about then making us do something for her. That's mean." Cee answered. "Dee is a bully!" I added. "Sad day when Dee beats all of us up" Haze joked. Dee cut us a look that would've cut a diamond. "Technically she's the only girl around you guys all the time so what she says goes," Alexx said "That's just the way it works." There was no argument against it until Cee look at Haze and I laughed. "You guys are funny." Mel said. "We talk shit all the time." I told her. "I can tell." She replied. "Yeah, we're like one big ole family." Haze said. "We ARE family. Shit, we all live in the same house." Dee corrected. "I can't imagine living with two guys though." Alexx said. "It can't be that bad. I wouldn't mind staying them." Mel said. This started a discussion about Haze's smoking habits and me making a mess when I cook. It was funny because me and Haze couldn't deny it. I did make it a point to remind Dee that I could do whatever I want in my own house but she loved having a bunch of guys that did whatever she wanted. She scoffed and we all laughed. Alexx expressed that she would be spending a lot more time with Dee since she didn't have to watch her little brother anymore. That answered why she had been absent for so long but then again I never really asked. Dee was pleased to hear this. We all were, we all enjoyed Alexx's presence  "Oh, Dee you think you can take me and Elania out to Sucio tomorrow?" Haze asked her. Me and Cee looked at each other. "Yeah, sure. I don't have anything to do tomorrow. Where do you have to go?" she asked. "The mall," Haze answered "I wanna get her a gift. You know, just something small. It's our anniversary tomorrow. " Mel became excited "That's so cute! She's lucky, I wish I had a boyfriend to get me something." she said. Out the corner of my eye I seen C-Rocc turn his head and stared at me. I turned around and punched him. "Ouch, nigga damn," He chuckled "What was that for?" "I see the way you looked at me!" I answered. "Manish you should get Melissa something!" Alex said. "No, I was just saying, but you can bake me a cake!" Mel smiled. Everyone laughed, that was Mel's appetite again. "Now you got two girls telling you what to do." Dee teased. "'Now you got two girls telling you what to do'," I mocked. "Yeah, love you guys too." It was moments like these that made me happy to have all my friends together. At about 10PM dinner ended, everyone left but Mel; she asked to stay the night so I let her. Dee, Haze, me and Mel all played videos games until about 1AM; when Dee asked Haze to smoke. They both asked Mel if she wanted to smoke and to my surprise she accepted. Since they were smoking I decided to lean. I stayed in the kitchen and they went to Haze's room to smoke. When we were done, Dee stayed downstairs with Haze watching TV and Mel followed me to my room. For whatever reason, I stood at my window looking outside at the empty street. Mel sat at the head of my bed on my pillows. Something made me want to call my brother but I knew he was asleep. I threw my phone on the couch and laid out on the bed with my head on Melissa's lap. "You okay?" she asked. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just wanna talk to my brother but he's asleep." "Can't you just text him?" she asked. "Yeah but I'll just call him in the morning." I turned on my stereo and we laid in the dark listening to the music. Mel leaned back against the wall. I reached up and put my hand over Mel's face and she slapped me on the chest. We laughed. I started to tickle her sides, she laughed and squirmed. I lifted my head to bite her chin but it ended up turning into a kiss. She turned her head down and kissed me back. I took a deep breath and I felt her body quiver. We continued to kiss and I put my hands on her waist then started to take her shirt off. She took a deep long breath and her body became warm. She pulled me closer; I unhooked her bra, and reached over and locked my door.

The next morning, I was awoken my Nia scratching at my door. I looked at my phone and it was 8AM. My legs and whole lower body was sore. Nia's meowing was getting louder, I guess she could sense I was awake, and it was waking Melissa up. I reached over unlocked and opened the door. Nia ran in and jumped into the window. When the sun came through the blinds Mel shuffled next to me so I put my hand on her and waited for her to go back to sleep. When her breathing slowed down I got up, and got dressed. I watched Mel sleep for a little bit; she looked pretty laying there asleep peacefully. I decided to leave the room and go downstairs; Nia followed closely. My whole lower body ached like I just had a wrestling match with a Grizzly Bear. Haze was passed out on the couch which meant he let Dee take his room. Since everyone was still asleep I decided to make breakfast then call my brother. Nia meowed, I knew she wanted some food, so I scrambled raw eggs and fed it to her. After I was done cooking breakfast, I went outside and sat on the steps to talk on the phone. When I got outside Jazzlyn and her daughter Jessica leaving their house "Good morning Mash!" baby Jessica said with a smile. It was so cute that she couldn't say my name. "Good morning Jessica, good morning Jazzlyn." I greeted. "Good morning Manish." Jazzlyn replied. After they left I called my brother. "Top of the morning, Lil Bruh." He answered. "Good morning." I replied. "How did you sleep?" He asked. Mel sleeping in my bed ran through my head almost instantly. "I slept okay. My homegirl spent the night, she slept in my bed." I answered. He laughed. "Man, how are Chunk and Haze? I remember you telling me Haze moved in with you or something like that." He asked "They are good, Chunk is beasting in that Tae Kwon Do class. He's the smallest one but he be beating the older kids down." "Is that right? That lil nigga probably got a lot of energy. It's good that he's doing that." "Yeah and Haze is pretty good. He's in the house asleep right now." "Damn, this late?" "You think this is late? He probably won't wake up until 10." "Wake that nigga up when you go back inside. He don't need to be sleeping in that long. Let 'em know I said it." "Hahaha that nigga is gunna be hella sad and gunna come outside to smoke a cigarette. Oh well." I laughed. We laughed for a cool minute knowing how Vince would react to being woken up early. "I can't sleep in, sleeping in to me is like waking up at 8. I usually wake up at like 6." I told him. "I wake up around 5, do about 2,000 push up, get cleaned up then get ready for breakfast." "2,000? Damn, what the fuck nigga? Too damn many. Never in my life will I do 2,000 pushups." "Well I mean all there is to do is read and work out, I have to balance out the two. I do about 5,000 pushups a day and read for probably 4 hours a day. It's always good to pick up a dictionary and step a nigga's vocabulary up. Whoop a nigga's ass with words alone." "Yeah that's true. I read a book about a week ago, it was called 'Autobiography of an LA Gangbanger' by Sanyika Shakur, it was pretty good." "Yeah I've heard of it, just haven't got the chance to get my hands on it." "Yeah, it's pretty good." "So what ya'll smoking on out there? I know your able to get your hands on some good shit." "Uhh, Coconut Kush and Blue Raspberry Kush." "Damn sound like some good shit and you still don't smoke?" "Naw." "I remember when you was little you stayed in my face when I was smoking." "For real?!" "Yeah, asking all kind of questions. 'Why does that smell like that?' I used to get mad and be like "Man, if you don't get outta here with that.'" He replied. We both started laughing hysterically. That just sounded like how exactly it would've happened. "Shit nigga and to this day I don't smoke hahaha." I said after we stopped laughing. "Well that's good, that's definitely a plus. What about Chunk has he tried to smoke?" "No and he better not or I'll kick that nigga in the chest." "Hahaha. I remember when I did that to you. You came in the room swinging your plastic Power Ranger swords at me and I put my foot on your chest." We started laughing again. I could see that happening because I did the exact same thing to Chunk when we were younger. "That's too funny. Your mom got mad when I did it too." I told him. "Naw, hell naw, that's Necia's mom." He fired back. The laughter continued. "Did I tell you about what she did to Chunk?" I asked. "What?" he asked. "Chunk was like 'One time, my mom flicked me so hard in the lips, they started to bleed.' And Necia was like 'It wasn't my fault your lips were chapped'" we both laughed. We talked for another 15minutes and my brother said "Alight Lil Bruh, let me get off this phone, they are about to serve breakfast." "Alright." "I love you, ce safe and call me whenever you need me." "Alright, love you too" "Gone." "Gone." After hanging up with my brother, I went inside, woke up Haze, Dee, and Melissa and we had breakfast together.

With a Sword against an Axe

The next week and a half went good. Everything was calm until an early Thursday afternoon when me, C-Rocc and Breaker Loc were chilling in the middle of my apartments. Flex and Haze came rushing into the apartments; Haze with a black eye and Flex with blood on his shirt. "Oh shit, nigga!" Breaker said. It was clear they had been on the bad end of an altercation by the way they were breathing. "What the fuck happened?" I asked. The whole left side of Haze's face was swollen and Flex was out of breath but they both explained what had happened. Flex and Haze were in McDonald's about to leave when 3 Filipino guys and a Black guy came up to them claiming to be Blood and asked them if they wanted to be Bloods. Flex said he didn't bang but Haze got mad and banged Crip on them. They got mad, backed down and went to order food but as soon as Haze and Flex left outside then attacked them. One Blood grabbed Haze and two others punched him. Before Flex could get hit, he pulled out his knife and stabbed two of them and Haze and Flex ran back to apartments. "Cuzz, You didn't pull the strap on them?!" I asked Haze. Breaker was pissed, he was pacing back and forth and Cee was trying to calm him down. "Naw cuz there was a bunch of little kids in the little play area right there!" Haze responded; he did the smarter thing. "I told you, man," Flex said "it's the Bloods from Sucio! Those niggas are out here and trying to cause trouble." Flex was right he did tell me and I ignored him; it pissed me off. "Those niggas are pussies, how you gunna try to be hard but jump someone! I don’t like that shit!" Breaker added, shaking his head. "You do know we’re standing in the middle of the apartments and gunna end up bringing unwanted attention, right?" Cee said. He was right. Plenty of people could mistake Haze's black eye for something we may have done. "Alright, let's go back to my house." I said. "I'm bout to go smoke so I'll meet up with you guys in a bit," Breaker mumbled as he started walked off. "Yeah, I think I'm gunna go smoke with Breaker." Flex said as he slowly walked behind Breaker. "Alright." I agreed. This hindered getting everything together but it was probably a good idea for him to go smoke. My mind was flustered and filled with so many thought but what was important was getting Haze back to the house. "Alright we'll meet up later!" Cee told them. We got back to my house and put some ice on Haze's eye. It was 4:30pm."Where's Dee?" Haze asked. "I don't know; she left to SeaBlue earlier." I told him "She should be back later. Why? Nigga don't even think about going back their strapped. If you do, I will fuck you up." I threatened. I was serious, I knew Haze would do something retarded like go back over there and try to shoot the niggas. "Naw nigga, I was just asking." He lied. Cee handed a cup of lean to Haze. "So what now?" Cee asked. I thought for a moment but there was too much we needed to do. "Alright, Haze wrap your head with a bandana, we're going to Braid's and tell him about this." I decided. "What are we suppose to do after that?" Haze asked. "I don't know. I really don't." I answered.

Me, Haze, and C-Rocc waited outside of Braid's house. Breaker Loc decided to take Flex to Crest Garden Heights to tell Blu-Roll what had happened. Haze wore the bandana on his head but hung over his left eye. Braid came outside and greeted us with the Crip shake. "So what's good, my niggas?" He asked. I signed and signaled for Haze to lift his bandana and show his black eye. "Bloods did that." I said. "What Bloods; the old ass Black Ace Bloods? Those niggas aren't even active." He said. "It was some Filipino Bloods from Sucio that moved out here not too long ago." Haze answered "the black dude just stood there and watched them. Braid looked at me and I said "They are the Dark Ways Piru. The ones I told you about that I got into it with when I lived out there. Apparently a family of them moved out here about three weeks ago." Braid looked passive at this then frowned "Wait a minute, didn't you say there was a Black guy with them? What did he look like?" Braid asked Haze. "Uh tall, bald, and really skinny." He answered. Braid sat on the steps "That's Sick Gauge's little brother. They probably recruited the Filipino's from Sucio." He responded. "What the hell," Cee asked "for what?" "To start up a Blood gang again." I answered for Braid. It made sense, they laid low to find out the gang situation in Marin and came across the old Bloods in the process. "Those Black Ace niggas had little brothers and cousins our age that 'backed up' Blood. That probably means with the 7 or 8 that came out here they have enough to have some power behind them." Cee assessed. "Alright, I'ma go to the Nortenos, tell them, see what they plan on doing, and we'll go from there," Braid said "But let me go hit Blu-Roll first." "Breaker already went with Flex; he was with Haze when it happened." I informed him. "Alright, then Blu-Roll can go to AAC and find out if they know anything." Braid said. "Naw, we'll handle that. Just have Blu inform all the loccs in Crest Gardens." I told him. He agreed. After our conversation, he left for Owen Street and me, Haze and Cee left for my house. Haze was quiet the whole time except when someone asked him a question. There was no blaming him, I was mad too. The more I pictured how it happened, the more it pissed me off. Once everything was going good for us and there was peace, this came along and fucked it up. Cee took Haze to his room top smoke while I stayed in the living and called Minish. "Hey Manny!" she answered. "Hey Minish, whatchu doing?" "Not much, you?" "Eh, well that's what I called you for, I have information you need to hear." "What is it?" "Earlier today, Flex and Haze got jumped by some Filipino Bloods by McDonalds. They are the Dark Ways Piru from Sucio, the ones that killed your cousin. They cliqued up with the Black Ace Bloods." "We got our payback for them killing my cousin, what makes them think it's smart to come out here and start banging? That's stupid." "Pistols and politics. We told Braid about the incident not too long ago and he went to the Northerners to tell them about it. He was gunna have Blu-Roll go to ya'll but I told him I would do it instead." "Hmm. Well there's not much known so it's kinda a stale mate right now. Just as soon as you guys find something out or decide something, call me and let me know." "Alright." "Okay Bye Manny-" "Wait, Minish!" "Yeah?" "Let a few of the AAC members know. The Bloods were Filipino." "Okay Manny." "Alright, I'll call you as soon as we find something out." "Okay, Bye." "Bye." After I got off the phone Haze and Cee were still in Haze's room smoking so I went upstairs into my room and sat next to Nia who was sleeping on my bed. Nia woke up, meowed and rubbed her head on me. I petted her and said "Hey Nia." She flopped over next to me. There was so much on my mind; the only thing left to do was to wait for Braid to get back to the apartments.

Later that night around 8 o'clock Braid called me while me, Haze, and C-Rocc were sitting in the living room. He told us he met us with the Northsidin Marin O.G.s Solid Locz and IV and the Nortes; him and the other O.G.s came up with a plan in response to the Bloods. He said he also got some info that they had formed their gang and called it Dark Palace Bloods. He, Blu-Roll, Ice Locc and Dragoon were calling meetings of all the active Earthquake Crips at 12pm. That meant me, Cee, and Haze had to go. I called Minish to inform her but she didn't pick up; she was teaching her class. I called Dee and asked her when she was coming home. She said she wasn't coming home cuz she was going out of town to SharkCity with Alexx but she would be home in the morning. I told her it was important for her to come in the morning because she needed to attend the meeting. She asked what it was about, I told she'll she, bid her a safe trip and got off the phone. Since Dee wasn't coming home I told C-Rocc to stay the night so we could ready for in the morning. There was no telling what the info we were going to find out but I couldn't wait.

The next morning all of the Earthquake Crips who lived on the Southside and the Charnell Apartments met with Braid in the Charnell Apartments' Multi-Purpose room. Any Earthquake Crips from Eastside, Crest Gardens or the Heights met with Blue-Roll in Crest Gardens. And Any Earthquake Crips from the Westside or the ones that worked in the The Halls of Hell met with Ice Locc and Dragoon on the Westside. Trevon decided to attend our meeting just to see what was going on but Dee didn't show. Regardless, my circle was there; Breaker Loc, C-Rocc, and Haze were there. At the meeting, Braid told us he got his information from a permanently retired Tongan Blood. Since there was now all different gangs in Marin, he told us All EQC members were to wear all Navy Blue with Grey or Black. The standard outfit would be Navy blue hoodies, black 501s, and blue chucks. With hats were worn they'd have to be navy Milwaukee Brewer's hat "M" standing for Marin. This was to identify us apart from the other Crips. The AAC members were going to wear Sky Blue Nikes, 501s, and White or Sky Blue tees. Their hats were the White or Light blue Oakland A's hat. Northerners were going to wear tan or black Dickies, white Reeboks, and red jackets. Their hats would be the Cincinnati Reds' hats. This was because the Dark Palace Bloods were wearing Chicago Bull's attire and Boston Red Sox Hats. Braid also told us that the Bloods had taken residence in the Palace Square apartments behind Dominoes and the Tae Kwon Do dojo. There were at least 30 of them between the ages of 16 and 25. We were instructed that we were not to engage in any negative association unless they started it. There was going to be absolutely no dealing drugs with them. Although we were all required to carry guns and Charnell apartments were going to have a nightwatch. We had to ignore Haze getting jumped for now. Since we were the active members we had to tell the Lil Loccs the information given at the meeting. Before the meeting ended Braid told us that we were gunna try to keep things peaceful like they were. We weren't going to turn the town upside down over colors or letters but we were going to keep it our town. That is how it always was and that's how we wanted to keep it.

The meeting ended at 2PM and everyone returned to their own business. I was irritated, everything happened so fast under our noses. We couldn't do anything, Haze got jumped and we couldn't do anything about it. At this point I was probably madder than he was. Not to mention I realized that the fact he got jumped probably had to do with the Bloods from the Stylez Competition and because Flex stabbed them, they were probably plotting revenge. Another thing that was bothering me was the fact that they were colonized right behind Minish's dojo; that may cause problems for her and more for me since Chunk went there. As mad and frustrated I didn't let it show, I knew that would rub off on everyone around me. I called Ray to take Haze to their studio with him and Guero so he could keep his mind occupied by working on music. Because we all knew Haze wanted to get his revenge. C-Rocc and Trevon came with me back to my house right after Haze got picked up. "So what do we do now?" Cee asked. We all sat in my kitchen like we didn't just hear Braid telling us what to do. I thought for a moment, shifting through my angry filled thoughts for an answer. "Me, you, and Haze need to get the hats. Trevon doesn't have to do shit" I threw out. That's all I could think of. "Yeah, but shouldn't you tell Chunk what's going on first?" Cee told me. "Yeah, nigga, he did say tell the Lil Loccs." Trevon added. They were right; I just wasnt thinking straight "Yeah, Trevon can you go pick up Chunk from my sister's house? I'ma make some phone calls." I answered. "Aight, call her and let her know I'm on the way over there" He said on the way out the door. I agreed. Me and Cee sat in the kitchen silent for a while then I said "I'm fucking pissed. Text my sister and tell her Trevon is going to pick up Chunk" before calling Minish. "Hello?" "Hey Minish." "Hey Manny. What's up?" "EQC just had a meeting about the Bloods; when did you meet up with Braid?" "I didn't, I had Tacc Zero go as an advocate and get the information. When I decided what we were going to do, I sent him back this morning." "Oh. Well are you guys going to be helping us with them?" "No, I'm sorry Manny, we can't. After that fight in the parking lot we have our hands full with the SeaBlue City Crips. They are already too much too handle." I remember she had fought and beat five grown men's asses in the parking lot. I couldn't offer her our help for theirs because we were cool with the SeaBlue Crips. "I understand. You're not worried about them trying to do something while you're in your dojo?" I asked. "No, I know the Filipinos won't and I'm pretty sure they won’t like the Black guys do anything either. And if they do, I always have my guards all over the parking lot." "Yeah, true and I stay right down the street, I'll come whenever you need me." "I know you will haha." "Alright Minish, I gotta make a few more phone calls so I'ma let you do." "Alright then, Manish. Bye." "Bye." I hung up with Minish and walked into living room. Then I went upstairs and checked mine and Haze's rooms; Cee wasn't in the house. When I decided to step outside to call him, I wasn't surprised to see he was sitting on the steps talking to my neighbor Gary. "What's up, Manish?" Gary greeted. "What's good, bruh?" I said. "Not much; just got home. I was just about to ask you guys, what happened to Haze? I seen he had a black eye but I was in a hurry so I didn't get a chance to ask what happened." This reminded me we couldn't do anything about Haze's black eye; I stared to get mad again. "Haze and Flex got jumped by 4 guys at McDonalds." Cee answered. "Damn, really? Did you guys like go beat their asses? Manish I know you can, I seen you fight that buff white guy right here." Gary said. He was talking about Powder. Then it hit me that Powder wasn't at the meeting and neither was Roosen Loc. Roosen Loc lived in the apartments and Powder Lived on the Southside so they both should've been at the meeting. "You saw that?" I asked. "Hell yeah. You broke his jaw! There was blood everywhere then your female friend stepped in and stopped you guys." He laughed. I smiled at the memory, but there was still that fact he wasn't at meeting that I wanted to investigate. "Yeah, but anyways I'm bout to go see Braid real quick. Cee, you gunna stay here?" I asked. He looked at me and then my front door "Uh, naw I'm going to wait for Trevon and Chunk to get here." He answered. "Aight then Gary, I'll see you ina bit." I said "Alright, Manish." He responded. I walked down the stairs past C-Rocc and left. As I walked from one side of the apartments to the other I pasted by Roosen's house to see if he was around but there was no sight of him. When I reached my destination of Braid's house, I knocked on his door but he wasn't home. I checked the time; it was 3PM. I called Braid; he was at The Halls of Hell. When I asked him why Powder and Roosen Loc weren't at the meeting he told me that Roosen dropped out of EQC because Powder switched over to banging with Bloods. This was a surprise since Powder thought he was one of the more valuable members of our gang. Him joining the Bloods only meant our beef was going to extend even more. When I returned home Cee was sitting on the couch in the living room. He looked up at me, took a bite out of his sandwich, and smirked. "Powder switched sides to the Bloods and Roosen Loc dropped out." I told him. "So what's going to happen to him?" he asked. I shrugged then Chunk walked in the house followed by Trevon. "Thanks, bruh." I thanked Trevon for picking up Chunk. "Got'chu," He replied as he stepped in the house "I drove past McDonalds, there was hella niggas in there." "Well," Cee signed "There's nothing we can do about it. You seen Braid said we can't do anything. I guess we'll just have to wait till something happens." Chunk frowned and asked "Why?" Then I told him everything that happened at the meeting. At the end of the conversation .We all decided to go to the mall in SeaBlue City to get our uniforms and pick up Haze after. Chunk was mad the whole car ride there but I reminded him we couldn't do anything. Braid was right, Marin had always been peaceful and it was meant to stay that way.

While we were out, Trevon kept trying to get a hold of Dee but her and Alexx wouldn't answer their phones. Later that night around 2AM, while Haze was asleep and Chunk was passed out in my room, me and Trevon sat in the living room. We heard the door knob jingle, Trevon looked at me. From the other side of the door we heard Dee and Alexx's voice talking and them fumbling with keys. They cracked the door open and we head Dee say "Good, they aren't awake." They shut the door and Alexx said "You're going to have to tell them." "No, they'll get mad." Trevon frown then looked at me. I reached over, turned on the light to the living room and Dee swung around and turned her back to us "Where were you at?" I asked "We've been calling you all day!" Alexx wrapped her arm around Dee's. "What were you going to have to tell us?" Trevon asked "Just tell them, Dee they're going to find out." Alexx told her. Dee sighed and turned around slowly. The left side of her face was swollen and bruised. "What happened?!" Trevon asked taking Dee's hand. She looked nervous and hesitant; she looked at Alexx then sighed. What we heard was unbelievable. The day prior Dee and Alexx had met and sold weed to a guy named E-Gunna before leaving to Shark City. He called later that night, since Alexx gave him her number, and asked if they could deliver more when they got back. They agreed and he them his address. The next morning got back into Marin, they went Palace Square where he lived, then to his apartment to sell him the weed. When they got there Powder was in his house sitting on the couch. He asked to see the weed, when Dee stepped in the house, E-Gunna slapped the weed out of her hand and punched her. She stumbled and managed to push him away. She got outside the door to where Alexx was and then Powder said "Fuck that bitch, she rolls with the fucking Crabs." They got back to the car and drove to Alexx's house. Dee had planned on avoiding us but came back to house for clothes. First Haze now Dee, a female of all people. There was no reason to do it but they did. It was like they wanted it to happen. Trevon looked at me, he was feeling the same way I was. Between us there was a cold hard stare; pushed it too far, they pushed the wrong button, we were enraged. The orders Braid gave no longer applied to us; we wanted our revenge.

The Blue Bird's Song

The apartments were dead. It was squared cul-de-sac, open at one end and closed at the other. The buildings were two stories, one apartment on the top accessed by stairs and one under it. The only light were emitted from the car ports, which sat inside the cul-de-sac. We had driven around the car port until we found the house. B-6 on the top; 6 doors from the end of building. We parked by the dojo. Together we exited out of the car into the freezing, foggy night. It had to be the coldest night of the summer and the fog was so dense not even the moon shone. It was 2:06am. We both wore black Vans, black sweats, black hoodies, black gloves and black face masks. Trevon carried a bag and I carried my katana on my back. We were dressed like we used to when we played ninja as kids. We stood looking down the short driveway to the gates to apartments. I shook my cousin's hand; ready, we nodded and ran down the driveway. There on the side of the building was a service ladder, within seconds we climbed up and onto the roof. It was colder and windy up here but all was still silent. From there we crawled over the roof, stopping only to see how many doors down we were. Movement and speed was fueled by our urge to get to our destination and in no time we were there. I looked over the edge onto the balcony. The blind were wide open and no one was awake. I looked at Trevon and nodded; this was it. Silently he dropped down onto the balcony, then I followed. He slowly slid the sliding door open and we crept in the house. It was small, one small living to where you could see the kitchen. There was a short hallway that led from the living room to the front door with two doors on either side. The odor was horrendous, the smell of weed mixed with vinegar. This guy must’ve just moved in because there was almost nothing in the house; no furniture or anything. Slowly and silently we crept down the hallways to the door on the right and turned the knob and pushed it open; it was just the bathroom. That meant the door across from us was the bedroom. We looked at each other. He was feeling the same way I was, there was no doubt, no fear between us. My hand touched the warm door knob, I twisted it, then slowly pushed it open. There he was, asleep in his bed. The light skinned Black man with a "P" tatted on the right side of his face named E-Gunna. Suddenly the blinds began to shuffled in the living room. Surprised, I drew my katana and went into living room. I looked around; it was only the wind that had shuffled the blinds. When I returned to the room Trevon was standing with a pistol to E-Gunna's sleeping dome. Startled that he even brought pistol, I sheathed my sword and wrapped my hand around his. His eyes were filled with icy cold hatred as he stared down at the sleeping Blood. But as soon as my hand touched the cold steel, part of me wanted him to pull the trigger, part of me wanted to pull the trigger myself. Once again, I was the shadow of vengeance; vengeance for the wrong done to our loved one. The darkness tugged away at my heart, urging me, my mind was drawn into the thought of pulling the trigger and watching his brains spill all over the room. The hatred I tried to prevent was now leaking out. "Death to my enemies" ran through my head. This wasn't like our revenge against the Surenos, this was personal. The power to destroy another enemy's existence was in my hands once again. The thought was pure bliss and ecstasy. I was suddenly brought back to reality when I felt Trevon's grip tighten; I lifted the gun up and away Gunna's head. Trevon's voice was cold and quiet "Nigga, if you hadn't stopped me, I would've killed his bitch ass." He laughed. I smirked "Nigga, I was about to let you." Trevon tucked the pistol back into his pants and started digging through his bag. I quickly re-positioned myself to the other side of the bed and drew my sword again. Trevon pulled out a roll of duct tape, we quickly wrapped Gunna down; we did this three more times. I readied my sword an inch from his lips and looked at my cousin. "Aye, Gunna," Trevon said evilly "wake up." The Blood's eyes opened and I slid the sword into his mouth until it touched the back of his throat. His terrified eyes went from Trevon to me; he tried to lift his arm but the tape tightened around him. A cold breeze ran through the room. His eyes returned to Trevon when his stance changed. "You know that girl you hit today? That was my girlfriend." Trevon snarled. Within the instant I pulled the sword from Gunna's mouth, Trevon was pounding into his face relentlessly like a savage animal. The first hit must've knocked him out cold because he wasn't moving or fighting back. Trevon wasn't letting up, his arms cocked and blasted, each hit was hitting harder than the last. Blood splattered on my sword and the sheets. The blood sent him into a rabid frenzy, he began to punch harder and faster. There was anger in his breathing, frustration in his punches. I heard a snap, his left hand dropped, and he slowed down. His vengeful onslaught lasted 5mins and ended with a devastating right hook that snapped Gunna's head back. His swollen eyes opened and he spit out blood. It was like looking a horridly failed facial reconstruction surgery. Blood was splattered everywhere. Trevon turned his back and face the door; he was breathing hard. There was a moment of silence then I sheathed my sword and joined my cousin’s side. He went to grab the doorknob to leave but I put my hand on his shoulder "Hold up." I told him. I turned around and smashed my foot into Gunna's face, knocking him out cold. Me and Trevon left the victim of our vengeance tied to the bed. We got to the front door, Trevon pulled the Blood's tooth out of his bloody glove and tossed it. Before we left the house, I pulled out a paint pen and tagged EQC on his front door in big blue letters. While looking at the tagging, I realized this meant war; the peace we tried to keep with the other gangs ended here. It was inevitable with Bloods in town. Truth was we were gangs and that's what gangs did; it was bound to happen. My cousin looked at me, nodded, and I remember why we did what we did. No remorse. We left the house out into the cold, foggy night.